visiting durian

evie, nicole, lewe and janus came to kl for a holiday...with them they brought michael and morton (did i spell ur names correctly?)...the thing i remember most is lewe, michael, janus and morton's reactions to durian...we went to pak li's kopitiam (my absolute favourite, not that i have lots of favs) and we ordered like humongous amount of food...for dessert (we did order practically half of the menu) nicole ordered the durian-ice-shaving....it was....a crazy experience, to be pc....


they couldn't even stomach the smell...the made these disgusted faces (very very comical) and gosh the taste!!!!!don't even describe the taste...to quote morton 'it tasted like fart...nasty fart (at that)'...fart????did u guys think i'd purposely feed ur delicate palates with FART????but still...their reactions are precious....they couldn't stand anything related to durian...what about durian cake/ice cream guys???looking back, i still don't get that...is there anything about durian that is particularly nasty to foreigners but yummy to locals?


anyway, i experienced a lot these few days when they were here in kl...for example, it's really really hard for me to recommend a ba-kut-teh restaurant to evie and nicole since yup most of the ones i know are like at the suburbs...secondly, kl is really really jammed with people...esply bukit bintang area...i hate that...thirdly, i'm now all reacquainted to kl's public transportation, majorly the trains...i've been to berjaya times square like 4 days in a row...fourthly, sushi king is not particularly great in times square...the food is so mediocre, i wonder why people even go there...but i do love the fish ice cream (my sister alin loved it!)...remember the fish ice cream evie, nicole?u guys got it at the korean restaurant on nicole's bday ^^


fifth, morton and janus are the crazy ones, lewe and michael are the level headed ones, nicole and evie, well, i've lived with evie and seen nicole so many times it's difficult to describe them with just a sentence...they are great!sixth (is there a sixth?), i feel bad for them for the taxi situation...the taxi drivers fleeced them like lambs just coz they are foreigners...bad impression malaysians...seventh, (i've reached my limits of counting here) morton still didn't get his skate board, janus did spent a LOT on shopping (even though he did promised me so many times before coming) and i love the thoughtful gifts u guys brought for my family (the chocolates and the fragrant tea are just delish!the rose, well, like my sister said, my first from a guy, even though it was from all of u guys...let me keep my delusion)...


hope u guys had a great time in malaysia and do come back for a visit!next time i promise i'll have a license and i'll bring u guys to other places!

p/s: visiting durian is just a misleading title to make things all the more interesting than they actually are...

what have i learned this year?

good question...bear on reflecting (u can see my language is deteriorating appallingly)...will think about it deeply...hmmm...

hisashiburi-dane?

yes, it's been a while does it?heaven knows time is not a problem here...i'm swamped (by not doing anything, to quote michael parting words 'u should get a job this summer'...sure michael...sure...)...i'm missing my good friends, nia, rachel and joyce...we had such great times (doing stupendous things)...shout out to my friends who are far away...have a blessed christmas this year...

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lalalala

u know when u see someone all fired up doing something u want to do the same thing, right?...do get what i mean??...anyway, reading someone's blog motivated me to write...but...i don't have anything to say...so...hey people!!!!!!!what's up????????

learn about thyself

cleaning up and clearing up shoe racks enlighten me to a few facts of my inner self:

1. i'm a shoe-whore (not that i don't notice this before)...i have tons of shoes...particularly heels...and flats...and shoes...more shoes...
2. my shoes occupy a third of my family shoe rack (more like a shoe wardrobe)...this is a notable achievement...the fact that i come from a family of 7, 5 of them being females with lots of shoes...u do the math...
3. i take great care of my shoes...truly...i have shoes aged more than 5 years, in healthy condition...shows how great my shoes love is...
4. i want more shoes...
5. my mom should buy a bigger shoe-wardrobe...
6. i want more money to buy more shoes...
7. i need a rich as dirt sugar daddy...to pay for my shoes...
8. i want to go shoe shopping...

this is the harley's great enlightenment of the week...

public announcement

i'm in a great mood to be pissed (i learned how to excellently write a paradox in college, thank you my great teachers)...it's supposed to be a past event but i just have the need to write it now...i was traveling to a mall in the city (such a big event, the use of the word 'traveling') by the lrt and monorail (aka the trains)...on my way back, as usual the train was packed like a tin of sardines (so boring, need to come out with new idioms)...as usual, there were a bunch of youngsters (most of them who do this are usually young, the younger they are, the morally idiot they are, unsurprisingly)...


okay moving on, these younguns were seated on the infirm seats...u know, the seats for old people or pregnant ladies, special seats...of course in a course of a ride i can hardly see an old person or a pregnant lady (at least so far in my experience, but then again it's just coincidence)...but on that particular ride, this pregnant lady came in the train...she looked tired...what did these stupid moronic youngsters do?...*clap clap* yes they ignored her...she stood like about 10 cm from their seats, for her whole long journey...i could recall, there were this idiotic guy who was holding some sort of cert from a local uni (i remember him well, the rat bastard)...this moron was chatting to a malay girl wearing a headscarf and very stylish outfit (the bitch)...and there were 2 other malay bitches sitting next to the first bitch...


the lady stood for the whole 5 or 6 stops...looking very exhausted...very heavily pregnant...none, i repeat, none of those who had seats even looked at her and offered their seats, those morons...and me, the moron of all morons, were too caught up doing the whole internal debate whether i should ask someone to relieve his/her seat for the lady and take a risk of being shot the evil eye from the preggie lady (she did look fierce and had the whole 'i take care of my own business' look on her face)....i should have just done it...at least i tried...


the moral of the story here, so far these malay youngsters have appropriately proven to me that they can be heartless, conscienceless son of a gun (on a previous ride, this nice chinese guy gentlemanly gave my sister and i seats) and i am a coward...live and learn people....live and learn...

venting my spleen

it's confirmed...i ABSOLUTE*UCKING SURE I HATE MALAYSIAN INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!


which part of developing world is malaysia regarding to it's internet???it's so slow, it's messy, service is like a pile of *hit, anything related to internet in malaysia puts my blood to boil....wake up malaysia!!!!we need competent internet connection to be parallel to the developed world!!!

p/s: please excuse my language, grammar and my un-PC-ness...it is meant to be that way...

lips don't lie

.........NOT!!!!!.........lips do lie...my lips are chapped and dark....they look like they belong to a heavy smoker and i hate my lips...i don't even smoke!...it feels unfair somehow....yesterday, i took some pictures with rachel and i noticed that i looked really bad...chapped and blaken lips, due to dry climate, lack of chapstick use (blame it on the exam fever) and lack of fluid....dry scaly scarred facial skin, due to the same reasons as the lips excepting the chapstick (substitute that to lotion application)...bloated face due to crazy sleeping hours and weight gain (let's shout this to the world!)...life sucks...


p/s: my lips are supposed to be beautiful, depicting femininity at the cusp of youth (whatever that is)....

remember

packing is such a pain!to make me happier (and lessen the pain) i listen to songs...songs that keep on replaying in my head like a broken record...songs like bsb's like a child...such a beautiful song...and sing to paul anka's put your head on my shoulder...


and look at pictures...i'll miss u so much rachel!u r my best friend who understood me!rachel plz plz plz get a facebook account soon!!!we'll set facebook on fire, u & i *wink wink*!!!!hahahaha *fangirls screammmmm!!!*....

both of us posers ^^ (at the corner of queen and shortland sts where we got too lazy to walk and sat on the newly built wood bench, enjoying our third baklava in 2 consecutive days)

things i will remember about rachel:

• our dinners....we do enjoy our gastronomic feasts!she always always always get me dessert!love love love u rachel!
  
• her generosity....she's such a great person, who rarely gets angry and put in bad words....i am the bitch in this beautiful friendship with my 'shits, bitch' and so on huhuhu....now i feel bad...anyway, she listens to my 'bitching' sessions (u know this well rachel, week after week)....
• our mutual love of all things entertaining...asian entertainment, that is...from korean to japanese dramas n movies, to pop groups and idols, let us release our fangirls scream!!!!!*sorry evie, u must suffer, thanks so much for ur patience!*...she hooked me into these addictive songs such as super junior's sorry sorry and snsd's gee...we also have our endless discussions of bishies and cuties...our latest target - jang geun suk aka hwang tae kyung....
• willingness to do what i want...such as take crazy pictures, watch movie, eat at my favourite places, watch insensible (or is it?) youtube videos etc etc...
  
• and some things only u & i will ever know....
  

p/s: as i count the days, i will miss more and more of all of my great friends i'm leaving behind...christina, nia, joyce, dora, yaya, fazan, amin, choon wei, gaurav, stacey, chen, evie, nicole, jessie, kak tun and a host of other people....ur friendships help me through my years here and i'll treasure all the good, not-so-great and crazy moments, always!

'see this my way'

evie got a whole crazy view on people...she's funny that way...today, we went to auckland fish market, she felt like fish and chips....i ended up eating most of her chips...okay, before i deviate more off topic, let's move on to the main topic...we went to get our fish and chips...i managed to be clumsy and accidentally spilled our tartar sauce...please don't be alarmed...most of the sauce was managed to be saved by my own fast reflex...and we bought 2 more sauces, an alioli dip and tomato sauce...anyway, apart from falling in lust, errr, infatuation to the beautiful friendly guy at the counter, evie managed to make all these quirky, unexpected remarks about people we saw along the way...


witness these:

1. first unfortunate guy: the beautiful young caucasian guy at the counter of the fish and chips place...he got really really intense turquoise (were they blue?) eyes....he was being friendly, asking about our weekend and making uhmm very uncomfortable comment about the size of our meals....anyway, he was generally being a social creature we humans are....evie's verdict: 'he must be such a player...he knew he's such an all-that, u know a hottie...'.....*silent moment*.....errr evie, the point was, we don't know who he really is...hehehe...
2. second unlucky guy: on the way back home, we passed this beautiful residential area of high end apartment complexes in front of the harbour near the viaduct...in front of the glass apartment complex (the one closest to the market) we saw this guy walking a cute pair of short small doggies....they (the dogs) were terribly cute...we commented on how cute the dogs were...evie's verdict: 'he must have used the dogs to get girls...u know, such a lame way to attract girls'....errr....i only noticed the dogs...hahahahaha....
3. third hapless person/s: on the other side of the apartment complex, now closer to the viaduct, we saw this bunch of probably filthy rich people having a great luncheon on a yacht...they were seen dipping bread with some dips...anyway, the looked like they were enjoying a social scene amongst friends...evie's verdict: 'they must be showing off'....okay....i don't even know what to say to that...i just laughed....

evie is really funny that way...she sees things differently...listen closely to her comments...very inspiring...refreshing too...and hilarious!hahahaha...

so much to do....

life is full of surprises....hmm....just love those words of wisdom....got nothing to do with the whole scheme of things in this particular post but yeah, sound very profound and deep...anyway...i'm connected to the hip to my internet connection...i will so miss my beloved relatively fast broadband when i go back to my home country....i feel like hoarding lots of files to download...so many things to save...my new favourite drama, you're beautiful, so many shoujo mangas, latest fullmetal alchemist episodes, the mentalist latest eppie, so old and new songs etc etc etc....should i upgrade for the final time before thursday?


sadly, i have so many things to do...shipping company to call, money to part with, things to pack or throw, friends to say bye-bye to, emails to check (haven't done this for ages, i'm in denial), clothes, accessories, shoes and presents to shop, luggage to pack, lunch and dinner dates....and so many more things to do...i'm on contemplation mode right now...so lost...ah listening to hush hush by pcd right now....need female empowerment *background song - 'hush hush, hush hush'*....ah did i mentioned this beautiful young man with beautiful intense eyes evie and i saw at the auckland fish market where we ate our crazy lunch today (ate lots of battered seafood with lots dips and sauces....ah not forgetting the organic chocolate and vanilla bean ice cream following)....just a valid point for aesthetic appreciation of the day...

please refer to the post below (this one)

forgot to mention, eighth item in my new favourite list: this mini doughnuts that are (were?) used to be sold at aetoa square in between the city hall and imax buildings on weekends....now they are available near the quad on thursdays or near viaduct....they are oily, small, sweet, soft and damnably good in the melt-in-ur-mouth kinda way...my guilty indulgence (i have lots but these doughnuts are really heavenly)...kak tun doesn't like the cinammon sprinkles and joyce doesn't prefer the oiliness in terms of health but i still love them...they are way way way better than any other doughnuts i've eaten!

ode to my new favourite things

new items keep propping up in my absolute favourites list....please check the list below to understand more:

1. first new thing to love: a korean idol drama called you're beautiful....it's silly but i love it anyway...the guys are cute and the girl is cute (am i repeating myself here?)...tae kyung is my special favourite with the incongruity of his 'manliness' to his 'girliness'....his girliness is manifested by his girl-thiness, his wacky too-fashionable to the point that some of them are too androgynous-looking to be more like girl's outfit than a man's and his thin girly features (especially his facial bone structure)....his manliness is shown in his really really sexy deep voice, manly actions (talk and walk, thank god he doesn't walk like a girl!) and great acting (nothing to do with manliness but it's worth mentioning)....
2. second new love: dark chocolate...not really new here but this propped up during the crazy exam period...ate lots and lots of dark chocolate...the darker it is, the greater it is...my personal favourite are 70% cadbury old gold and whittaker's dark chocolate bars...devoured like 4 bars in a period of 2 weeks...all forgiven here (i need my own forgiveness and none other for this particular sin)....
3. third new favourite love: shoes...nothing new again, but rediscovering it since last time due to lack of time and resources...just bought this really crazy cute skin toned flats with cute ruffles and button on the toe area from rubies (or is it ruby?)...anyway, shoes are great...they heal all wounds (superficial but superficiality is needed at times of need)....ah n the higher and the more the painful the shoes are, the greater the shoes are in attractiveness term!
   
4. forth new love: black widow style....u know, the 40s headgears...the black and white feathers and nets...the slightly skewed positioning of the headpieces...the funeral style feathers and nets...i don't know whether u got me...anyway, i probably don't have the guts to wear them in public even though this style is coming back (too much going on in my whole outfit already to quote evie) but i love love love this style!
5. fifth new love: maxi dress...yes, this style has come and gone and come again but i've never have even a slight interest in it before...now i'm mighty interested...especially these purple flower maxi and gray, white and black random patterned dress i saw today at new lynn mall with kak tun...they are as beautiful as they will be a drain to my pocketbook...
6. sixth new love: big floppy hats...very summer and very hollywood...make me feel mysterious and glamourous...simply gorgeous!have got not even one but well, will be happy to get one as a present *hint hint wink wink*....
7. seventh new love: this list is getting longer by seconds, and half of it is filled with articles of clothing or part of an outfit....this guy named andy...not!caught u!hahaha....can think of none now...hahaha....i'm tiring u, dear gentle readers and more importantly myself...
   

spot the main point

funny that blogging has become one of the things i got addicted to...i seemed to have millions of things to say to share with the whole wide world (not that the world is interested mind u)...just weird....a year ago, i would say 'blogging what?', heck i wasn't interested...now, i remember things and write them down...from crazy things to weird things...anything is worth mentioning...anyway, the point of this is, i missed talking to rachel and nia...missed u guys!that has nothing to do with blogging but i just want to say it....fuh...it's off my shoulder now...

backstreet boys - i love love love love love love them!

a short mention here (tired and my brain synapse are not synapsing properly at this point)...i love backstreet boys (keep the backstreet pride alive!!!)....not embarrassed to say that i'm a huge fan since i was 12....they are pop and my music taste has evolved (less pop nowadays but i still do enjoy pop)....so what?...i love music so yes, their new album 'this is us' is really great (i love them and the songs, i may be biased but who cares!bsb are great!)....please take a few minutes to listen to some of their new songs and love them like i do!hehehe....my favourite tracks are (in no particular order):

• this is us (please stand up!)
  
• straight through my heart (this one takes quite a while to get used to for me hehe)
• bigger (reminds me of their old tracks)
  
• if i knew then (like it just because)
  
• masquerade (i got this crazy mental image of scene....smoky night in venice near the river with people in beautiful dresses and clothes masquerading in beautiful masks, dancing to this beautiful music, while the boys were weaving between these people looking for special something/someone)
• shattered (the first song that actually got the honour to replay in my brain like a broken record!)

go n listen to them!their new album may sound different and they are deviating from their old styles but hey, new can be great!did i mention i love the bsb?

this year in memory diary

as usual per every year my bday passed relatively with few scars...my first text bday wish (according to auckland time) came from fazan (love love love u fazan!she texted me from the hospital, she got a night shift, poor dear) and jaja (msian time and her wish, as usual, was crazy and quirky)....honourable mention to gegel as she actually called me at 5 am (auckland time, 12 pm msian time) on the dot to wish me!....not to mention she actually quoted how much she had to topup for her phone credit to call me (errrr)....thousand thanks to dora, yaya and fazan who took time from their crazy busy schedule to take to to my first bday lunch at food alley....u guys are the best!


millions of love to mama and baba who called and texted me to wish me happy bday!this is a really really really rare action for them and because of that, i love u guys more and more!another lovely thanks to evie and nicole and joyce who took me to another bday lunch on the 13th of november, after my last exam, to one of my favourite japanese place, the sushi place on that alley near saigonz and esquires near the vector areana (funny i never remember its name!) and gifted me my favourite dessert at the yum char place near foodtown (ooops countdown now, and i remember that yum char place, it's called china yum char!!!)...i ate 2 of the heavenly durian snow (and got to taste the mango version, which, sadly, still come far second behind the durian one!)....


i have so many memories of that lunch...one scene worth mentioning, the cold and evie's dressing....nicole was mentioning of the 'sexiness' of it (she used a far more hmmm descriptive word, it was funny!) and the nice warm sunny day suddenly turned cold and windy on our way to the dessert place...joyce was concerned for evie as she was the only one without sweater and shuddering in cold (all of us were garbed comfortably and well-covered in pants and sweater, well at least nicole and i did, joyce was wearing short skirt, but she, at least did have a cardigan on)....and evie's great response to that, yes, 'it's all in the mind'...coldness can be controlled by the mind...what a great philosophy evie....i learned a great life lesson!hehehehe....


anyway, after that joyce and i had a great session of karaoke at our apartment's tv room (we hogged that place for more than 4 hours straight, to the consternation of other people)...we sang and sang (at least i did, joyce were being lazy on the couch most of the time)....of course i paid tribute to old favourites, hotel california (the eagles), careless whisper (wham/george michael), britney spears songs, backstreet boys songs (my absolute absolute favourite), carpenters songs (that includes mr. postman and close to you) and incubus' drive (any songs forgotten, no offense intended, my brain is fried at this point)...sadly there was no lemon tree in the list huhuhu, that's one of my old time favourite too...joyce introduced me to a new favourite, paul anka's put your head on my shoulder....my future husband must sing this song for me (plus the requisite bsb's as long as you love me)....


the same friday night joyce, angela (gela aka joyce's cute cute cute sister who made me a hip bday card herself!) and i ate at mentatz on high street (again a japanese place well favoured by evie and joyce, and yes, i've eaten there a great many times too)...joyce sweetly bought me my favourite cake, the chocolate mousse cake from the gateau house next to nandos and my favourite korean place and the 3 of us devoured 85% of the cake once we reached my place after dinner (after a crazy photoshoot session)....and yes, i'm sick of the egg don (which i always ordered at mentatz) and after the health comment, i've refrained on ordering the oyster don so i ended up ordering grilled tofu don which is tres yummy!


ah to end my nice bday 2009 celebration a handful of my friends wished me a happy bday on facebook...thanks u guys!i'm really sorry for being unable to thank u guys person by person but i know who u are and i treasure the wishes!!!let this be my special dedication of thanks for the wishes!!!

please kill me now

what are killer words for an attractive (or so she believed, let her keep her delusion), single & desperate not-so-but-still-young woman (not indicative to dear ole moi, please pay attention here)?yes, i will educate all of you poor, misguided, clueless male species out there here....the words can be described under the heading of 'boring and bland and you can kill urself now'....the list of words that fall under that category are:

• sweet
• cute
• nice

and any word synonymous to these 3....i've been described by these word, hmm, let me think...yup maybe 34056 times by mostly, yes, the poor, misguided species we called the males...and in my whole 22 (give or take) years of life i have never have a boyfriend....ever...what can i make of that statement?...from my power of deduction, linking the fact of my boyfriendless state and description of 'sweetness, cuteness, or niceness', i've concluded that these are killer words of male-female relationship...really (when in reality, probably none of these so-called males are actually attracted to me, or me to them, but hey, this is my blog, i write what i want anyway)....


these words don't even describe me properly...first of all, i've never been 'sweet, nice or cute'....ever....in my life....i'm 'quirky, bubbly, a handful, crazy, unique, weird' (based on description from my girl friends)....so....i like the descriptions by my girlfriends better...at least i got some resemblance of personality here...no personality is a kiss of death to me...and the best of all, kak tun (a dear dear dear friend) had told me i'm 'beautiful' personality-wise'...it was a beautiful moment in my small dismal life....


so, to all the boys out there, i know u probably will never fall violently in love once u clasp ur eyes on me (hey i'm no angelina jolie material, and never will be), but please, for the sake of my ever-so fragile self-esteem, don't ever tell me in the face that i'm 'sweet, nice or cute'...ever....keep that tidbit for ur enjoyment....makes me feel more alone than ever...


p/s: joyce, i took back what i said...please pass me any of the before-mentioned guys u don't want...i'm THAT desperate!hahahaha....

touching moments

if there is one song that never fails to make me cry, it's luther van dross' dance with my father...it's such a beautiful song...i always always cry when i hear it...

roman polanksi - u reap what u sow

i'm too brain-fried but i need to make my stand...roman polaski...i don't care if half of hollywood claimed he's 'genius' and whatnot...he may have produced great emphatic movies that touch our souls (and what rot)...but a child rapist?raping a 13 year old child, who repeatedly said 'no' to all of his advances (even if she didn't say no, she was 13 for god's sake!doesn't that tell u enough?)...u deserve what u got and more...


whoopi goldberg and all those hollywood people who signed a petition demanding for his release on the basis on his 'genius'ity...think about this, would u say 'release him now coz he's brilliant!' to a man who rapes ur 13 year old daughter?or even u urself when u were 13?be a human...not a hollywood alien whose brain is not wired as a homo sapiens, more like a un-human mixture of animals and aliens (animals coz they performed sexual intercourse indiscriminately, be the partner ur own mother or other various family members and aliens coz u r so weird u don't act and think like a human anymore)....


the take home message here is: think...rules are made to create some sort of resemblance of peace amongst human society...without them, we may as well be animals+aliens...hollywood people seem to think they are beyond human rules...please...they are still human...they die...they decay when they die...sure people remember them more than normal average people...but still...they die anyway....


legacy wouldn't matter to u urself if u are 6 deep under (or cremated, whichever the method of ur burial)...i know i wouldn't care....i would care more of my immortal soul then...so here i'm saying...u rape someone, u deserve to die...or at least for u to be dismembered...n those hollywood hippies who sign that ridiculous release-the-child-rapist petition, not that i'm being evil, if someone close to u who's young and vulnerable get into similar situation, i hope to hell u remember u did sign that petition regardless of that poor girl's feelings...


p/s: for the background story of this crazy child rapist, the internet is flooding with the story, so do give it a check...i promise, u'll choke with outrage (if u are real human who understand human values)....

twitter

should i start a-twittering?

...............................................


after a long (23.4 seconds) deliberation, i conceded that no one cares about what i do at 3.42 pm 2 days ago or how i hate messy room so no....no twitter for me....


-the end-

where is so and so?

mama is a wonderful mother...she's the best mama in the world (probably because she's my one and only unique mama)...she may have invented a few words (or give a whole new meaning to an existing word) every now and then, act neurotic once in a while and give in to strange moods, but she is the best in everything else...she always smells nice...cook the best dishes in the world...treat some real bitches real nice (even though i'm pretty sure she wants to cut them up like a cow and make mince meat of them...mentally)...great gardener (although the talking to plants stuff is kinda weird)...generally, a very good person...


something i remember well about mama is the way she always call out the my younger siblings' names in the car before we go somewhere...she always teasingly ask "where is aboy/alin?i don't see him/her!" even though aboy/alin is right smacked in the middle of the car seat...i think it's one of mama's way to make sure all of us are there and no one is left behind...with 5 kids, she has to make sure...but still...it's really cute...i used to think it was annoying...mama stop doing this now...i think coz all of us are relatively grown up now (relative is the operative word here hehehe) and at this point we should know how to be responsible for ourselves...


i miss those times...when every problem that i thought serious is not actually that serious...life is so messed up when u r all grown up...

tonsilitis

i think i got tonsilitis...i got a massive on-and-off headache and sore throat...i'm in pain...

please tick one of these if u....

all of us have been guilty of stereotyping...i mean when say if u are a 20 year old woman, and u notice a woman who looks like she's in her 50s and strutting around wearing a 15 year old girl's outfit, looking brash and bold as u please, would u:

• be secretly outraged, thinking 'she should've dressed like her age!!!what would her daughter be thinking, seeing her mom dressed like a ho???'...assuming that she even has a daughter...
• be secretly snorting, thinking 'i wouldn't be caught like a 50 year old trying to relive her youth when i'm 50!i'd be dressing like my age, aging graceflly'...assuming when u are 50 year old u would remember that....
• be secretly smiling, thinking 'there u go!a woman who's empowered!do as u please!i want to be like that!'....assuming u'd be courageous enough to be like that when u reach that age....
• be secretly envious, thinking 'man, i should've bought that top last week!it looks good on her, it'll definitely look great on me who's wayyyyyyy younger!'...assuming that top would actually really look good on u, well, u'd never know would u since u haven't bought it...
• be secretly relief, thinking 'fuuuuh, glad i didn't buy that jacket!wouldn't wanna be caught dead wearing the same thing a 50 year old wear!i'd melt into the pavement in embarrassment!'....assuming people would actually take time to notice that u actually wear the same thing as a 50 year old woman and care....

anyway, i could go on and on about this...i'm pretty sure, well, i feel justified anyway, that 99% of us would think any of those things above, excepting the envious line...at least for an instant...u may change ur mind later on, thinking 'hey!who am i to judge!maybe her husband cheats on her with his 20 year old feather brained secretary after 30 years of marriage and she left him...she's now out to make a statement that says 'here world!i'm ready to be my own woman again!i'm done with being a doormat!''....but for a split second, u have thought of those thoughts before u become more human and less judgmental...


i'm not here to preach about judgmentalism and what rot...i judge people a lot...i stereotype people all the time...but the best thing is, at the end of the day, all of us must realise that all of us are human...we make mistakes...better realise that we are actually human, not androids who know our place on earth (which is really really really minuscule compared to the universe) and know that each of us have our own strength and weaknesses and justifications...at that note, i'll end this with, after all that's said and done, after all my rantings and sarcasms, i'm human too...i hate and love with equal fervour, thus u can see me hating some people here...and i love dexter...

nicole's sweet bday!!!

it was a lovely bday and i'm glad that i at least know half of the bday guests...the usual bunch was there: bday girl herself, looking as bright as a possum (sorry nicole, just can't help it!u r just too cute and that word has just been coined to my head, courtesy of janus, of course), evie and jessie (richard's jessie)...alana was also an attendee and i also get acquainted with jessie (korean jessie) and sam...ah and a few other people i didn't get the chance to talk to...plus richard (of course, how could i miss him since he will hold a special line in this festive post)...


moving on, firstly, happy happy happy bday nicole!!!may u continue the journey of ur life with full of great expectations and happiness!i'm happy to see that u get great presents...a cute vintage-looking gray-ivory-silver (okay it's hard to describe the colour here, u must see it to know what i meant) short skirt with 2 small pockets on the side from jessie, evie and i...they style is very simple...very nicole...some feminine stuff (cutesy pink candles and bath oils, i don't remember the scent exactly but they were great!) from someone (i don't remember), an apple body scrub from alana (very nice-smelling by the way!), typical nicole's stud's (a pair of simple cutesy bows, wait, too much cutesy here) and finally, the piece-of-resistance, nicole's bday gift from her mom!to quote nicole 'my mom said my present is waiting in my bank account'...sounds great???u betcha!!!


secondly, we get to eat at our favourite korean restaurant next to nandos on queen street...i've been eating there like lots of time with evie but sadly until now, its name remains elusive to my mind...as usual, i ordered my favourite spicy bbq squid...i know i should've ordered my other favourite, the soft tofu bean stew, but what-the-heck, i was late and i was trying to be graceful by choosing whatever that came to my mind first...the squid was a bit watery, sadly, but it was a decent dinner nonetheless...


thirdly, there was an awkward moment that i managed to maneuver beautifully in korean jessie's intro of sam...it was like, 'ah this is sam, he's my ex'...and she said that cheerfully...and i replied 'hi sam, nice to meet u'...ah let's not forget the mental feet-shuffling moment right after she said that and the requisite word 'ah' just escaped before i covered with my nice-to-meet-u routine...apparently jessie and sam hang out all the time, still...okay...yes...i don't know what more to add after that...still, nice to meet u sam!may u guys be happy as a pair of clams (err...seriously, when i ran out of things to say, i should just shut up!)


lastly, one of the most important moment of my life that i never forget...richard's car stunt...it was...unspeakable...i was literally shocked speechless...evie and i were sent home by jessie and richard (ah bday girl was also in the same car)...to get to our place, richard had to go through hobson street-sky city junction (i don't remember the name of the road)...at top of that junction, being the rain just recently ceased and the road was slick and it was kinda late with an active traffic, richard pulled his crazy stunt...he swerved his car 180 degrees to get into the opposite road...no, he just couldn't calmly pull into another street up front and use that pathway to get us home, he had to do a stunt-car motion with 4 other people at risk of traffic death...and the best of all was, he didn't even warned us...he just, swerved...evie was screaming...i could feel my heart beating and i didn't even remember what nicole did (i think she got squashed by evie and i)...and what did great richard say?'i knew evie's gonna do that!' gleefully, i might add!he meant the scream of course....thanks so much richard!that was really uhmm an experience i could care not to repeat in my whole life...

moi, je parle le francais???un peu, tres tres tres un peu!

one new thing i've heard of today is, interestingly, my accent...this is a recurring topic i know, but this is a real new dimension of accent...so far, i've been told i have malaysian accent (duh, i'm malaysian who's brought up in a typical malaysian city environment), malaysian accent without the typical accent (whatever that means) and non-malaysian accent (undetected accent, which is the most comment i get from a lot of people, latest from jessie, not evie's jessie but jessie the korean i've just met at nicole's bday dinner this week...btw another whole new interesting stories of nicole's bday coming up!)...yes, most people also commented on the fact that i don't add 'lah' 'mah' and all sorts of typical non-comprehensive additional words that are strongly associated to malaysians in general...the fact is, i just don't...


anyway, back to the original story (pay attention here!), i met this korean older lady by the new world shuttle waiting place today...she was very friendly and we got on talking...she kinda knew i'm from malaysia but just had to ask just to confirm...but...she said i have this mixture of spanish and french accent...which is weird...totally weird...i have a few spanish-born lecturers who have spanish-accented english and met a few english-speaking frenchmen before....of course, they do have their own special accents flavouring their english...but me?who is totally not french-or-spanish-born, much less even take a step on either of their soils?who would've known i can add spanish-french melange of accent to my cv now...who would've guessed?


by the way, that title, it's what's left of my scanty knowledge of francais, after 4 years of toiling, trying to get a whole new language into my brain in high school...it may be wrong, but what the heck, at least i'm trying, oui?hehehe....

eid this 2009

eid is close and i'm pretty sure a lot of us are preparing for its auspicious celebration...that means cleaning up, cooking, baking, shopping (not that i've done THAT yet) and yes, some of us are even partying like no tomorrow (okay i've ran out of things to list so i just added that up for good measure!)...i've done some basic cleaning up, not that i expect anyone to drop and visit me for eid but hey, a girl likes to be prepared...i'm not cooking anything this year (or previous years for that matter) but i'm glad i, at least contributed something to eid celebration this time...


yesterday, dora and i baked (hmm was it 'bake'?maybe 'prepare'?) a boxful of honey cornflakes...i must admit i don't know its name but i assumed it's called that....it's a relatively easy eid traditonal 'kuih' or a type of malay specialties that are akin to tea-cakes and cookies and pastries (though kuih has a definite different flavour and texture)...okay, maybe honey cornflakes are not exactly traditional kuih but u get what i mean...okay, i mean we usually have that as one of the array of kuih served on eid...


anyway, as we prepare the honey cornflakes, i ate as much as i made them...it was so yummy i get high on sugar rush...we put these cute milk chocolate buttons on top of each small cup of honey cornflakes and they melt like heaven...can't wait for me, uhmm, other people to visit us and eat the cornflakes (thanks for the cornflakes dora!hehehe)...anyway, another story to tell is that while preparing, we got so sleepy dora asked me to play songs from my mobile...of course, being me, my playlist is at least 2 years old...it was like reminiscing back to my second here in auckland, by listening to the songs...i've got 5ive - until the time is through, carpenters songs and a handful of teary-break-up-i'm dying and r&b songs...typical me...


lastly, to my family and all of my friends and muslim and muslimah out there:

eid mubarak!!!!please forgive me for all of my past and future (because i'm just too human) wrong-doings and mistakes and have a great eid with full of happiness!^^

exercise and diet - things i do for love

i'm starting up a new regiment of diet and exercise today (after gobbling up half box of yummy fat-laden chocolate)...i have to lose weight to be healthy and i need to exercise to keep healthy (here's the theme - lose weight or end up a boyfriendless loser forever)...so, i hate exercising in public...the very thought of jumping mindlessly around with my rolls of fats bouncing here and there for public consumption fills me with with unspeakable dread and horror...i hit on this idea suddenly!i got this skipping rope, a legend of indah...so, skipping it is...


since i'm yet to be fit as fiddle, i'm doing a-minute-of-jumping-and-rest-and-on-again-with-skipping for 30 minutes a day...at least that's my ideal...as for diet, i'll keep off chocolates (give a whole bar to nia today hohoho!feel like giving me a good-pat-in-the-back!) and eat 2 meals a day, that's breakfast and lunch...i'll eat 1/2 cup of rice a day to limit my addiction to rice...anyway, i'll try these regiments first...hope it'll work and i'll at least shed a few kilos before eid next week!

movies and ice-creams - a girl best friend ^^

if there's one thing i'm fanatical about, it's history...historical romance, historical movies, historical dramas...anything period-related (well, other than my other obsessions, i do have tons, unfortunately)....period dresses captivate me...period manners are very interesting...anyway, rachel and i watched 'young victoria' today...no matter what critics might say about that movie (how extravagant in actions and reactions it is or whatever), i love it...simply adore it...it is very beautifully written and i love the love is patently obvious between albert and victoria...


since i love love story, it fits that this movie become my latest favourite...i've been reading about the english monarchy forever, and boy, they are a bunch of interesting people...so full of murders, mysteries and mistresses...ah not forgetting affairs and illegitimate offsprings...anyway, we had a fun movie date, rachel and i...afterward, regardless of the cold (i wonder what part of the cold signals the coming of spring?it's just darned cold!well at least at night), we gifted ourselves some great ice-creams at giapo...rachel got a yummilicious cherries-pistachio-tiramisu cup while i got cherries-and-hazelnut cup...they were indeed heavenly, at NZ$3.50 per scoop (heavenly in taste and price)....


i might be more than 20 bucks poorer today, but both rachel and i enjoyed ourselves (despite of shivering while eating ice-cream...kinda nuts when i think about it)...such a perfect ending of a perfect day ;)


p/s: now, what a nice girl like me can do to get a date with a young, reasonably matured hot guy?

eid in malaysia

funny, when my friends and i first came here (the first year in auckland), the first thing we thought about during a festive season like the eid (aidilfitri) was to send our picture and dedication to a malaysian newspaper...we chose our best pictures (usually pictures of us in a season that would never happen in malaysia like winter) and try to fit as many dedications as possible in a limited space and sent as many entries as possible to the utusan malaysia...we were garbed in our winter best (our winter coats and mufflers and what-not) and looked reasonably happy (while in real life, i was probably half frozen)....


after that we somehow lost our interest in that...we do our dedications in private now, sending cards with our love and best wishes in this happy time...at least that's what i do...i missed celebrating the eid with my family so much...i missed the feeling when i wake up mid-morning (mama will probably be knocking our doors most insistently with threats of baba arriving soon from his eid morning prayer)...i will probably be a sore bear who hates eid for the very reason that i am forced to wake so early in the morning (even though i am very excited the day before, with my baju kurung already pressed neatly and accessories all ready arranged accordingly on the table)...my other sisters will take turn to take their showers and i will be the last madam in line...


mama will probably already ready downstairs, smelling beautifully as usual (mama's smell)...baba will come home from eid morning prayer and all of us will ask for forgiveness from both mama and baba...there will be joviality in the air, with teasing of how stingy baba is in giving 'duit raya' (pocket money or malay version of angpau, a tradition adopted from the chinese from chinese new year)...next, we'll be bundled up in our family car to our next destinations - baba and mama's families homes (which are quite near our own, sadly i don't have a 'kampung' so i've never experience the 'raya in kampung' or aidilfitri in the rural areas/village feelings, with no lemang to bake or making ketupat before raya, or knocking neighbours doors for 'duit raya' on the first day of eid)....eid in the city is definitely different from eid in the village...


i missed nenek maridah's spicy fried chicken, beef rendang and display cake (the cake is only for display until first day of eid is over, so no touching, only looking)...nenek maridah is best cook, other than mama, of course....the first day of eid is full of unspoken expectations of a happy day and reunion of family members and all the good things in life...we wear our new clothes and all enmity is forgotten temporarily for that auspicious day...


i know eid will not be arriving in an approximately another 2 weeks, but the closer the day is, the more melancholic i feel...eid is definitely different here in auckland...it is not bad, just different...celebrating with friends, with no special holiday for eid celebration (sometimes celebrated during the exam/test period), there is less celebratory feelings in the air...however, all of us do our best to celebrate it...we have our big celebration, usually about a week after eid due to circumstances but i am still happy that we are still celebrating...anyhow, this is not meant to sadden those who are far away from the loved ones...this is a reminder that no matter how far our loved ones are, i am sure we are all remembered as we remember them...my family will always be in my heart....

dresses

right now i'm debating whether to buy a new dress or not...the maxis are coming back into fashion and some of the maxis i've seen at the shops on queen street look positively scrumptious!...the main reason for this sudden need of having a new dress is that i'm having a dinner this coming tuesday night...i'm kinda bored with my brown dress already (even though i still love u brown dress!don't despair!)...i've worn it like thousands of times aucklanders already known it by heart...so...i want a new dress!!!...is it wise, in economic sense?...not really...i should save...but i really want a new dress...


these are some of great dresses that i fell in love with while browsing through the net:






pictures courtesy of designerhighstreet.com ;)

give me more!!!!

i love belgian truffles!...how many of my posts started with 'i' for the first sentence, anyway?...uh...okay back to belgian truffles...i ate 200g worth of one of the greatest chocolates i've eaten in my whole chocolate-laden life within 2 days!!!the truffles are not the super exclusive nor super expensive like godiva, but i swear to god it's heavenly...dora, yaya, wee and i went to sylvia park's westfield and bought these heavenly truffles at k-mart...they are not terribly expensive but my-oh-my they took my breath away...


being cautious, i bought only 2 boxes of truffles...boy, wasn't i'm wallowing in regrets now...at least yaya and dora bought more than 2 boxes of these gift from heaven...*sigh*...i'm fighting the urge to open the other box that's left...i'm telling u, k-mart surprises all of us with the quality of it's belgian truffles...right now, i'm plotting of my plans to go to k-mart again and grab more boxes of these lovelies!so the whole point of this useless raving is that I WANT MORE BELGIAN TRUFFLES!!!!

point to ponder - indonesia vs malaysia

in my moments of clarity and sobriety, i've been thinking of people (and of course i, myself included) and things we've done and still doing that are foolish and causes undue and untold consequences...take war, for example...2 parties foolishly never try to compromise (or one party, at least, like america, become the judge and jury, believing that it can cure the world of 'terrorists' while they act like terrorists themselves by creating war here and there) and achieve peace by negotiation...war has grave consequences...death, poverty, suffering, and things that drive people to do more excessive behaviours that causes more misery...i'm taking a stand in believing war is not the answer, but then again, what do i know of the world, in my own naive perspective...


here is one issue i think people need to mull over and try to give proper, thoughtful response, instead of bull-heading and pointing fingers...take the case of manohara odelia pinot...i admit, i know nothing of her, of her family or her friends and circumstances...but being a realist, i inquire, is what her mother allegedly said true?...why she, herself keep quiet about it?....is she as blameless as claimed?....saying that her daughter were being abused by her ex-husband, the kelantanese royalty, and publishing it willy-nilly to the media, incite and fanning the rage of indonesian public that has already been blaming malaysians on many other things....indonesians have already claimed that malaysians steal their culture and whatnot, now we are abusing their citizens (including indonesian maids working in malaysia)...


and i've tried to find news or any blogs regarding malaysians' response to all these allegations...surprisingly, malaysians are more circumspect in our responses...not that i'm saying we are angels and act all patient and understanding...i'm claiming that most of malaysian medias are not actively propagating the issue and blowing things out of proportion, furthering the hatred and rage against the other country...these things are one of the things that can lead to bloodshed and war...did i ever say that malaysian royalties or malaysians blameless?...


no we're not...we're not perfect, we do wrong things and make mistakes but will fanning this unholy rage helps in settling this matter?...to me it made manohara and her mother appear foolish and greedy (why does she marry a royalty in the first place when she already has a boyfriend?her previous lifestyle before marriage is also suspect...we're talking about royalty here...it's a whole totally different lifestyle from manohara's previous clubbing and having fun scenes like the pictures uploaded everywhere in the net...royalty and being a royal, even with all the castles and money, is bound to have its own restrictions and boundaries and protocols)...


anyway, most malaysians are advised not to travel to indonesia nowadays, for being afraid of our safety....i really want to visit jakarta and bali with my girlfriends but my baba, i'm pretty sure will be dead set against it....is this what indonesian government and public want?...to further restrict the economic flow from its neighbouring contry?....with the burden of world bank debt, isn't a bit of help from the tourists, even from the hated malaysians aid in alleviating it?


i don't hate indonesia or indonesians...my father's ancestors are from indonesia...i am admittedly half-indonesian, look like one, however undiluted my blood is...my paternal grandmother still speaks her local indonesian dialect with her family...our family has a lot of indonesian maids...most of my uncles and aunties and my grandmother treat them well...i've seen it, i'm not being partial or anything...admittedly, my first paternal uncle and aunty are harsh with their maids...they give bad impressions on malaysians in general, but the again, they don't abuse their maids....


i love indonesian cultures, arts, music, food, shopping and country...but in comparison, sadly, i've seen how indonesia is like...yes, i've never been to other parts of indonesia other than bandung and i've never seen the whole of malaysia's nooks and crannies (even though i've travelled extensively throughout malaysian peninsular all of my life), but what i've seen breaks my heart...i've seen children begging on the road while i was in the taxi on the way to my hotel...i know malaysia has our share of poverty, yet, i've yet to see ragged children running to cars while the cars are stopping to beg alms in the city....and yet, i've seen claims that malaysia 'steal' a lot of things from indonesia...


did we steal ur freedom?....did we steal ur richness?...looking back to our shared history, i remember indonesia gained their independence earlier, way earlier than malaysia while malaysia was still struggling to break free from the british...is it not supposed to give indonesia a greater advantage in regaining the richness they lost from colonialism relative to malaysia?....malaysia have our share of grief...we lost singapore (admittedly to a rather foolish prime minister) and we had may 13 1969...we had our moments of grief, but we move on, trying hard to make our country better economically and in all other aspects...but coming back to the previously asked questions, in which part did we steal from indonesia?


that issue of manohara and her mother, is this one way to worsens the fragile relationship between indonesia and malaysia?...i'm praying hard that this wouldn't lead to war...here, i'm praying that both of us, indonesia and malaysia to be more circumspect and think deeply before we part with harsh words and accusations...i love my country...it may not be as popular as other south east asian countries like singapore, indonesia, thailand or the phillipines (i have people asking 'ah where is malaysia, exactly?'), but we are a peaceful country, with plenty of chances for education and better life...malaysia is one of the south east asian countries that doesn't borrow from the world bank in the 1998 economic downturn (thanks mainly to our shrewd dr. mahathir) and while we may not be a developed country (yet), like singapore, we are moving in the right direction and i'm proud that malaysia is one of the 'newly industrialised countries'...


having said this, i hope the public will think carefully and investigate before we say things that can only make things worse...depending the media as a way of getting information is not sufficiently accurate...while it is true of the saying 'where there is smoke, there is fire', it is also true that we don't want to willy-nilly jump into conclusions and look like a fool in the end...the media has its own propaganda...we need to look at a story from every sides...


anyway, i'm stressing here that i'm not claiming what manohara's mom said is true or not, but we as a public, shouldn't bicker like immature children about it....let the 'injured' and the 'accused' parties sort things out in privacy without external pressure...after all, who are we to throw stones?...all these fightings in youtube comment sections and fiery writings in blogs (such like i'm doing now), need to stop...stop pointing fingers...it never help...this is my last word on this issue of indonesia and malaysia relationship...i would not drag this further but lastly, please people, just think....


p/s: i may not be articulate but i'd hate to re-read and alter any part of these long-winded post ;)

i want this!

i fell in love with samsung omnia II about a few months ago (for those who have no idea what the heck i'm babbling about, it's a mobile phone)...it's sleek, it's beautiful and most importantly it's a touch screen phone...yes, i live like 3 years behind in terms of high-tech gadgets and so far i've only one mobile phone and have never changed it yet for a better model...my current phone was bought about 4 years ago (yes i got a phone late in life, the story of my life) and it looked so battered like it has been to war and has proud scratches and scars to prove....and not to mention a highly visible star-shaped crack that monopolises the right side of the screen...


anyway, samsung omnia II is my dream...i can't afford it unless i sell both of my kidneys...ah maybe my liver too...funnily i've never been into iphone (and all of i-stuff like itouch or ipods)...no matter how modern or beautiful iphone is, i've never have the slightest twinge to possess it (of course the sky-rocketing price plays a part in making that decision)...okay, maybe a bit (who wouldn't want a new phone???)...well, unless i got it as a gift or something...i love presents, so i'll never reject/return it, u know, just in case ehem any of u guys out there is planning to uhmm give me an iphone...


anyway, back to samsung omnia II...it has great features and specifications (that i would probably will never use, i'm a minimal-texter-and-caller kind of person)....its screen is large (i heard it has the largest screen relative to all other touch screens)...it also has a very beautiful colour resolution...the 5MP camera also doesn't hurt...anyway, give it a check at samsung omnia II page...hint hint - *i want this for my birthday this year ;)*

more clazziquai babbling...

when i have too much time in my hands i start doing stupid, time-wasting things like analysing song lyrics (while i should've been 'analysing' my study notes huhuhu)...anyway, i should've been doing my laundry (like i've mentioned to dora and yaya, like 34 times already since 3 weeks ago)...instead of doing time-worthy things like laundry, room and house cleaning and study, i listened to clazziquai's love ends million of times...yes, they have released their new album...it's called mucho punk (they have the weirdest album names i've heard in my short 18-years of life)...the japanese version is called mucho musica...


so far i'm liking the album, very very mucho...i don't like dance all that much but some that i love like sophie ellis baxtor, i really really love them...i'm not labelling this latest clazziquai offering as 'dance' genre, mind u (calm down, all die-hard fans out there!)...it's clazziquai (that should have describe it sufficiently)...by that, any clazziquai's fans should have known that they have an eclectic sound...it's always a mixture of a lot of genres that should've sound crazily mixed up but somehow they do this well...let me introduce u to my fav band:

• alex has the smoothest voice ever...
• horan has the sexiest deep voice that seduces in every song...
• dj clazzi is the brain behind all of their great masterpieces...

all of them contribute into producing wondrous music that i love well...my favourite (most favourite) so far is their 'baby' offerings, instant pig and color your soul albums...jazz and groove at their best, i must say...but mucho punk has it's own allure...right now i'm jumping into love from one song to another...currently i have a love-affair with love ends...the tune is just addictive...anyway, give it a try!

do u like it?

funny thing

while i was stuck like a stuck pig in a pen in the bus to tauranga (remember my nausea?), rachel texted me...okay this is not a world revelation, we do text each other especially towards the end of the week since we do usually hang out on friday....anyway, i missed out friday-dinner-and-gossip for 3 weeks due to busy-ness...back to the main point, rachel suggested us watching rain's new movie...the main issue to be highlighted here is - we are not watching the movie for the story-line's sake or to critic rain's acting ability (i found him to be a reasonably able and good actor based on his previous dramas and movies)...


we are planning to watch because - bang the drums please - rain is ripping off his shirt and prancing off half naked!yay for all multiracial fangirls all around the world!and both of us are not even koreans!rachel is not even asian!hehehehe...i was like 'i'll pray so hard that he'll do some shirt-taking scenes!*squeal*!!!!'....and rachel reply was 'he DOES harley, he definitely DOES!fangirl screams!!!'....no need to convince me more rachel...i'm in!so...rachel is currently in hamilton now, enjoying her holiday....but as she said 'ill definitely be back!'...and off we go, happy squealing fangirls, waiting to glimpse a naked rain (err...semi-naked....after all he is not a porn artist) in the silver screen...


last words - it is a sad day to observe when i started to use the internet to check my 'convince' spelling...how fast and far the mighty falls (i feel like 'convincing' myself that i am after-all the know it all)....

clazziquai - love again

a quick shout-out to my favourite band, clazziquai (clazziquai project)...love their new song!so here it is - clazziquai - love again:

p/s (it seemed i've been doing all these p/s's a lot lately huhuhu): listening to love ends...it is such a fab song!love it!love it!love it!love it!!!!!

comment please

i wonder if my comment thingie down there (look up!not down there as in below u!it's at the bottom of each of my post!) is working...i tried and it seemed to not correspond to my gentle touch (err more like hammer fist)...anyhow, i'm not sure whether it is working or not, so, please, i plead in supplication to all of my around 5 daily gentle-readers, can u tell me whether the comment section is working by leaving a 'this thing is actually working!' message to me at the comment section here?or if it's not, would u be ever so nice and email me at hmoh024@aucklanduni.ac.nz?thanks!love u muah muah!


p/s: this may seemed like a very subtle hint for u guys to comment but i swear to god i'm not dropping hints left and right for u guys to leave me some words!i swear!don't need to feel forced to respond to my posts!

modern dilemma

a brand new month brings brand new things, err, issues to think about...the means, more to scribble on...a new (actually not so new) issue is internet connection in new zealand, specifically auckland, more specifically any address in auckland cbd i've lived so far....internet in auckland is akin to diamond, gold or other precious, ultra-crazily-expensive stones...while u can use almost unlimited amount of fast connecting internet almost everywhere in developed and developing nations, new zealand brings a new meaning to the word 'stingy'...


let me explain here...while in malaysia internet is still stuck in 1998 era (slow 'broadband' connection, almost non-existent sometimes, as it goes on and off at will...don't forget bad customer service, let's call it dummy customer service, it is just there for the internet service provider to say 'hey, we have effing-customer-service if u need any help!'), people still can use unlimited internet (u just need patience)...here in new zealand, while internet is relatively fast (while may not be as fast as say japan or america, it is still darned fast), we have this frustrating-and-mind-numbing thing called 'capping'....capping is defined as limited amount of internet...


capping means if u pay for, say a 5 GB monthly plan, then u are allowed to use almost (not even f***ing 5 GB for god's sake!) 5 GB of internet flow monthly...if u exceeded ur quota, then the internet provider will revert your connection to a dial-up speed until that month ends...that means - u are stuck in the 1990's internet matey!...or pay more for more bandwidth...towards the middle of the month i always feel like banging my head to my glass window, shouting 'why god do these torturers (aka internet service providers) want my pounds of flesh???why god, why???', until i bleed to death and someone notices and decide that internet is unlimited as a dedication to moi...then, i'll rise from the dead and become a happy resemblance of human again...


anyway, the capping is one thing, the price of one plan is another thing...i used to live in apartments that don't allow outside internet services...that means i had to use theirs...that means they skin us, the renters, and we have to swallow it and smile...i remember a 1 GB weekly plan (check that out - WEEKLY, i repeat, WEEKLY, as in seven 24 hours - ladies and gentlemen) is $10....that equals to $40 for a month...that's so absurd, i can't even snort 'absurd' in the building receptionists' faces...and that's the cheapest plan there is for an individual room...1 GB means about 3 hours of youtube and u r a goner...don't even let me go on and on on my other apartments' internet so-called-best-plans...they suck our aucklanders' blood dry....


the moral of the story here, while internet is darned-it-i-almost-hate-my-life, we are 21st centuries creatures...almost 90% of us are dependent on internet (let's just say this is a modern addiction, apart from mp3 and latest mobile phones)....we breathe internet...we'd rather cut off some of our food budget just to get more internet...so...being a modern being with limited means in auckland sucks sometimes....

i hate pain!

what's worse than bleeding nose is bloody headache...i was assigned to go to tauranga to fetch high school kids for the auckland uni's courses and careers day on last friday...we were sent by bus and it was supposed to take around 3 hours and 50 minutes to get there (but it took a well bloody 4 hours and a quarter!)...luckily i had malisha and dora with me on this trip so it wasn't that bad...dora was very adorable and malisha was very talkative...we departed at 615 pm so i had to break my fast real fast before i get on board...i also received my hershey's caramel on that very friday so i shared them with dora and malisha on the bus...


for that (chocolate gorging on an almost empty tummy while traveling on a bumpy road), i get a massive bloody headache...i was nauseous and felt like throwing up the just-eaten-chocs-and-peanut-butter-sweets...i felt like i was dying (and would prefer to die rather than suffer the massive fist squeezing my brain every 2 seconds)...i hate headache...i blamed it on the hershey's...they are bad for u!the moral of the story here, i have this ongoing laceration in my right nose, it is real bad and painful...but, headache is listed first in my list of the-most-painful-thing-in-this-side-of-my-reality so far...dying would be worse but yeah, i'm still alive, so that list stands for now...


p/s: headache is bloody so yeah, bloody goes with headache...err...

serious time - i am malay and a malaysian

okay bear with me....this is going to be the last post for a while (most probably!)...i'm intrigued by dr. m's quirky and thought-provoking blog...his blog is very simple...his words are very simple...his messages are not...but one thing that grabbed my attention, this time particularly, is related to racism...coming from malaysia and living in auckland for almost 4 years, i've come to appreciate the differences between different ethnicities...


it is indeed very difficult to say we are impartial and we are against racism...truly...we are partial to our own root, even subconciously...root meaning that in whatever culture we are brought up in, to which we feel belonged to and most identified with...it doesn't necessarily means out race...race is the herediatry genetic make up we are born with, something that cannot be erased no matter how thin our blood is (no matter how many times removed u are from one race, u are still partially that race if u have ancestor who is)....


what truly makes a whole lot of difference is our ethnicity...that's what i've learned over and over again in my population health and psychology classes here in auckland...this point never fails to impress me...i am a malay, race-wise...no doubt about it...my baba and mama are pure malay (may have lots of mixed heritage like chinese and some others)...i may have some ancestors who are chinese or some other races but i've lived like a malay...i speak malay...i eat malay food...i live like an average malay (okay citified, crazy version of malay culture)...i identify myself with the rest of malays...but i am also a malaysian...i live like a malaysian...i go out karaoke-ing and eat at mamak restaurants and tapau food (have doggy-bag for leftovers).... for that i am also a malaysian., not just a malay..i have a friend, stacey who is half samoan and half chinese...she identify herself as such as she is brought up in a typical samoan culture but she is also taught some chinese culture by her parent...i have another friend christina...she is a chinese but since she's lived here in nz for so long, she identifies herself as a kiwi...so there u have it, race and ethnicity are different....


my point here, we can't escape who we are...and to some degrees, we may have thoughts of how our race or ethicity in general is better or worse than others...and we may accept or reject our backgrounds, but we still who we are...we can be more than our race, we can belong to more eth nicity....clinging to our race and believing that we are the very best, that's where racisim is born...sometimes, we think that our race or ethnicity is better and we vehemently reject others...the difference is how tolerant we are and how we try to understand other cultures and accept the fact that they are different people out there...that's what make u a racist or not...


it's not possible to be 100% blindly accepting of other cultures and disregard our own after 20 years of upbringing...if u hate other cultures, sight unseen nor understood, and without deeper knowledge of how relatively different and similar they are to our own, then u are clearly a racist...if u do have deep knowledge and still hate them and show it too, u are clearly a major racist and in trouble...it means u never even try to put urself in their shoes and be tolerant (and that is degrees lower than understanding, means u don't even try to tolerate, let alone understand)....


i admit as a malay malaysian in auckland, i have a fair number of non malay and non malaysian close friends...i hang out with them, eat with them, talk to them...and try to understand them...i love our differences and similarities (similarities do exist across cultures, we just have to pay attention)...i may not sing my cultural song to reflect what i am feeling in formal occasions like graduation ceremony or walk barefoot along the street in summer, but i do understand their meanings and logic behind it...sometimes culture has no logic...it is just is...something passed over through generations, a relic of a past....


my whole point of this long winded rambling is, we can't erase our identity and try to be another race altogether...that takes time...a very long time...probably forever...and i don't even want to be another race...i'm comfortable where i am, being who i am...i am a malay and i am also a malaysian...one doesn't preclude the other...i admit my race's failings and triumphs...we have our share of them...but to deny my heritage and be a whole new other person, that's something that i would never choose...kiwi, asian, chinese, malay, caucasian, tongan, samoan, maori and any other races, we are born as what race we belong to and brought up as what ethnicity we feel close to...


things like white supremacy still reigns (noticed this especially after some lecturers accidently slipped, making statements like 'yes, the whites are more cleverer' and then behaving as if apologetic and thinks that the rest of us are stupid and doesn't actually understand that)...no matter where u go, even to a peaceful (relatively) countries like america, malaysia, new zealand and australia, racism still exists and will probably exist until the world ends...acccept this and we will all be better off....the main difference is how we handle this...eradicating our own race is not the way to deal with this issue...of that, i am convinced...

iftar

i'm in my full blogging mode...i just want to waste time (even though got so many things to do T_T) and write and write...now i'd like to share what dora, yaya and i made for iftar yesterday...after 5 minutes of deliberation by yaya (this was after i got back from my career day training at 1.30 pm), we decided to make yummy quiche, chicken rice (just the rice, our version), grilled tandoori chicken, garlic mash and onion gravy...yaya and dora generously provided all the materials for cooking (well except for the gravy powder i got at home, ground pepper and the quiche dish, which didn't count)...


we went for a shopping expedition at foodtown...i did say i'd go back to my own place after iftar but alas, i'm still at dora and yaya's... i don't even begin to understand how small my resistance against their combined logic of staying over yesterday night...anyway, i fell asleep really early (maybe around 9.30 pm) and woke up at around 12 am...and had a splitting headache, that i couldn't go back to sleep peacefully...that leads me here, blogging away...


anyway, the food was plentiful and good...i especially love the garlic mash and onion gravy...typical to like the smallest amount dish of all...i guess the more unavailable something is, the more attractive the item is....yaya's tandoori chicken was tender, spicy and especially tasty...overall, all of us ate well and got stuck to the chair like a bunch of beached whales after iftar...moral of the story here, we love food, dora, yaya and i, and we love eating...and we wasted time talking after iftar instead of speedily doing our maghrib prayer...huhu...and noticeably absent is vegetable, one of the most important part of a healty diet...

just want to share

one of my favourites of all time...loved it since 2006...timeless by xiah junsu of dbsk and jang ri in (zhang li yin):

and yes, there are 2 versions of this video...this is the second one:

and this song is originally sung by kelly clarkson and justin guarini...this korean version is no worse or better...i just love the sadder lyrics and great videos...i love kelly and justin version, don't mistake me, but this version videos just bowled me over...ah and the fact that there are beautiful men like choi shiwon and hang kyung of super junior in the videos doesn't hurt either ^^