Tuesday, March 10, 2009

yes and no

can a thing be true while the contrast holds true too?i think i'm twisting my words here...i was reading this something (i should stop this awww-shucks-i'm-embarrassed-but-not love/hate relationship with romance) and it made me think...well, can i be shy and extrovert simultanously?solid proof here: ME.i am truly shy...i think too much of what people may percieve me as that i turn craven when approaching strangers...it's not an exaggeration...i have to string some sentences, do a what-if analysis, prepare some emergency reactions and responses and do a mental checklist of things-to-say-and-not-to-say in my head in preparation to saying hi to the person who has been sitting next to me for half of an hour in class...how pathetic i sound...but then again i'm pretty sure there are some people out there who suffer this affliction...the trick is - keep on going no matter what!i survive (and still is) this human jungle so i know those little-miss-mr-shy out there should stand together and be strong (a bit whatever-just-move-on-already)!

at the same time, i can be too friendly with my incessant chatter...once i've passed that do-or-die gate (introduction to new people 101 test), i can talk a mile a second...or talk someone's ears off...or confuses them with my convoluted conversation...it's a wonder that i can talk about minimum of 20 subjects under 15 minutes (u do the math)....at least that what one of my college mates said to me back then...he got this dazed-wonder look pasted on his face when i stopped for breath...i also know that it is possible for me (too possible) to carry a conversation (one-sided as it is) alone for an hour stretch without losing my momentum from start...

so what does this say about me?i'm a mixture of contradictions?that i'm a very complex person?not so deep as that...merely that i'm human after all...we cannot put ourselves in neat little boxes marked 'chatty' or 'shy' or 'need-to-delete-her-contact-coz-she's-loony' or 'marvelous' (i can go on and on...) and voila! 'i'm all labeled up now, smile my madonna-like smile and be content as a well-fed kitten'...humans are a creature God created to be who we are...so...be prepared to do a lot of fake smiles, give meaningless answer and do mental arithmetic when i'm around!or bring a bag to bash my head when i start to grate on ur delicate nerves!


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