this is a short post about the disgusting thing i ate today...yes, it's food again (i have no idea why i don't have inspiration and energy to write about other things)...i craved for sweet things after dinner (jjajangmyun...again...this is a better version than the last one)...since i rarely buy cookies and stuff, i decided to make a bowl of sweet oats (since the ingredients are sitting nice and quiet in the pantry drawer)...i didn't put enough milk so the the result is sticky, brownish yucky combination of oats, milk, water and maple syrup...what can go wrong with that combination?ah brilliant question...my bowl of oat turned out to be lightish, sickly brown with sticky consistency of stale rice being kept too long in a container...yup...it looked and tasted disgusting...apparently oats too need proper portion of ingredients to be edible...now i learned my lesson....
Friday, March 27, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
pleasure temptation
nothing to do with all sorts of temptation u are probably imagining right now (risque thoughts?kinky stuff?)...i'm sitting here on my desk thinking 'hurmmm now that my kitchen is so far away like the moon is to the earth (i have a communal kitchen...don't know what it is?go n look it up somewhere), i might as well starve and go to sleep'...which is not as severe as it sounds...i'm in nowhere near the danger of starvation (as most of u know)...i have food...it's just the food comes in ingredients that need to be put together aka cook to become edible (u can't eat rice raw can u?ah i probably can if i reach that certain level of hunger)...n the other hindrance is that it is in the kitchen which is about 1 hour walk away from my apartment...okay slight exaggeration, more like 1-2 minutes walk away, if i have the stregth to move my butt from my bed...
i think it's a brilliant idea to build a communal kitchen...it means i don't eat as often as my tummy instructs me to believe (yes, my tummy has it's very own idea of meal times, usually comes around every 5 mins after the last meal)...i know i'm not that hungry and desperate for food when i know i can just let go of the idea that i need to go to the kitchen...well, truthfully i can say that now...i'm pretty sure that if my belly is screaming blue murder for food i will definitely turn my way of thinking 360 degrees around...i will probably curse the architect or anyone to his ancestors who thought it is a supremely good idea to put miles of distance of a famished girl and her food...
anyway, the point here is i want food now...since i don't buy garbage food aka brunch food such as chocolates or cookies (since i will gobble all of them up 5 seconds after i unpack them at the pantry), i need to go and cook...since that means i need to go to the kitchen, all hope of immediate appeasement died an instant heroic death...i can bravely say 'yes, this is good tummy...we absolutely need to eat meals properly at proper time at a proper proportion'...i feel happy and proud of myself right now...now if only i can lose 5 kilos per night just by the thought of food-eating-prevention...
i think it's a brilliant idea to build a communal kitchen...it means i don't eat as often as my tummy instructs me to believe (yes, my tummy has it's very own idea of meal times, usually comes around every 5 mins after the last meal)...i know i'm not that hungry and desperate for food when i know i can just let go of the idea that i need to go to the kitchen...well, truthfully i can say that now...i'm pretty sure that if my belly is screaming blue murder for food i will definitely turn my way of thinking 360 degrees around...i will probably curse the architect or anyone to his ancestors who thought it is a supremely good idea to put miles of distance of a famished girl and her food...
anyway, the point here is i want food now...since i don't buy garbage food aka brunch food such as chocolates or cookies (since i will gobble all of them up 5 seconds after i unpack them at the pantry), i need to go and cook...since that means i need to go to the kitchen, all hope of immediate appeasement died an instant heroic death...i can bravely say 'yes, this is good tummy...we absolutely need to eat meals properly at proper time at a proper proportion'...i feel happy and proud of myself right now...now if only i can lose 5 kilos per night just by the thought of food-eating-prevention...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
pix plz
indah asked me how did my jjajang turn out...well...it turned out fine...why am i sounding so unenthusiastic when i searched high and low for my black bean paste (the korean version as maangchi highly recommend)?it's just that i was so dead beat when i cooked it that the jjajangmyun did not even register in my pitifully exhausted brain...i did promise rachel and i was trying hard to be upbeat, happy and excited whilst cooking but alas...when it was time to eat i had this i'm-not-sure-my-soul-is-here-or-not-but-my-body-is look pasted on my face....
the point is, i did promise pictures...sadly, i realised that i left my camera at home (aka kl, not auckland) so i'm left camera-less...i went to newmarket today n browsed at bond and bond...my favourite cute pink sony 10.1 megapixel camera was out of stock...and as the cute salesguy said 'please come over anytime this week and i'm pretty sure they'll be here!' with such bounce and energy that i got struck by the brilliance of his perkiness at 5 in the afternoon...i was almost convinced to buy anything that he recommended just because i was struck dumb by his cuteness...coming back to the real topic, i decided to look around...ah and the wonder of new zealand shopping time, it was no surprise that almost all shops excepting the warehouse, foodtown, food courts and cafes were closed...alas, i snuck around in front of noel leeming to try to get a look of cameras on display....i just managed to look like a sneaky thief (who was planning to rob a shop at 530 in the afternoon, and being blatant at it)....
here i feel the need of cameras...when i have it, it was stuck unused in the drawer...when i don't have it, i desperately feel that i want to snap all things possible to record each second of my life...i think there is a saying for this...does it go something like this 'when u have it, u forget it, when u lose it, u remember it'?or something akin to that anyway...i want a camera!i wish i have a sugardaddy to buy me one now at a snap of my fingers!
the point is, i did promise pictures...sadly, i realised that i left my camera at home (aka kl, not auckland) so i'm left camera-less...i went to newmarket today n browsed at bond and bond...my favourite cute pink sony 10.1 megapixel camera was out of stock...and as the cute salesguy said 'please come over anytime this week and i'm pretty sure they'll be here!' with such bounce and energy that i got struck by the brilliance of his perkiness at 5 in the afternoon...i was almost convinced to buy anything that he recommended just because i was struck dumb by his cuteness...coming back to the real topic, i decided to look around...ah and the wonder of new zealand shopping time, it was no surprise that almost all shops excepting the warehouse, foodtown, food courts and cafes were closed...alas, i snuck around in front of noel leeming to try to get a look of cameras on display....i just managed to look like a sneaky thief (who was planning to rob a shop at 530 in the afternoon, and being blatant at it)....
here i feel the need of cameras...when i have it, it was stuck unused in the drawer...when i don't have it, i desperately feel that i want to snap all things possible to record each second of my life...i think there is a saying for this...does it go something like this 'when u have it, u forget it, when u lose it, u remember it'?or something akin to that anyway...i want a camera!i wish i have a sugardaddy to buy me one now at a snap of my fingers!
Monday, March 23, 2009
switch the *iatch on!aye aye captain!
i kept wanting to write about this issue (not an issue, really, just some random thoughts) that kept replaying in my mind...this thought is so incessant and the funniest part is that it kept popping in my head during my showers...yup...when everyone thinks of body parts that need thorough scrubbing and cleaning up, i think of other non-body-parts things...i always have this internal monologue (the benefit of learning literature in college, i can spout stuff, not that i appreciate it then) and debates...my monologue is vicious and it's kind of similar to my writings here...it's the truth, in-your-face style, and it differs miles wide from my normal conversational tone and topics...
this was initially pointed out to me by a friend when i commented on reading someone else's blog (and how difficult for me to understand her tone and path of thinking, me the slowpoke)...she said 'ah, but then ur blog doesn't really reflects the way u talk everyday, doesn't it?it's more like sentences that u thought of carefully and structured so that u make as less possible mistakes...u don't usually say things the way u said it on ur blog'...
thanks...that's quite clear and i know she meant well... it's a constructive criticism (or maybe just a comment, not to correct anything but just to clear the air)...i mean, i have this deathly phobia against the thought of others thinking that i'm illiterate (barely understood grammar and sentence structures, not that i'm a grammatist, err....does that word even exist?)...i'll make sure i try (emphasis on the word 'try' here) to re-read my post and edited undesirable parts (such as weird grammar and weirder sentences)...but in the end, i'm pretty sure i'm true to myself as this is actually the way i think...
i may not say things the way i say it here but i'm 338%ly sure (number chosen randomly, don't panic!) that i think this way...u know when u have things running in ur head and u r more truthful and frank...i'm not a naturally frank person...i hate the thought of hurting others' feeling (though i'm pretty sure i hurt people a lot, intentional or not)....anyway, deviation of topic aside, i like this like this (the way i'm writing now)...a bit cynism (truly?) and a dash of sarcasm (get it?) never hurt anyone right?
anyway, i love writing on what i currently thinking about...it may not be crucial enough to change the world economy or politics but it's what i think...i'm not defensive or apologetic of this...i love writing about random things that run through my head (usually this starts off with things i think about in yes, the shower)...it's my form of therapy...it's like when i think, i switch off my 'outside yes-girl, doormat, play-nice persona' and switch on my 'yo-go-crazy-u-*iatch!' mode...kudos to inner switches!love them!i got tons working through my brain synapses!
this was initially pointed out to me by a friend when i commented on reading someone else's blog (and how difficult for me to understand her tone and path of thinking, me the slowpoke)...she said 'ah, but then ur blog doesn't really reflects the way u talk everyday, doesn't it?it's more like sentences that u thought of carefully and structured so that u make as less possible mistakes...u don't usually say things the way u said it on ur blog'...
thanks...that's quite clear and i know she meant well... it's a constructive criticism (or maybe just a comment, not to correct anything but just to clear the air)...i mean, i have this deathly phobia against the thought of others thinking that i'm illiterate (barely understood grammar and sentence structures, not that i'm a grammatist, err....does that word even exist?)...i'll make sure i try (emphasis on the word 'try' here) to re-read my post and edited undesirable parts (such as weird grammar and weirder sentences)...but in the end, i'm pretty sure i'm true to myself as this is actually the way i think...
i may not say things the way i say it here but i'm 338%ly sure (number chosen randomly, don't panic!) that i think this way...u know when u have things running in ur head and u r more truthful and frank...i'm not a naturally frank person...i hate the thought of hurting others' feeling (though i'm pretty sure i hurt people a lot, intentional or not)....anyway, deviation of topic aside, i like this like this (the way i'm writing now)...a bit cynism (truly?) and a dash of sarcasm (get it?) never hurt anyone right?
anyway, i love writing on what i currently thinking about...it may not be crucial enough to change the world economy or politics but it's what i think...i'm not defensive or apologetic of this...i love writing about random things that run through my head (usually this starts off with things i think about in yes, the shower)...it's my form of therapy...it's like when i think, i switch off my 'outside yes-girl, doormat, play-nice persona' and switch on my 'yo-go-crazy-u-*iatch!' mode...kudos to inner switches!love them!i got tons working through my brain synapses!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
spring cleaning!
it's time again to turn everything upside down and clean clean clean!not to mention arrange...i was moving to a new apartment in the same building (the one i was initially promised!)...as usual (usually for me, unusual for all of my gentle readers), i have the burning need to make sure all of my stuff are hidden and arranged really properly...yes, i was a major obsessive compulsive addict...it's not as bad as before though...what can i say?i need everything to be where it's supposed to be (at least on my head)....
i got like this major assignment that i need to hand in yesterday but what did i do?pour every one of my stuff out of it's box into the middle of the floor and start doing the 'routine'...i have this routine of choosing, chucking and ordering...it's a process of taking one thing out of the ginormous pile (it's gigantic + enormous), deciding whether to throw it away or for keep and putting it in it's proper place and order...i hate clutter everywhere!so yup, i also start cleaning and organising my living hall and pantry...what do u feel of washing tons of kitchenware aka plates, tea plates, bowls, teacups, teacup saucers, mugs, and assorted cutlery?yup that equals to exhaustion!
but did i stop there?noooooo...i have this urgent need to clear up my living hall so i clear up stuff from boxes and arrange all of my flatmates' food into various drawers...so now, we have a nice, clear, usable pantry...did u see the word usable?ah, now all of us can use the pantry!before that it looked like a dustbin!u know stuff thrown everywhere and u can find nothing from the pile?now i can feel all of my muscles and tendons aching...my back hurts like no tomorrow!i wish i can sleep the day away!
alas, needs force me to move my butt and do things...it's not even spring!it's summer/winter and cleaning up is my middle name...i feel frustrated when things are not where they are...i even feel more frustrated when i couldn't find my converters (i have tons!but i can only find 1!!!!) and prayer mat and other stuff that i'm sure they're there in the box but lost somewhere withing this jungle that was my floor...
now need to sign off to cry...wishing my stuff will turn up magically...wuahhhhh....
i got like this major assignment that i need to hand in yesterday but what did i do?pour every one of my stuff out of it's box into the middle of the floor and start doing the 'routine'...i have this routine of choosing, chucking and ordering...it's a process of taking one thing out of the ginormous pile (it's gigantic + enormous), deciding whether to throw it away or for keep and putting it in it's proper place and order...i hate clutter everywhere!so yup, i also start cleaning and organising my living hall and pantry...what do u feel of washing tons of kitchenware aka plates, tea plates, bowls, teacups, teacup saucers, mugs, and assorted cutlery?yup that equals to exhaustion!
but did i stop there?noooooo...i have this urgent need to clear up my living hall so i clear up stuff from boxes and arrange all of my flatmates' food into various drawers...so now, we have a nice, clear, usable pantry...did u see the word usable?ah, now all of us can use the pantry!before that it looked like a dustbin!u know stuff thrown everywhere and u can find nothing from the pile?now i can feel all of my muscles and tendons aching...my back hurts like no tomorrow!i wish i can sleep the day away!
alas, needs force me to move my butt and do things...it's not even spring!it's summer/winter and cleaning up is my middle name...i feel frustrated when things are not where they are...i even feel more frustrated when i couldn't find my converters (i have tons!but i can only find 1!!!!) and prayer mat and other stuff that i'm sure they're there in the box but lost somewhere withing this jungle that was my floor...
now need to sign off to cry...wishing my stuff will turn up magically...wuahhhhh....
Monday, March 16, 2009
endless search...
....for the ultimate truth....NOT!the thing is, i'm at the end of my tether...i really desperately need to find black bean paste to make jjajangmyun and i promised rachel and evie (and trying to surprise and impress meghna by my cooking brilliance) this friday...i already did enough research for a lifetime on 'how to make an authentic jjajangmyun' (not that jjajangmyun itself is authentic, it's originally a chinese black bean noodle dish; jjajang being salty black bean paste and myun meaning noodle)...that includes raiding countless blogs, recipe sites and videos and podcast...ah i'll stick to the name jjajangmyun rather than black bean noodle...to me 'jjajangmyun' sounds more yummy...blame this on korean dramas and movies...a bowl of jjajangmyun eaten by one of the characters can reliably drive rachel and i crazy with longing....that said, i have scoured tai ping asian supermarket's (free advertisement for tai ping, they should pay me) shelves 3 times comprehensively but still coming out with nada...i feel like shouting to the ceiling 'where's the damned black bean paste!!!!'...now i think i need to do another finding mission at lim chorr asian supermarket (another party that need to pay me)...if i still couldn't find it...i'll steal from one of my korean friends...i'll secretly sneak in their house when they're at class and steal their jjajang!!!!musing to self-'maybe i should start with jae's apartment...hers is closer to my place...next will be...'...
anyway, i have to think of something else to serve rachel this friday as an alternative...nasi lemak perhaps?something else???my brain is fried!can't think of anything!!!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
sweet dreams
when i feel bored and think (notice it's not absolute but more like 'thinking') that i have nothing to do (when i do have tons of assignments to start and millions of readings to do), i will jump back into bed and doze off....well, this is especially true during weekends...i hate to bother my friends, to ask them go hang out somewhere coz i know they'll be super busy (unlike me, time-waster)...so i'm plagued by weird day dreams (the faulty of self-indulgence)...
me being a blabbermouth would love to share my dreams (today's anyhow, since it's still crisp and fresh)...my dream is kind of disjointed (being unable to remember correctly and coherently)...i remember one part about this new girl who is moving to the last room in our apartment...she came while i was in the shower...one of the weirdest part was she didn't even have a key but she came into my shower and start babbling about moving in....then she (or her aunt or someone whom i have absolutely no idea of) started to vacuum her room...our new vacuum didn't need a vacuum bag (it got this huge space for dirt) but she kept it open so all the dirt vacuumed went in thousands directions...then there was something about chocolate and stuff...okay...my dreams are getting blurry....i don't even remember what really happened...
but day dreams leave me strong impressions...usually i dream about things that i have on mind at that particular moment...for an example, when i am longing for home (being a baby myself, not in age but in mind), i dream about going home with jumble of weirdest stuff....these dreams leave me feeling bemused...i feel disorientated...kind of feeling deja vu but not like it's going to happen anytime in the future (hey u don't want ur dad to start favouring hawaiian shirt, 'fashionable' as it is in hawaii, as per my dream)...
anyway, i should start to focus on my studies...not analysing my dreams (fun as that may be)...okay...study!!!
me being a blabbermouth would love to share my dreams (today's anyhow, since it's still crisp and fresh)...my dream is kind of disjointed (being unable to remember correctly and coherently)...i remember one part about this new girl who is moving to the last room in our apartment...she came while i was in the shower...one of the weirdest part was she didn't even have a key but she came into my shower and start babbling about moving in....then she (or her aunt or someone whom i have absolutely no idea of) started to vacuum her room...our new vacuum didn't need a vacuum bag (it got this huge space for dirt) but she kept it open so all the dirt vacuumed went in thousands directions...then there was something about chocolate and stuff...okay...my dreams are getting blurry....i don't even remember what really happened...
but day dreams leave me strong impressions...usually i dream about things that i have on mind at that particular moment...for an example, when i am longing for home (being a baby myself, not in age but in mind), i dream about going home with jumble of weirdest stuff....these dreams leave me feeling bemused...i feel disorientated...kind of feeling deja vu but not like it's going to happen anytime in the future (hey u don't want ur dad to start favouring hawaiian shirt, 'fashionable' as it is in hawaii, as per my dream)...
anyway, i should start to focus on my studies...not analysing my dreams (fun as that may be)...okay...study!!!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
excuses, excuses
i'm a doormat...i admit it...i can't screw up my little-as-it-is courage and say 'no' to people...well i can but i usually mask my refusal with smiles and thousands of 'well, i got to finish up some bla bla bla paper today...sooo...' (aka excuses)....i feel bad but then again, it's better than outright 'NO!I HATE YOU SO I'M AVOIDING YOUR UGLY MUG ON PURPOSE, YOU MORON!'...
what is the best way to refuse someone or something without hurting their feelings?i admit my strategies work most of the time...strategies like pleading temporary amnesia due to extreme distress, my favourite blouse is burned through when i iron it for your party, i'm waiting for a very important call from my lecturer (at 10 pm at night on saturday) and so on can only work so much...after 3 successive refusals and avoidance, i must be more creative in new way of excusing myself...
i sound tiresome (and some even stop inviting me for things, not that i usually minded, u have ur own stuff and i have mine...fine?)...but really...i'm not super rich...i need to count my pennies for every occasion...things like expenses and budget may sound boring to u but my life is ruled by it (what does it say when ur life is ruled by money?harley the gold-digger?hahaha)...until i become mega rich (or marry an old doddering millionaire, in my dreams), i can't afford to go to thai chilli every friday night for friends' chilling night out...i can't fork out 17 bucks every time someone wants to hang out on a nice sunday afternoon on one of my favourite mussel platters at occidental bar at vulcan lane tho' i would dearly love to...i can't spend 5 dollars on my dearly beloved taro milk pudding drink at hulu cat...things like these are novelties to me...
i spend when i deem neccessary...i spend for my friends b-day dinner...i spend when someone is going somewhere...i spend when someone needs a sympathetic ear...i spend when i feel like it...i hate crowds...i'm not a crowd person...the bigger the group is, the more reluctant i am to join the conversation...so don't be surprised if u tell me u have invited 20 people for our dinner date and i will magically come up with some stupid excuse to bail coz yup, i prefer a smaller group...the more intimate it is, the better...i can't concentrate when all 20 people are talking simultaneously and it is more likely that you are making conversation with only the 4 people sitting near you rather than all of them...not that it's wrong or anything...but i'd love to learn more abt people or catch up...if u are in such a big crowd, u can feel so alone and left out...i don't mind occassional crowd meetings, but every week?not my cuppa tea...
invite me for a private tête-à-tête, i'll definitely be the first to be there!if you plan to invite the whole busload of people, then have fun!i'll be eagerly reading romance at home, awaiting for ur story of the gathering!^^
p/s: aren't the first paragraph and the rest contradict one another?ah...try to make sense it them...if ever...hahaha...my thought process jumps from one thing to another....
what is the best way to refuse someone or something without hurting their feelings?i admit my strategies work most of the time...strategies like pleading temporary amnesia due to extreme distress, my favourite blouse is burned through when i iron it for your party, i'm waiting for a very important call from my lecturer (at 10 pm at night on saturday) and so on can only work so much...after 3 successive refusals and avoidance, i must be more creative in new way of excusing myself...
i sound tiresome (and some even stop inviting me for things, not that i usually minded, u have ur own stuff and i have mine...fine?)...but really...i'm not super rich...i need to count my pennies for every occasion...things like expenses and budget may sound boring to u but my life is ruled by it (what does it say when ur life is ruled by money?harley the gold-digger?hahaha)...until i become mega rich (or marry an old doddering millionaire, in my dreams), i can't afford to go to thai chilli every friday night for friends' chilling night out...i can't fork out 17 bucks every time someone wants to hang out on a nice sunday afternoon on one of my favourite mussel platters at occidental bar at vulcan lane tho' i would dearly love to...i can't spend 5 dollars on my dearly beloved taro milk pudding drink at hulu cat...things like these are novelties to me...
i spend when i deem neccessary...i spend for my friends b-day dinner...i spend when someone is going somewhere...i spend when someone needs a sympathetic ear...i spend when i feel like it...i hate crowds...i'm not a crowd person...the bigger the group is, the more reluctant i am to join the conversation...so don't be surprised if u tell me u have invited 20 people for our dinner date and i will magically come up with some stupid excuse to bail coz yup, i prefer a smaller group...the more intimate it is, the better...i can't concentrate when all 20 people are talking simultaneously and it is more likely that you are making conversation with only the 4 people sitting near you rather than all of them...not that it's wrong or anything...but i'd love to learn more abt people or catch up...if u are in such a big crowd, u can feel so alone and left out...i don't mind occassional crowd meetings, but every week?not my cuppa tea...
invite me for a private tête-à-tête, i'll definitely be the first to be there!if you plan to invite the whole busload of people, then have fun!i'll be eagerly reading romance at home, awaiting for ur story of the gathering!^^
p/s: aren't the first paragraph and the rest contradict one another?ah...try to make sense it them...if ever...hahaha...my thought process jumps from one thing to another....
tuna attack!
tuna sandwich is taking over my mind and body!!!!ah whenever i think of the word 'tuna' and 'sandwich' together, i can feel bile rising and threatening to be vomited out...slight exaggeration here as i still put tuna sandwich as my all-time-favourite...but too much tuna sandwich (make it minimum one sandwich per day for minimum 2 weeks) can even make a stalwart tummy to revolt...my tummy is one of the strongest out there...hey i can eat a 2-weeks past expiry date bread and still be fine as a fiddle....i can still gorge on bad seafood and still be standing happily doing whatever i'm doing...but now, eating another tuna sandwich makes me feel like i need to go and sit in front of britomart, holding a big banner of 'need food!please feed me or i die...but NO TUNA SANDWICH please (or anything remotely resembles tuna sandwich and its associates)!!!'....
alas, we are living in an imperfect world...i'm not that desperate (yet) to go abegging for food...don't pity me (just feed me)...i need to be more creative in finding cheaper food alternatives than tuna sandwich...it's too dry for my troat and i need something wetter (why does that sounds kinky?)....i need to start cooking (my brand of personal therapy...i can chop viciously to vent my spleen and no one dies except for the poor whatever i'm chopping or my wrist)...i can imagine me cooking jjajangmyun (yup, korean drama's influence)...or nasi lemak (ah the wonder of nasi lemak can make to my desposition)...or my special speghetti aglio olio (my absolute favourite!it's really easy to make and tres tres delicious!)....
to end this lament on tuna sandwich and cooking (yup yup harley does know when to shut it...or at least starting to learn how to), i'm going to set all of ur hearts aflutter with an announcement (background sound effect - jeng je jeng!!!):
my next post will be on how to make my super-duper great speghetti aglio olio!!!!i'll even try to be generous and giving by posting a picture of the process (most probably the finished product as it can get messy...no need to purposely turn off the possible-hubbies out there)....so all of fair maidens out there, stay tune to get the goods!learn to cook to conquer the hearts of all gentlemen (or at least their bellies)!!!
btw, the picture of that scrumptious sandwich is supplied through a thorough (okay like 10 seconds of hitting some buttons and pressing enter) research online...it is supposed to be a tuna sandwich but it may be some other sandwich (ham, chicken or other chi chi sandwiches)...i take full license of copying and uploading the pic (stealing is bad but this is not a research literature...i'm not going to submit this on turnitin.com so yeah, enjoy the view while it last, and pls don't sue me!)...
alas, we are living in an imperfect world...i'm not that desperate (yet) to go abegging for food...don't pity me (just feed me)...i need to be more creative in finding cheaper food alternatives than tuna sandwich...it's too dry for my troat and i need something wetter (why does that sounds kinky?)....i need to start cooking (my brand of personal therapy...i can chop viciously to vent my spleen and no one dies except for the poor whatever i'm chopping or my wrist)...i can imagine me cooking jjajangmyun (yup, korean drama's influence)...or nasi lemak (ah the wonder of nasi lemak can make to my desposition)...or my special speghetti aglio olio (my absolute favourite!it's really easy to make and tres tres delicious!)....to end this lament on tuna sandwich and cooking (yup yup harley does know when to shut it...or at least starting to learn how to), i'm going to set all of ur hearts aflutter with an announcement (background sound effect - jeng je jeng!!!):
my next post will be on how to make my super-duper great speghetti aglio olio!!!!i'll even try to be generous and giving by posting a picture of the process (most probably the finished product as it can get messy...no need to purposely turn off the possible-hubbies out there)....so all of fair maidens out there, stay tune to get the goods!learn to cook to conquer the hearts of all gentlemen (or at least their bellies)!!!
btw, the picture of that scrumptious sandwich is supplied through a thorough (okay like 10 seconds of hitting some buttons and pressing enter) research online...it is supposed to be a tuna sandwich but it may be some other sandwich (ham, chicken or other chi chi sandwiches)...i take full license of copying and uploading the pic (stealing is bad but this is not a research literature...i'm not going to submit this on turnitin.com so yeah, enjoy the view while it last, and pls don't sue me!)...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
yes and no
can a thing be true while the contrast holds true too?i think i'm twisting my words here...i was reading this something (i should stop this awww-shucks-i'm-embarrassed-but-not love/hate relationship with romance) and it made me think...well, can i be shy and extrovert simultanously?solid proof here: ME.i am truly shy...i think too much of what people may percieve me as that i turn craven when approaching strangers...it's not an exaggeration...i have to string some sentences, do a what-if analysis, prepare some emergency reactions and responses and do a mental checklist of things-to-say-and-not-to-say in my head in preparation to saying hi to the person who has been sitting next to me for half of an hour in class...how pathetic i sound...but then again i'm pretty sure there are some people out there who suffer this affliction...the trick is - keep on going no matter what!i survive (and still is) this human jungle so i know those little-miss-mr-shy out there should stand together and be strong (a bit whatever-just-move-on-already)!
at the same time, i can be too friendly with my incessant chatter...once i've passed that do-or-die gate (introduction to new people 101 test), i can talk a mile a second...or talk someone's ears off...or confuses them with my convoluted conversation...it's a wonder that i can talk about minimum of 20 subjects under 15 minutes (u do the math)....at least that what one of my college mates said to me back then...he got this dazed-wonder look pasted on his face when i stopped for breath...i also know that it is possible for me (too possible) to carry a conversation (one-sided as it is) alone for an hour stretch without losing my momentum from start...
so what does this say about me?i'm a mixture of contradictions?that i'm a very complex person?not so deep as that...merely that i'm human after all...we cannot put ourselves in neat little boxes marked 'chatty' or 'shy' or 'need-to-delete-her-contact-coz-she's-loony' or 'marvelous' (i can go on and on...) and voila! 'i'm all labeled up now, smile my madonna-like smile and be content as a well-fed kitten'...humans are a creature God created to be who we are...so...be prepared to do a lot of fake smiles, give meaningless answer and do mental arithmetic when i'm around!or bring a bag to bash my head when i start to grate on ur delicate nerves!
at the same time, i can be too friendly with my incessant chatter...once i've passed that do-or-die gate (introduction to new people 101 test), i can talk a mile a second...or talk someone's ears off...or confuses them with my convoluted conversation...it's a wonder that i can talk about minimum of 20 subjects under 15 minutes (u do the math)....at least that what one of my college mates said to me back then...he got this dazed-wonder look pasted on his face when i stopped for breath...i also know that it is possible for me (too possible) to carry a conversation (one-sided as it is) alone for an hour stretch without losing my momentum from start...
so what does this say about me?i'm a mixture of contradictions?that i'm a very complex person?not so deep as that...merely that i'm human after all...we cannot put ourselves in neat little boxes marked 'chatty' or 'shy' or 'need-to-delete-her-contact-coz-she's-loony' or 'marvelous' (i can go on and on...) and voila! 'i'm all labeled up now, smile my madonna-like smile and be content as a well-fed kitten'...humans are a creature God created to be who we are...so...be prepared to do a lot of fake smiles, give meaningless answer and do mental arithmetic when i'm around!or bring a bag to bash my head when i start to grate on ur delicate nerves!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
u, me and martha
personalities are funny things...i can definitely say i am not suffering from multiple personalities disorder (or wanky wacko)...depending on how u see it, i can subtly change in front of different people...i contribute this to fitting in concept...i want to fit in with a lot of people...it's not possible unless u r eccentric enough or brazenly courageous to have a fixed personality (at least that's what i believe)...i'm craven enough change like the chameleon in front of different types of people....is that so wrong, really?i'm pretty sure a lot of people out there do the same thing....
it's not that i'm doing it purposely...i'm not manipulative (i am but in this instance it's not a insidious type of manipulation ^^)...it's an automatic reaction...say for example, if i'm in front of a softly spoken person, i will suddenly become less brash and my voice level will be tuned down (believe me i've got the biggest mouth ever, which means noise pollution whenever i speak)....when i'm with my family i become a motormouth, loudspeaker, say-what-ever-i-want-andromeda-is-the-limit kind of person...someone in family said i am a 'laser mouth' (meaning no filtering is done in my gray matter before i spit out something)...i can be hurtful and my temper is legendary within my close kin....
if i'm with someone who's very open to any kind of ideas and types of people, i tend to say weird stuff that others will look in askance...for example (i did some censorship here so u ppl who are under 18 is allowed to venture forth!), i can talk about marital relationship with relish (as if i got an intimate experience)...if i'm with an avid academic (or great reader or a wise person) i can suddenly become more 'intelligent' (depends on how u see it, i believe it so but i may sound like a donkey braying about tree climbing, not that the donkey ever climbs a tree in his miserable life before)...i can talk about books that i've read (no romance please....this time!hahaha)...i can talk about world economy (like i read the newspaper everyday, which i stopped doing years ago)...
when i'm with a religious person, i tend to be more circumspect...no sex talk, madam, no way!i will observe my actions and language (did i tell u i'm getting addicted to the word *uck and bitch now?i'm trying to wean the habit out from my brain)....if i meet someone i have yet to know, i can be really quiet as if i am a cheese brain with nothing to say (or a snob, some may definitely say)...the weirdest thing is i'm very shy to strangers...but once they start talking to me, oh my, i can talk until their ears fall off...
another thing i noticed is my personality change also depends on the way i'm addressing people...say if i address a person with 'i' and 'u' i'll definitely be more carefree and a little bit sophisticated (why, i'm learning to be a real lady here!)...if i'm using 'aku' and 'engkau' or 'ko' (a brash and crude way of address in malay), i'll be brasher in my way of speaking...if i'm using the name basis way of address (like 'harley' for me and 'ur name' for ur name), i'll be gentler and more soft spoken....
how i show my personalities definitely affect my openess with another person...i'm off now...will find new things to think about next (new inspiration!)....
it's not that i'm doing it purposely...i'm not manipulative (i am but in this instance it's not a insidious type of manipulation ^^)...it's an automatic reaction...say for example, if i'm in front of a softly spoken person, i will suddenly become less brash and my voice level will be tuned down (believe me i've got the biggest mouth ever, which means noise pollution whenever i speak)....when i'm with my family i become a motormouth, loudspeaker, say-what-ever-i-want-andromeda-is-the-limit kind of person...someone in family said i am a 'laser mouth' (meaning no filtering is done in my gray matter before i spit out something)...i can be hurtful and my temper is legendary within my close kin....
if i'm with someone who's very open to any kind of ideas and types of people, i tend to say weird stuff that others will look in askance...for example (i did some censorship here so u ppl who are under 18 is allowed to venture forth!), i can talk about marital relationship with relish (as if i got an intimate experience)...if i'm with an avid academic (or great reader or a wise person) i can suddenly become more 'intelligent' (depends on how u see it, i believe it so but i may sound like a donkey braying about tree climbing, not that the donkey ever climbs a tree in his miserable life before)...i can talk about books that i've read (no romance please....this time!hahaha)...i can talk about world economy (like i read the newspaper everyday, which i stopped doing years ago)...
when i'm with a religious person, i tend to be more circumspect...no sex talk, madam, no way!i will observe my actions and language (did i tell u i'm getting addicted to the word *uck and bitch now?i'm trying to wean the habit out from my brain)....if i meet someone i have yet to know, i can be really quiet as if i am a cheese brain with nothing to say (or a snob, some may definitely say)...the weirdest thing is i'm very shy to strangers...but once they start talking to me, oh my, i can talk until their ears fall off...
another thing i noticed is my personality change also depends on the way i'm addressing people...say if i address a person with 'i' and 'u' i'll definitely be more carefree and a little bit sophisticated (why, i'm learning to be a real lady here!)...if i'm using 'aku' and 'engkau' or 'ko' (a brash and crude way of address in malay), i'll be brasher in my way of speaking...if i'm using the name basis way of address (like 'harley' for me and 'ur name' for ur name), i'll be gentler and more soft spoken....
how i show my personalities definitely affect my openess with another person...i'm off now...will find new things to think about next (new inspiration!)....
Saturday, March 7, 2009
jambalaya
as usual after a long session of talking (more like a little bit of discussion, a dash of gossiping, a lot of bitching on my part and censored conversation session), i will always have something to ponder about...firstly, i noticed this habit of saying the word 'bitch' and its derivatives...a lot...i think almost all of my posts got this word, be it bitch, bitching or bitched...not something to be bragged about but i'm bugged nonetheless...is this word fast becoming my new 'chilax' (chill + relax, apparently the new 'cool', not that i know of anything cool, i'm that slow and 'uncool')?got enough of pondering on 'bitch'?yup...let's move the heck on...
secondly, i'm disturbed (more like weirded out) by my endless ability to bitch (is there any other word that i can use???i'm getting desperate!) for hours...i can always find the smallest thing to fault...wait...is this the part where i should self-reflect and turn a new life?nah...i just want to understand where all this bitterness comes from...hehehe...not that i'm bitter in general...it's just that i can safely say that any issue discussed can solely be made worse by me!hahaha...i can add new tidbits for ages to get the conversation going at the hottest level...that's how good (or bad?) i am in fanning the flame...i'm very subtle...yeah sure...can anyone be subtle if u a are bitching another person?not really...
thirdly, did i mention i love to talk (this blog and the length of a post are the proof and testament of my talkativeness)?well i can basically talk about anything under the sun...so why is this useless piece of information got to do with anything?this is one of the result of my self-reflection (short as it is, probably about 1 minute after i sat on my swivel chair and think of something to write on here), i felt like what i think of myself doesn't necessarily fit someone else's image of me...i think i'm talkative coz i admit i'm not comfortable with silence...someone may think 'wow...can someone shut this weirdo up...she's talking my ear off!'...another person may think 'wtf!i don't know u and i'm not interested in ur pimples!get a life!'....translated as 'u r annoying me so wire ur mouth shut'...what about my other personalities that i see very positively...such as helpfulness (ah not that i'm thaaat helpful, it's a mood thing) percieved as busybody-ness (new dictionary of harley)...and other things i'm pretty sure u can think of from someone u really can't stand...
in the end, am i that bad or any good?i can tell coz it's what others think of me...do i lose sleep over it (as in because of what other people think)?probably sometimes but not all the time (i should at least care sometimes rather that taking the 'whatever' way of life, right?)...people matters...i can't be my own island (but i can safely say i'll enjoy my own island...doing whatnot hohoho)...
lastly, do u like my titles?hehehe...i love using weird titles...did it catch ur attention?good!does this post fulfill ur every need?of course not!this is not a miss fix-it life answering column...i'm nowhere near that angelic...my opinions may not be acceptable by many (may not be important by anyone at all)....does this post fit its bizzarre title?hahaha...it is a mixture of many things...
secondly, i'm disturbed (more like weirded out) by my endless ability to bitch (is there any other word that i can use???i'm getting desperate!) for hours...i can always find the smallest thing to fault...wait...is this the part where i should self-reflect and turn a new life?nah...i just want to understand where all this bitterness comes from...hehehe...not that i'm bitter in general...it's just that i can safely say that any issue discussed can solely be made worse by me!hahaha...i can add new tidbits for ages to get the conversation going at the hottest level...that's how good (or bad?) i am in fanning the flame...i'm very subtle...yeah sure...can anyone be subtle if u a are bitching another person?not really...
thirdly, did i mention i love to talk (this blog and the length of a post are the proof and testament of my talkativeness)?well i can basically talk about anything under the sun...so why is this useless piece of information got to do with anything?this is one of the result of my self-reflection (short as it is, probably about 1 minute after i sat on my swivel chair and think of something to write on here), i felt like what i think of myself doesn't necessarily fit someone else's image of me...i think i'm talkative coz i admit i'm not comfortable with silence...someone may think 'wow...can someone shut this weirdo up...she's talking my ear off!'...another person may think 'wtf!i don't know u and i'm not interested in ur pimples!get a life!'....translated as 'u r annoying me so wire ur mouth shut'...what about my other personalities that i see very positively...such as helpfulness (ah not that i'm thaaat helpful, it's a mood thing) percieved as busybody-ness (new dictionary of harley)...and other things i'm pretty sure u can think of from someone u really can't stand...
in the end, am i that bad or any good?i can tell coz it's what others think of me...do i lose sleep over it (as in because of what other people think)?probably sometimes but not all the time (i should at least care sometimes rather that taking the 'whatever' way of life, right?)...people matters...i can't be my own island (but i can safely say i'll enjoy my own island...doing whatnot hohoho)...
lastly, do u like my titles?hehehe...i love using weird titles...did it catch ur attention?good!does this post fulfill ur every need?of course not!this is not a miss fix-it life answering column...i'm nowhere near that angelic...my opinions may not be acceptable by many (may not be important by anyone at all)....does this post fit its bizzarre title?hahaha...it is a mixture of many things...
Friday, March 6, 2009
world without broadband
means world without internet...this past week i have learned a basic lesson for an internet addict: i would go stir crazy without it...internet is my left arm, my ebook reader and my lover rolled into one...
here were some things i did to fill up my time without broadband:
ah the list can go on and on...on the other note that has nothing to do with internet and broadband, i noticed i always have some sort of remarks at the end of my sentences...why?just thoughts that don't fit anywhere...hey it's my blog...it's my license to talk and talk and talk...anyway back to the modern world of virtual communication...now that i'm plugged on to a fast connection, as usual, i start downloading...dramas n such...is this important?no...but well, i'm in a mellow mood so i want to share...hahahaha...
here were some things i did to fill up my time without broadband:
- trying my very best to push overzealous students at kate edgar for a computer (being overzelous myself is justified, i was desperate, they were not)
- waited for 30 minutes to log on to my yahoo email...and usually still unable to log on...
- desperately doing stuff like moving in the rest of my stuff from storage and columbia to railway (yes i'm here already, loving all the space but hungry for food)
- going from grafton to railway in a day (back and forth, walking)
- braving the weird auckland weather to go to kate edgar
- did i already mentioned that i was attached to the hip of kate edgar?
- studiously reading my lecture notes and some research papers related (not a fond fan of continuous study; look what boredom has lead me to)
- calling home and bitch about mutual family members with jaja...for an hour and half!(rare for a species like me to call for that long)
- start texting other people around about stupidest things (hey i got TXT2000!now i'm fully utilising a service that i paid good money for!)
- thinking about food all the time (still is)
- sleep early (miracle)
- waking up barely on time (another miracle to be thankful for)
- stalking my uniguides (i'm turning into a professional stalker)
ah the list can go on and on...on the other note that has nothing to do with internet and broadband, i noticed i always have some sort of remarks at the end of my sentences...why?just thoughts that don't fit anywhere...hey it's my blog...it's my license to talk and talk and talk...anyway back to the modern world of virtual communication...now that i'm plugged on to a fast connection, as usual, i start downloading...dramas n such...is this important?no...but well, i'm in a mellow mood so i want to share...hahahaha...
Sunday, March 1, 2009
good gracious me!
is there any gracious way to accept criticism?i admit i'm not one who gladly swallows criticism, be it building criticism or otherwise...should i say 'thank you' after a tirade of things i do wrong?should i smile and tell them that i'll do my best in the future?yup...that should be it...be graceful about it...riggghhhttt...as if...i can act as well as the next person...be gracious?i do it so well that no one knows what thoughts run in my mind...these thoughts, they are not so kind...hehehe...
anyway, no one forces you to read this...if u are bored, stop reading...if u hate me, then feel free to do so...if u feel that i made a lot of grammatical mistakes (or phrasing mistakes, or any sort of precieved mistakes), then let it be...this is a blog...not a piece of literature, even if i do think so...my writings and ramblings won't change the world...but it does make me happy...
conclusively, i'm done venting my spleen...need to plant happy thoughts now...butterflies and flowers and babies smiling gummily....right....hahahaha....
anyway, no one forces you to read this...if u are bored, stop reading...if u hate me, then feel free to do so...if u feel that i made a lot of grammatical mistakes (or phrasing mistakes, or any sort of precieved mistakes), then let it be...this is a blog...not a piece of literature, even if i do think so...my writings and ramblings won't change the world...but it does make me happy...
conclusively, i'm done venting my spleen...need to plant happy thoughts now...butterflies and flowers and babies smiling gummily....right....hahahaha....
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