Long Long Time

It's been a while now. My life is going on fast forward, I have got no time for anything else T_T I haven't talked or went out with my friends. I barely see my parents (other than in the morning before class or evening if I'm not closed up in my room). I have so much to say, but so little time to say it. However, here I am, stealing some time to say what I have in mind nowadays. Things I need to get off my chest:

• I have this ambivalent feeling towards OSCE. One of my 'patients' was this young guy who's totally cute, so I was like 'Oh my, this guy is sooooooooo cute'. That took 1 minute of the required 5 minutes  >.< This reminds me of one of the doctors who taught me clinical skills in UoA who was the twin of David Beckham (with a New Zealand accent). He's like a dream that'll never fade. Another 'patient' was one of my lecturer, actually there were 2 of them in different stations, but history-taking was never a breeze, add that to a poker-faced lecturer who barked 'What do you mean doctor? Aren't you supposed to do the asking since that's why I came to see you in the first place?'. I literally die. Die, I tell you. And I lost it when I went blank after I saw the words 'Leukonychia', 'Finger Clubbing' and 'Cyanosis'. Scratch the last part, 'Peripheral Cyanosis'. It's one of those days.
• I know I promised so many things that I've never actually kept. I don't know what to say to that.
• I cried when I heard the song by The Band Perry - If I Die Young. I bawled my eyes out actually. I repeat, I have a long understanding with sad melancholic type of songs. We agree to 'adhere' to each other. 
• I will never be a mediator. I'll be the first one hitting anyone who got on my nerves.
• I'm frustrated that I'm falling back into teenage-hood in terms of wanting to win stupid radio contests.
• I had a very bad news earlier this week that I couldn't take properly that I literally shut down for a few hours.
• It's official I'm a bad friend. I feel so sorry to Pink. I really really want to see her but 1. I actually really have no money (so I couldn't actually go out). 2. I have no car of my own, add that to no money, how would I even gas up if I borrow my Baba's car? 3. I'm so ashamed by my behaviour, I don't know how to face Pink >.< 4. Now that I'm going full tilt, my life consists of only 2 parts, daytime for classes, nighttime for assignments. I miss Pink. I feel sorry for her. I am really sorry. I cannot even begin to express how sorry I am.
• This is getting longer, it's turning into a nightmare of a post. Bye.