this one

i can be such a bitch when i'm provoked *sigh*.....let's move on to a lighter topic....anyway, what is the book that hooked me up into reading?...interesting question...this book, this one...sadly i don't actually remember...all i remember is i can never stop reading, even if it's a street or shop's sign...i remember that well...when i was small (i think i was 4 or 5) i read all of the signs of the street and shops along the streets when i was in the car...not reading just bores me...


i need to at least read something...it's like an addiction to me...wanna know a secret?...i'm such an avid reader that when i am in the uhmm washroom to do uhmm my uhmm u-know-what i tend to read the shampoo or body wash's labels...that's how bad i am...on a flight, especially a long 11 hours flight, i'll make sure i have a minimum of 10 ebooks in my ebook reader...i just CAN NOT NOT READ...get it?...


i grew up reading literatures like jane austen (no surprise that pride and prejudice is my absolute favourite!!!) and loisa may alcott (little women, need me to say more?) to biographies of jackie-0 and a lot of other 'serious' books...i love them...i also never used to miss reading a day's paper, especially the star (also my favourite, just ask put)....nowadays, i stick to romance...it's fun, easy to read and easy for the mind...i can't say when's the last time i read a serious book...i think it was high school...i was introduced to romance when i was in college and from there, i can't stop reading it (can u imagine?...such a great genre and i only got to know all about it in college????)....


why college (18 years of age) u may ask?...well...when i went to a bookstore, i tended to go to fiction or chick lit or non-fic sections...never seemed to stop at the romance section...don't know why when i think about it....nowadays it's the romance section, that's it...i think i should start reading other genres back...just to enrich my mind...hahahahaha....well.....we'll just have to wait and see, don't we?


p/s: if u even think i'm not that serious about reading, have u ever read vladimir nabokov's lolita before?....yup i did...it was great...but mind numbing i tell u...i was 14 i think when i read that...i was shocked out of my innocence i tell u...if u still don't believe how serious i am about reading, try reading lolita and tell me....

commitment

this is one issue that i expound on so many times, my intimates know so well, they know they'll never win...commitment to me means loyalty and especially fidelity...god knows i've never even have one non-serious relationship to the male species, let alone a serious one...but...i'm strict on one thing...fidelity...if u have a wandering pair of eyes, walk away...if u don't know how to respect ur other half, marry a cat instead...if u ever, ever think that, yeah, this is the new world, divorce is easy...or worse, muslim men out there, yes u can have 4 wives...if u ever indeed think that it is legal and all set up right and tight to fill the other 3-wives quota, sayonara from the get-go mister...


i don't understand half of the male population (maybe more, well who's counting?)...not that i'm saying there is no bitches out there who love other women's men...i've seen it myself...some women are just pure poison...they don't care if they wreck a marriage...they just don't freaking care...that's another topic for another day...anyway, most of us are aware that men are led by their thinking organ, their **ck (aka definitely not the brain)...that's fine...but what makes it bad is when they actually act on that...


i've personally seen my own family members (pay attention to this part), male family members (again, pay attention of the 's' at the end of the word 'member'), hurt the ones they are committed to...the worse part is, not only they hurt the wives, they also hurt the children...the children are very close to the mother....especially the young girls...seeing their mother being hurt by their own father's unfaithfulness, they are forced to choose side...not that the mother ever intentionally do that but when u see it with ur own eyes, u kinda have to...i was there when this person brought his 'other woman' around, telling and shushing us, the children, to keep it a 'little secret' from everyone else...but come on!!!...we live in such a small town...words get around...and that bitch...she ended up marrying her close friend's husband...and that family member of mine...don't let me start on him...


how can u respect that kind of man?...no matter how much older he is, i can't seem to respect him...there's just no respect in my mind, even though i do show the manifestation of respect, just to keep the family peace...he is just not someone to look up to...doesn't he even realize that the same thing may happen to his own daughters?...does he want that?...wait....he just doesn't think, sadly....his brain's little things called neurons are just not interconnecting and processing the word 'fidelity', 'loyalty', 'commitment', 'faithfulness' into what they are supposed to mean...


to round this up, i repeat, i am not in a relationship and i am very well aware i don't know the feeling...but...i have eyes and ears...i also think...i don't ever ever want to be in a position to know that my husband has an affair or a second (or god forbid third and fourth) wife/s...i am not a martyr and i definitely know that my husband is and will never be a prophet (who could marry more since they are the prophets and they know how to be fair and all that), so quit the crap about what the inscription the Al-Quran stated about allowing men to have more than one wife...i know they are allowed to but how deep is their depth of knowledge in the whole topic of Islam and marriage...when a man really understands and practices what he knows about these two important aspects of polygamy, then he is allowed to...before that, cut the whole 'i'm allowed' bullshit and straighten ur brain first...


p/s: this is not a statement against the prophets or Al-Quran...i totally agree with the Quran but i don't agree with the men who want to practice polygamy....coz i'm pretty sure if these men are quizzed about polygamy, 99.9999999% of the time they fail the first question....that, to wrap things up means they know almost nada...usually men who really understand about Islamic knowledge of marriage and polygamy won't even practice it coz they know they will fail one of the golden rules, the rule of 'fairness'....and to be fair there are good men out there...it's just these rotten ones are tainting the whole bowl of milk, u know what i mean...

today

knowledge is a dangerous thing sometimes...i am aware about a few things about myself that are not good but alas will continue to be part of myself...for now...i am:

• master of avoidance and ignorance and diversion....that's all i will say for now...
• listening to 'nsync...that itself is indicative of serious mental issue and i am in need of serious help...
• doing some serious moves with 'nysnc's 'i want u back'....
• hooked to 'the good wife' for now...feel like bashing peter's head...hate hate hate infidelity!
• in need of new perfumes and shoes...now!
• going shopping with mama and alin tomorrow!!...mcD here i come!

that's it for today folks...my fingers are in need of rest...

tagging

do u understand how bad tagging can be?...do u really?...understand???....i'm not talking about the game of tag or tagging ur clothes...it's facebook tagging of pictures...there is a reason why tagging can be good...okay a couple of reasons...

the reasons of beneficial tagging:

1. when someone else has a picture that u really want but don't have...like when u go to dinners or parties and someone took pictures of u and u lost track of who these persons are...they nicely tag ur pictures so u can have a copy for posterity....
2. when u feel like u don't exist in this universe and u want to reaffirm ur existence...in other words, tagging makes u happy just simply coz someone knows u and is kind enough to tag u on facebook

downside of tagging:

1. when u hate ur picture...this is especially true when the particular picture are pictures of ur butt looking massively big (really really huge, like overinflated balloons) and u are just in those mood to hate that particular anatomy....
2. when someone just put a really unflattering picture of u that u would never in this eternity share with the whole world...wait, this is similar to no. 1 up there...whatever...in that particular picture u may definitely see the zit u are trying to get rid of (u know, that time of the month ladies)...or when it shows ur tree-trunk-like arms...or fat tummy...or fat u...never mind....i've experience this like so many times, i don't even care to untag those pix....just not worth my time...
3. when u want to get lost in this space continuum and be anonymous...some smart-ass decided 'hey, let's put so-and-so on fb and put her back to planet earth'...that **eaking smart-ass...can't blame her though...i love tagging...when i'm in the right mood...
4. when the pictures don't make u look like a million-bucks or a supermodel, more like a loony homeless person, or the super fat person everyone loves to hate...
5. did i mention freaking iditiotic looking picture of u?
6. fat bloated pictures...enough said...
   

well, u get what i mean...tagging is the worst invention of this century...someone should ban it...it's practically illegal!...at least in my state of mind....side note: when it's all said and done, i actually don't really care much about picture tagging...do whatever u want, hey u deserve it...but i just hate those pictures, u know, the ones that make me look like a whale (when i already look like one in real life)...give me a break...give me some semblance of fantasy, at least online...

viral

a lot of things are viral...insidious...easily spread...by word by mouth, text, email, anything....anyway, my sister told me she forced her bf to read my blog...amazing how someone can force someone to do something...are my words that interesting (note to self - give me a satisfying pat in the back)?...this is so embarrassing...i'm doing some self promotion here...


okay, famous last words...i have nothing to say to interest anyone...this is just plain boring...i am boring...i don't have a resemblance of life....the only thing i see these days are my room, my bed, mama's face, jaja's face, alin's face, baba's face, aboy's face, gegel's face, my laptop, my living hall, my mama's kitchen and the restaurants we go to eat every now and then (btw mama - i really really love the nyonya's place and the other restaurant at wangsa walk ^^)....

oldies

my family are lovers of oldies...as in old songs, any old songs...from the 80's to any earlier era...i grow up listening to my dad's favourite songs like lady in red by chris de burgh and so many other songs...jaja especially loves oldies...anyway, mama reminded me of another of my favourite - sad movies (make me cry) by sue thompson while listening to broery marantika and the carpenters yesterday...and that makes me want to share the really really sad song....give it a try...the lyrics are straight-forward and sad...

sue thompson - sad movie (make me cry)

sometimes i can't bear to listen to this song...i don't know...i just feel that this song, as simple as it is, is full of heartbreak...kinda hard, sometimes, to take it in...it has similar ambiance to songs like ray peterson's tell laura i love her...very touching songs...hope u'll appreciate this song like mama and i do ^^

mama in her mood

mama is in a decorating frenzy...she has been buying furniture, knick-knacks, plants and flowers and house fixtures since early november last year...slowly she is throwing away rubbish (well, mummy simply cannot throw things away, not matter how useless and old those things are, so indeed, we have lots of things to throw)....the rubbish is just humongous!!!!!!....anyway, now we have new beds, new study tables, new bathroom fixtures and water heater, new pretty fans, new lights, new study chairs (very very cute!in purple and pink), new air-con unit, more plants and okay the list is just endless....


anyway, on top of all decorating frenzy, she is painting our house...when i came home late november last year, she has done the ground floor and she is currently attacking our rooms and toilet...the result is...we have to smell the horrendous paint fumes...and guess what?...she always always always make sure she paints at night, the time when all of us are busy doing something important in the room....


i am still reeling and feeling light headed from last night's paint fumes when mummy painted our bedroom door (it's really clean pretty white!now we can't differentiate our room door and the wall surrounding it!thanks mama!)...and when we complained, guess what mummy said...'i love the smell of new paint!why don't u guys like it?'...in a puzzled voice....well...we just don't...we get headaches...it's really toxic...mummy u should be wary of the smell!!!!!!!


another moment to remember is the fact that last night's door painting lead to splashing of white paint on jaja's bags...she just split...it's not funny but alas, when i recall back, the moment is simply precious...mama's reaction: 'just wash the bags'....the thing is, it is not washable!!!!


overall, i like our house as it is...it's home...but mama wants to make it prettier...she is still painting and buying and throwing things...well ma, what ever that makes u happy!!!!!in the end, we still love our house, if only our neighbours smelly cats can miraculously disappear somewhat (or the neighbours themselves pretty please?)....won't that be just perfect?

....

god...she is seriously pissed off...i did promise not to write about it...*sigh*....teenage angst and all that...

joyeux anniversaire baby girl!

yes yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the time of the month, ooops, the special time of the year when one's loved ones celebrated the date of one's birth (can i be more lame?)...on this auspicious day (the date will remain a secret due to the fact that i'm pretty sure my baby girl will be royally pissed if i even mentioned a teeny tiny hint of the real date here) i will make a special dedication to my little baby girl...not that she's small anymore...or even a baby...anyway...here u go baby girl!happy ehem something-year birthday baby girl!!!!!!!!!!u r one special baby who aggravates me every moment in my life....


on that special note, it is worth noted that i wished her happy bday about 30 minutes past 12 am on her birthday....she somehow sounded hmm pissed off but not really (since she was on the phone with her reject bf, opps i promised not to say anything about her bf, very touchy subject, that)...moving on, i haven't gotten her a bday present...typical mohd hanif household tradition...not that she has consistently given me any bday present all these years (believe me, it has considerably been years, well my age is a closely guarded secret)...


to end this dedication, i want to make a special note that her bf did gave her a perfect present...the idea of the whole thing is perfect anyway, if not the actual present...he gave her a pair of shoes!...as u may have noted, me being a queen of shoe-whore has bequeathed my shoe-whoredom to my dear sister alin...my baby loves shoes...but........(a long pause to mark a long pondering/reflection session)....the shoes themselves...need more help here, dear boy...here are the shoes (i know i did promised my whole body cell that i wouldn't mention her present or the shoes themselves but i couldn't resist!she is my baby sister!):

well...it's a tad too uhmm matronly-ish for my teenage sister...but it's the thought that matters, non?...what do u think?

2010

so....new year...me?...i have nothing to say....well...except i am more aware that new year denotes another year adding to my requisite age...anyway...moving on...ah...yes...my sister...alin...great news, i know her blog address now...sadly, she knew her sisters are stalkers, the good type (u betcha!) thus she locked it...dang it!...i hate to hack coz it's just to painstalking...hmmm...


ah the year 2010...what does that signify, other than another year in my age notch?....it means new resolution....NOT!!!...that never works...it means i need to get a life (year after year i've been reminding myself of this fact)...anyway...i'm running out of words...i need to mess with my sister and bro real bad...in fact it's an addiction and a craving that is never appeased...okay...now, baby girl and baby boy!here i come!!!!!!!!!!!!!


p/s: no cute furry animals and innocent huge-eyed babies are harmed during this writing.