murder-to-be

what to say to the guy that will be ur first and probably only murder victim (so far)? interesting...upadates coming up soon!...it's me and u against the world, baby! (just throwing in some random statements to make up the lack of content)...

at the cusp of autumn...

poetic enough?...i love autumn somehow...it's cool but not too cold...unlike winter...it opens the vista of the falling leaves...that reminds me of many favourite romance movies and dramas...it signals coming out of autumn wardrobe...all the browns and golds....simply marvelous...here are some pictures taken from the court to kate edger (if u don't know where these places are, just assume like u do):

that lane between the court and that apartment...
yes, that's vague but i don't remember the name huhuhu...
look at the leaves on the floor!...
and the brown and green leaves on the tree :)



the entrance of city campus through the side biology building at the corners of waterloo quadrant, anzec avenue and symond st....
the beautiful evening ray...
the darkening pathway covered myriad of shady trees...
is the anything more peaceful (rhetoric so please don't answer)?...



path not taken...
anyone know that poem?



breath-taking flowers and plants at the side of the buildings...





these babies are adorable, all of them...
now where are we off to?


wait!
make way for some dessert-like plants, ladies...
all green and lush...


last one, the street between the quad and the library....
all silent, bathed in the evening's golden light...
i love this...

baby boy aka aboy aka huzayev

yes, it's time...it's the time of the month...err...no no, not THAT (whatever u r thinking anyway)...it's his time to shine....yes, our pride and joy, our only boy in the family (sorry ba, a male over 20 simply cannot be considered as a boy), our proud achievement of male-dom (okay i'm just dragging on and on here), and our only CHILD of the family...the last part, the part about only CHILD, that has a very deep history...it will never be forgotten, especially when i am officially engraving the whole story here...that one will come soon....

let's first open this auspicious post by introducing our star of the day: baby boy...that will annoy him to no end (my life mission)...he is indeed the only boy of 5 cute siblings (the rest are girls, just in case if u can't count)...and the last...these 2 characteristics make him extra special...he also have huge huge huge doe eyes that no boys should have...they make him look innocent, when is everything EXCEPT innocent (well, i'll never know about THAT will i?...i'm just the poor beleaguered eldest sister)...he loves bugging his ELDEST sister for movies, songs and animes when he can actually switch the darned laptop on, log online and find them, right by himself, using his God-given brain and fingers, and yes baba's laptop (he will never ever allowed to touch the house laptop, courtesy of ferocious alin, or kak ja's or kak gel's...all of these laptops are sacred)....

before i continue, the capitalised words, they are for impact...his whole being is all about impact, just like a train wreck...he is also the tallest amongst mr. hanif's aka baba's children...after spending 12 years of his life being the shortest, he deserves this...it has nothing to do with his talent or intelligence but what the heck right?....intermission: this 'baby, baby, bay, nooooo' by justin beiber (i know u know it!) is damned annoying, i can't stop singing to it, with exception of the ridiculous ludacris' part, that part i cringed every time!...resume: aboy is a proud VI boy (i seriously don't know what u call a student from VI aka victoria institution, i'm assuming it's 'boy' but alas i actually don't care)...VI being his alma mater, not that he has graduated from high school, being still in school and all...i'm not making sense here....

being special, aboy loves adventures...NOT!...he does try though...so far, from mama's recollection, aboy has tried badminton, the band and footie (still interested) within 2 year period...all to no avail, excepting footie...i admire his tenacity or his bravery or his inability to stick to one interest, which ever quality that struck me at the moment...i was like that, wait, i still am hohoho...so it's all in da' family, ya know?...

ah the story of the only CHILD of the family...i think i've told about it before...to prevent me from being and old bore who repeats stories over and over again, please refer to errr some earlier post, if u can miraculously find it...anyway, he intensely cared (past tense?...yes that part will also come soon) about his elder sister (at this point someone should point out that ALL of his sisters are older than him anyway) alin...when they were small, like 5 or so, he always always made sure his 'precious' sister got what he got...in other word, they were stuck tighter than conjoined twins...they went to the same pre-school...same religious school...ate from the same hand (mama's), play at the same playground and so on...5 or so years later, they are bitter enemies...ah the mystery of growing up...

how are they enemies now?...they barely talk...yes, to each other...the way they communicate: the other person is the third person, even if that person is right smack in front of his/her eyeballs....every sentence drawn by the other person will be replied with derision, sarcasm, irritation or totally ignored...hugs and kisses?...in ur dreams...what if they like the same song or movie????...horror of horrors!...every interest or hobbies of the other team is lame to the other...

did i mentioned aboy loves his games?...he loves his psp, playstation 2, computer games, gameboy and all sorts of gaming paraphernalia...best thing about it is: no one under the house of hapsah shares his interest, thus no one touches his stuff...he also loves anime (as following her kak nana aka me's heritage)...he is also very protective of his mobile phone...coz his sisters are stalkers (who, me?nooooo, not i, puhhhleazzze!)....

he also has the nastiest smack ever...when he was small, smacking him around was fun coz well, he was puny...so his smacks were puny too...now, i try to avoid his 'playful' smacks...they smack broken bones...get it?hahahaha....mama used to warn us about physical playfulness...now we get it...aboy is good in english, like his sisters, but sadly performing poorly in his native language....his malay spelling is atrocious...his usage of words and verbs are awkward...basically, he's part malay, part alien...seriously....

anyway, i should stop now...the topic of each individual in my family can be a whole 4 000 pages hardcover book...one book per person...with sequels of no end...for now, i'm satisfied with this...

simple pleasures

whenever i receive mama's phone call, it never fails to make me really happy...such simple happiness, but it's happiness nonetheless...

glimpse of baby boy

my cute little baby boy has came home today!he's irritating at times, but i also like to irritate him...

b aka baby aka alin

b

b was a cute baby...she cried a lot, as trademark of hapsah & hanif's brats and ate a lot too...as a result, she pooped a lot and required almost constant attention...to make long story short, aboy was also similar to her elder sister in this sense...(these 4 sentences are the official opening of this long long essay!hohoho!)

b was also mischievous...when she was young, probably 2-3 years old (story was retold by dear mama, it was hilarious!), mama had asked her to look after aboy for a few minutes...i think mama needed to visit the loo or something...it all happened in the living hall...mama was suspicious of b since she had shown some tendencies of abusing other babies (must be inherited directly from her elder sister gegel, she was way way worse, the baby godzilla of the family)...so after a few seconds, mama checked upon these two...what she saw shocked her...b was suffocating aboy with his pillow!...alas, mama was there right on time to prolong baby boy's worthless, errr, worthy life....

secondly, b was stubborn...wait a minute...she IS still stubborn...some of great stories to be retold to next generation: she insisted for another track match when another team had accidentally passed the wrong baton to her, causing her team, which was winning, to get the 2nd or third place...she was around 9 or 10 when this happened...

u must understand this...b never never ever lose...i mean in her vocabulary, there are only number 1, 2, 3; the best; top 10; all As; the prettiest; the cutest; the smartest; and all the best '-est' in the list of english words...if she thinks she is worthy of number one, she'll stand there, unbudging, with her eyes boring into ur skull through ur eyeballs until she gets what she deserves...at least half of the time she gets it, either coz she is actually worth the honour or people just know her well and surrender before the long endless war of wills....

another story is how she would withstand any kind of punishment, even when she was a baby just to show she could take it...she would stand there, arms straight on the side, hands fisting, lips on a straight line, face tilted down by a small degree, looking either at u or straight, unmoving until u r done with ur punishment...she would never ever cry....ever...once, when she was 4/5, she knocked onto something and fell, while cycling around the neigbourhood, i think, and cut her forehead 4-6 cm wide...she was bleeding profusely and needed some stitches, and yet, she never cry, not even once...

b is also an old busybody...she has the tendency to be really really really interested in things we buy, especially after a shopping trip...it doesn't matter if we go out and buy ordinary stationaries, she must see what's in the bag...when she is older, her tendency to do this lessen...that's a major relief coz that habit was actually extremely irritating...

lastly, b is a master taking-chance-kind-of-person...every time someone opens his/her wallet and say 'buy/order anything u want', she will actually go and do exactly that...with no restraint...if it's lunch, she will get the full course - entree, main and dessert...if it's clothes, she will try to get at least 2 things...and so on...

of course there are thousands of stories of b growing up, but alas, i'm too tired to think more and wants to move on to the next subject - baby boy aka aboy aka the-real-name-huzayev...be ready for more hot stuff...

my favourite topic

my little babies, b and huzayev aka baby boy (he hates that nickname, but alas, he much deserves it! :-P ) are really special...although admittedly i hadn't spent much time with them when they r growing up (me - the product of boarding school, college & moving overseas), and they still r growing up, healthily and happily i hope, i love them much...my way of catching up: simple:

stalking - involving checking up their blogs (still unable to access), facebook, twitter and myspace accounts

harassing people (mama, baba, jaja, gegel) for updates and stories

harassing the owner of the bodies themselves aka b and baby boy, of course, DUH!

i talk about them all the time, as evident here...i tell my friends and strangers about the cuteness of them...the reason i don't talk much about the other 2, jaja and gegel, well, coz they are my closest friends, my dearest sisters who are closer to me in terms of age...so, we don't embarrass each other, anywhere...although, sad to say, i am the brunt of their weird jokes all the time...and i have absolutely no way to deflect these jokes...

anyway, b and aboy (that's his actual nickname ;-P) have distinct personalities and adorable traits when they were mere babies...well, now i can safely say these traits are adorable...back then, they were the terrible monsters, out to threaten my peace and sanity...let's do this one person at a time, shall we....

mayday mayday!please save my erhmm laptop?

funny how dependent we are on technology...years ago, in another lifetime, people were not as dependent as we do now....ah ah ah, i see some of u shaking ur heads, thinking 'no, no!i don't use my pc everyday!'....but think hard, crank that unused part of ur brain...i'm sure u r at least dependent much on ur mobile phones no?...all of us has different priority on technology....even if u r not so dependent on it, u at least use ur mobile phone more than 10 times daily, no?....

let me put it this way....u may use ur mobile more than others...or u may use ur pc (that's ur laptop/desktop) more often than others (like moi!)...u may even use ur pda the most (also like moi!i read lotsa ebooks from my pda ^^)...alternatively, most of us check our emails at least weekly, if not daily...or we watch tv or youtube religiously...or we download songs like there's no tomorrow...or we keep our ipod/mp3 player so close, we are almost adjoined to it...or we text like madness to convey things like 'cya!', 'otw', 'thanks!', ':)', 'hate ya!', 'happy bday!' and so on (observe tiger woods' & mistress' millions of kinky text messages)...or we chat with our friends on blackberry apps/yahoo msger/msn msger/skype...or we check facebook every 35 seconds, unwilling to miss even one update...

continuation: or we empty our bank account to buy the latest mobile phones, gadgets or programs...or beggar our parents/significant others, depending our ur type...we use things like car, airplanes, microwave, juicer, food processor, coffee maker, air conditioner, heater, washing machine, dryer, oven and lots of other household apparatus that makes our lives much much livable and easier...in conclusion, every one of us are very very very DEPENDENT on technology...unless u come from the third world country, where u don't even get proper housing and clean water, much less electricity and internet...which in any case, u don't even read my blog for the sheer waste of time of it...

anyway, our dependence means every slight or broken or delay or wonkiness means total death to sanity...for example, my programs in my laptop (not the new lappie, praise GOD be!) are currently running slower...fazan noted this a few days ago when it takes like 10 hours to boot my very own laptop (okay it's an erroneous exaggeration, but u get what i mean)....it also takes longer to shut-down or open a new program/folder....i have already semi-cleaned my humongous files, so i'm left of half of hard drive space rather than just 10% a few weeks ago...but it runs even slower...suspicions of unidentified malware is rife...but to lazy to reformat...too much work...

today, i get thousands of 'script not responding' or some shit while using my work programs, causing undue panic and stress and anxiety attack...u see, my part-time job is very dependent (that hated word again) on clocking in on time and doing my job as fast as possible, within time limit...the unresponsive script makes me want to hurl, since i've rebooted my laptop 3 times, causing me to go offline 3 times, wasting more than 20 minutes and lessening my chance of getting my task done on time...i even made one HUGE mistake in one of my task (don't want to think abt it now!)...after stressing about, scaring myself to death, someone else clocked in (i was initially alone for an hour so no help for the wicked) and after mentioning my problem, she suggested google chrome...

fuuuuuh....imagine my sigh of gladness when it turned out google chrome works perfectly for my work!....i was like 'GOD GOD GOD!I PROMISE TO SACRIFICE MY BEST PILLOW IF U ONLY SAVE MY LAPTOP!'...alas there must be something incompatible for my work program and firefox...my laptop is still running slow...i'm still hoping God will miraculously save my laptop, making it go faster (without checking on my own)...i'm still half joined to my pda and laptop and internet...in the end, technology rules my entire being, not the other way round...*sigh*

google chrome

how about that?...my first time using google chrome since firefox stalled some of my programs for work...i've been told it worked great...it's different from mozilla firefox (definitely!)...better than IE (anything is better than IE, that thing needs to be overhauled by the aliens!)...anyhow, i don't know whether it's worse or better than firefox....haven't fully explored yet...still, it looks pretty enough...


some things i like about it, so far (an opinion by a non-expert, a layman, if u will):

1. the ease of use for my work programs
2. the pretty layout
3. the cool tab design
4. the funny messages (like 'boo!u don't have any extensions :-) )
5. the super awesome incognito function!(now i can watch porn with ease!hahahaha NOT!)
6. the duplicate/pin/close other/open as a new window tab functions!
7. faster page loading!!!!that's really really great!

can't think of more :) it's pretty sweet so far...

words of wisdom

when u have nothing to say, u shut ur mouth...when i have nothing to say, i eat...

yum yum yum lasagna

i know i always mentioned how i love to exhale food and to cook it too (latter is an afterthought)...so, to give back (0r whatever), i'll make a post of one of my favourite all-time food's recipe...it's a recipe that i've unearth from dear mummy (of course she makes it better, but since u r stuck with me, u get what i cook)...tada: beef lasagna!



wait....i'm too lazy now....that's me...the lazy cow...so...enjoy the visual stimulus above hohohoho!!!...it's really yummy!...seriously!


p/s: this lasagna is made today (actually we already made one last friday, this is made from last friday's leftover hohohoho)...so the picture is fresh!!!hahahaha...

new look!yay!

it's high time for a new look!...when youtube and mozilla revamped, i decided to follow the masters' footsteps and viola!...alas, i'm still too lazy and to inexperienced to make my own template, thus with the helping hands of dear ole google and a handful of blog templates websites, i present you, the all new layout!!!


yes yes, it's not original...who cares?...i don't...hehehehe...i seriously love this one!...the 'comment' section works, that's the most important thing...even if i know i will never actually receive a real comment huhuhu...anyhow, before i wax rhapsody over my super-awesome-'stolen' template, i'll leave u, gentle readers to be wowed by the greatness/cuteness/awesomeness (have i mentioned that?) of my all new blog (at least i do make an effort to change the outlook hehehe)!!!!...


p/s: pardonez-moi for the same picture of the same layout that u can actually see clearly...what can i say?...i was too overwhelmed...hohoho..

youtube

yes, our favourite endless fount of entertainment...so far, it has gone through many changes, some good, some 'let's wait and see' and some bad...it serves me well so far (excepting the fact that it has eaten 98.9% of my bandwidth each month, u bet it should serve me GOOD!)...anyway, after recent face-lift (that's still questionable), i've yet to explore the glory of new updates and changes (hopefully for the better)...i've heard, so far, are grumblings of 'i-don't-like-it' to 'i-hate-it' with some peppering of 'I-F.R.E.A.K.I.N'-LOVE-IT!'...


me?...i've yet to feel the difference...the 'minimalist' look have yet won me over, but i'm not denouncing it as yet...i just feel, what's the word, eh, ahhhh 'indifferent'....hey, i'm no tech geek (i'm no tech pro but i admit i'm totally fascinated by certain aspects of new tech...does that make me a 'geek'...arrgghhh), i just don't care as long as it's still accessible for me to watch my favourites and easy to use...what do u think?...


p/s: yes, as some of u are aware, i am an asian-stuff addict...from it's dramas and movies to songs and entertainers...so, does that answer the question 'why does she subscribe to those asian stuff?'...funny how i totally love asian stuff with exception of my own native country 's entertainment...my native country's entertainment scene, while i must admit, has it's own merit and bright stars, is mostly lame to me....before u fellow malaysians get on ur high horse, let's admit we are all entitled to our own opinions, ne?....u know, freedom of speech and all that (this has turned into a long long long and tiresome p/s)...

funny news of the day

love this: guy gets ticket 30 seconds after parking LOL!

check the link above to read this ingenious letter!!!

plans

i'm almost totally broke, but i'm ambitious...long live dreams and ambitions....anyway, this break, i've planned to:

1. study (as usual, that always be a top priority, but bottom in execution)
2. cook fun food: lasagna (done!!!), korean food, sushi?
3. exercise (my zumba is in the state of limbo)
   
4. decorate room (utterly fun but impossible in my current state of finance)
5. shopping (well, that goes without saying)

alas, the best i can do now is study and cook...i know, i know, food still costs money, but a girl still need to eat no?

reality show today

what can be more entertaining than somebody else's misery?...wow, that's a harsh, sarcastic sounding statement...but it's too true...have u ever watched some shows, reality show, like the wipeout (i love the australian version!very sarcastic, just up to my alley!) or survivor where a bunch of people do some idiotic things to win some cash?...it wasn't even easy money (unlike what we'd like to think)...only one person will win and the rest?...well...they just have to get over it....

a visual stimulus for u courtesy of 'wipeout'

the more people hurt/fall/bleed/fight, the more entertaining it is...who wants to watch some show where everyone is nice to one another, respect other people's feelings and succeed in every challenges there are facing?....that's bullshit...we want blood and gore!....we want conflicts and bitch-slaps!....we want backstabbing and hatred....we also want morons and shit-asses...alas, that's what reality show is all about...feeding our secret monsters and wasting our precious time...but...can we all agreed we are all suitably and satisfyingly entertained?...

sobfest

i'm having a meltdown here...gory sobfest while watching 'a walk to remember'...sad sad sad...i'm so pathetic...

collection

my collection of the week:

my new lappie!her name is 'lappie'!actually i haven't thought of a name for her yet...so she'll stay as 'lappie' as for now....



my various study paraphernalia....my 5 year-old black bear/dog pencil case that i adore so much, my trusty orange mechanical pencil that has served me well so far and not forgetting various lecture notes...photo taken at the law library...don't ask why law...



evie and i...don't we look really dignified here...

my life so far

let's do some reflection here, shall we?...i have been writing for more than a year now (yay!)...while that is worth noting, nothing i've written so far is worth of note (get it?)...before i digress further, what i'm trying to say is, have i grown with time, insight and maturity that comes with time and experience?...


after careful 2 minutes of deep thinking, i can safely say, in some ways, i am developing, for better or worse...in other ways, i'm right where i was years ago, or getting worse...but really, how bad can a person fall?...as yet, i can safely say i have yet to kill a person (at least not intentionally or literally) and i have yet to agree war is the best answer., say like america have been touting so far..but that is just a simplified way to justifying 'bad'...


before i go further into mysteries and intricacies of words, let's stays focused...have i grown (yes, i know i grew physically but that's not what we're discussing here...my girth and my weight are another whole topic to be discussed...or probably not)?...to date, i am still judgmental...not proud of it but i'm not ashamed too...reason: i am only human, a product of God's way, genetics, biology, feminism, upbringing, religion, society and to some extent, Hollywood/korean/chinese/japanese anime, dramas and movies....i'm vulnerable and i follow my own developing set of beliefs...


does being judgmental means i'm bad/good?...not really...if u are really paying attention, every one of my statement is really ambiguous...it is to say, depending on individual situations, judgmentalism plays a crucial role in steering my way...so far my instinct has proven me right, but then again, i am the sole judge so i'll never really know...


moving on from this tiresome topic....have i gain more insight?...truthfully i don't know...i have yet to spend my time scouring world newspapers for latest updates of wars, politics or whatnot, so i'm not learning something significantly new...i have yet to gather enough interest to read more 'serious' books other than romance (yes, i still love romance)....i believe i am extremely ordinary in that sense...


thirdly, have i gain brilliance?...i have never stood out, i am not physically beautiful and i also don't have the personality to 'wow' people...but i believe in myself...to answer that question, yes, i believe i am brilliant...not genius brilliant alas, but i love myself...and will continue to do so...


overall, with all these questions brewing in my head, will i steer my writing to a new and more matured ideals?...heck, NO!what's the point?...i like writing fluff and will continue updating on the trials and tribulations of acquiring new shoes and life through my very confusing and ambiguous lenses....


p/s: for more fluff on the side, would u accept 'blind like a bat' as similar to 'blind as a bat'?...i felt cheated somehow...

can u say something remotely intelligent please?

have u ever been in a conversation whereby u feel like a dumb blonde (i'm not stereotyping blondes here, really, as most of my blonde friends are actually extremely intelligent)?....the thing is, i always always feel extremely brainless in every one of my conversations....reasoning?...ah, coz i never managed to be coherent, never come out with an original idea, never seem to have a justified opinion, never utter any witty comeback, or in plain words, i sound like an idiot uttering nonsense just to get things going...some of my brilliant comments:

• mr. X: 'i think our new prime minister needs to put more effort to be more accessible to his constituents and to think fast on his feet...nowadays, it's really hard to fill mahathir's shoes, no matter what ur political leanings are...'
• me: '........................................................................................' (thought: shit...whatever does he mean???...new prime minister???...political leanings???...da da da...i'm in the twilight zone...da da da...)

second conversation:

• miss x: 'to think logically, we can't always be neutral and non-judgmental...we are human after all...we must sometimes stand firm and say 'i agree' or 'i disagree' and justify our belief...i believe in liberty in religioun...no blind faith for me...'
  
• me: 'errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........hmmmmmmmmm...'(after 30 painful seconds) 'did know that ricky martin is gay?' (note: after all, what can be more eloquent than that?)
  

when have i fallen so far from the Eden of great repertoires and knowledge?...have i even been there before?...it's a major relief that i'm not blind to my stupidity but it's no great relief to know that it's incurable...i have absolutely no understanding in human psyche when it comes to live conversation...my only and best solution so far: either i buck up (read some more, u moron!) or i deserve to live in the dark, with my room's 4 walls, and yes, u too dear dear bloggie, as as silent yet loyal companions....end of self-rumination of the hour/day/month/year (which ever u prefer)...