Mothers Know Best

It is so therapeutic to talk to my Mama. I feel so bad today, like lowest of low, and after ranting like a madwoman here, talking to Mastura and now my Mama, I feel that everything will be okay. I know God is testing me, so I shall take it as fate and face it head-on. Things will always be better. I have to believe that.

I am also missing home badly. It's really different, the feeling of living far away in Auckland, for the fact that I am still here in Malaysia, just on the other side of the sea, and not as accessible to home as I was in Teluk Intan before. While flights are quite frequent (AirAsia has the most flights in a week and daily too), it is not as cheap as taking a bus home every weekend. 

Anyway, Mama cheered me up. She doesn't really say motivational words like, 'Do your best', but she did talk about random stuff like my house condition, Sibu in general, Sarawak famous layered cake, my flight and survival of my frozen food in the luggage and so on. I feel so close somehow, like I am talking right next to her, instead of via the phone line.

I know I don't appreciate my Mama, Baba and siblings often. I don't know how to demonstrate affection, we are not an openly affectionate family and I am easily frustrated, rash and short-tempered, but I do love my family the best. And I know they will love me no matter what. So, yeah, I will always remember that my family loves you as much as I love them. I am truly sorry for all of my imbecilic infantile outbursts.