Saturday, January 26, 2013

Restaurant Melayu Along The River In Melaka - WARNING: STAY AWAY! I REPEAT, STAY AWAY!

If there is one thing I hate the most in the world (well, there are more than one thing, but I need to use this to emphasize on this issue) is how Malaysians love to kowtow on so-called VIPs aka those Datuks, Dato's, Tan Sris and so on. Why am I talking about this? I am not, by all means, anti-establishment or anti-social or anti-whatever. However, I am against the Malaysian idiocy mentality of 'must-treat-these-VIPs-more-special-since-hey-I-don't-even-know-what-they-contribute-to-society-but-they-are-indeed-rich-enough-to-pay-for-those-Datukships'.

Why am I saying this and what does this have to do with the name of the restaurant mentioned in the subject? For one, my family and I have received numerous secondhand citizen treatments due to stupid Malaysians and their ass-kissing attitude. Oh and not forgetting those so-called VIPs who are all about red carpets, police escorts, give-way-even-passing-through-red-lights-and-causing-almost-accidents-on-the-road-and-traffic-congestion and more special treatments.

My family and I happened to make a day trip to our beautiful albeit confusing Melaka a few days ago during that one day holiday. We took a short boat ride along the river that cut through Melaka town. Wait, the river should be more appropriately called huge drainage. It's filthy and smelly and full of rubbish like plastic water bottles. Anyway, we saw this huge, almost Malay traditional-like gray building next to Morten Village (Kampung Morten) with a huge sign that says 'Restoran Melayu' (Malay Restaurant).

So, we decided to have dinner there since it looks welcoming and comfortable. And we'd love to enjoy the river-view. Alas, after more than 30 minutes trying to find the place in Melaka's twists and turns (Melaka township seriously need to re-assess their road signs, it's stupider than shit and they are of no help to those who are unfamiliar with the town), we found the restaurant and with our hungry tummies, proceed to take a seat in the almost empty restaurant.

The almost emptiness should've given us a huge clue of how shitty the restaurant is. First, it's not that clean. The table have stains and the floor has rubbish and food stuff. Secondly, service is almost pathetically shittier than shit. Now, why am I being so vulgar about food? It's because we get to eat about almost 1 hour later, and while we could stand the wait, it's the service staff attitude that pissed me off the most.

After we proceed to order, our drinks came like almost 20 minutes later (how difficult it is to make drinks when the restaurant only have the VIPs, another 3-4 people in a group and us?). While we stave off our thirst, a stupid waiter came and proceed to tell us, 'Oh wait people, we have a bunch of VIPs so you guys are the least of our priorities and will be served when we feel like it'. 

This stupid guy didn't say it that way but yeah, he did say that they need to serve the VIPs first, we will be served later. I was already past my limit point and I felt like shouting obscenity to them already at that point. Then, the best is, when the food came, for the price of shit, my father and brother-in-law were served 5 small pieces of chicken meat in their soups. I repeat. 5 small shitty pieces of chicken that can barely feed a child. And these pieces have lots of bones too, as if we can chew off those bones.

And. Apparently, they've mistaken our order and served the table that came after us first, making our orders the last order of the night. And we were given a measly 5% discount that couldn't even cover that 6% governmental tax. This restaurant and their service staff are a joke.

So a lesson here guys, if you are visiting Melaka, stay away from Restoran Melayu near Kampung Morten. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever be deceived by the design of the place and the atmospheric view of the river and decide to experience first hand the shit they gave us.


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