we are the product of our upbringing...

i learned clearly that alin is taking a destructive path of following jaja and gegel's footsteps...in case u are wondering, alin, jaja and gegel are my younger sisters...the way she respond to me is almost to eerily similar to jaja and gegel that it's super scary...whenever i call and relay on some random stories, she'll be like 'riggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhht................' and then one pregnant pause....then, 'moving on.....'...yeah...she treated me like i'm a child in need of attention...well....i may act like one, a child i mean, but i'm still her loveable eldest sister...it's very frustrating when all of ur younger siblings are irreverent of u...and alin is definitely learning well (and taking unnecessary cue from jaja and gegel)...


anyway, i noticed i quote mama a lot...whether it's her advice, philosophy on life in general and her cooking, i quote her well....it seems like mama's pearl of wisdom is golden to me...all of her established rules like how fish asam pedas goes well with fried chicken, not chicken in soy sauce, is like gospel to me...funny we follow our parents or those who brought us up really closely subconsciously to some extent...i love mama and her quirky sense of the world, don't mistake me...but all this claim that i am coming into my own woman, it's true but really my family makes up a lot of my sense of self...my religion, family and friends...i am a truly lucky person...

in celebration of this ramadhan, i'd like to give thanks to Allah SWT for all of my blessings and i pray for forgiveness, strength and health to all whom i know and love...

ramadhan mubarak

tomorrow (saturday, 22 august 2009) all muslims and muslimahs in new zealand and malaysia (and probably in a lot of other countries all over the world) will be starting our fasting month, the ramadhan....ramadhan is coming and welcomed with open arms...i love ramadhan....i have great memories of ramadhan and this month generally encourages a lot of people to do more good deeds...anyway, i don't have many things to say for now....i would like to wish all muslim and muslimah all around the world:

**ramadhan mubarak**

and to fazan, be strong...i'll be praying for you!keep your faith!

what's up?!

when i have nothing so say, it means i have nothing to say...it doesn't mean that i have nothing to write...i can write about nothing for pages long...and make it as if it's 20 different subjects....*sigh*...i'm too bored with life right now...many work to do, many things to catch up...still...need to write something... my life is so inspiration-less right now...let me think for 3 seconds...hmm....


yeah, i found out that the cheap bakery at grafton sells this delish vegetarian pie!it was so yummy it literally melts in my mouth!thanks nia for the pie!next is my turn!next topic, i'm a squatter at dora and yaya's place now...i visit my dear abode around every 2 days...missed my bed...i've been living as an 'illegal alien' at dora and yaya's place for almost 2 weeks now!dora's probably bored looking at my good-lookin' face by now and might have feel that she wanted to boot me out soon ^^


anyway, i'm happy that mama bought me a set baju raya this year (like every other year)...nenek maridah (my favourite granny!) also made me a set of baju raya, in blue...mama said she wanted to have a purple theme this year for all of us ^^ ...that's jaja's favourite colour...anyway, the news is big coz mama rarely offer to post something for me...i love u mama and nenek maridah, dearly and forever!


these days i haven't got the time to go out hang out with friends...i miss my weekly gossip-dinner time with rachel...i miss going out to get dinner/bubble tea/shopping with evie and nicole (yeah i'm pretty sure i'm all 'shopped' out but hey, i really really need retail therapy now!did i tell u i bought these fantabulous witchery cream wedgie espardrille, so happy to have the bragging right to it!)...all of us seem busy these days...and broke...and depressed...and sad...


shout out to all of my friends out there!be happy - to:

put, farah, dora, yaya, amin, fazan, choon wei, nia, rachel, joyce, christina, janus (miss talking to u so much!u always go offline so soon!can't wait to see u in december!!!), evie, nicole, jessie, megu, indah, kak tun, gaurav, stacey, jae, christina (both stacey and jae seemed to be incommunicado these days!) (all in no particular order!if i miss someone, don't be offended!don't mean to leave ur name off!)

reality may seem too much but there were and will be days when everything is pure happiness!remember that!

cokelat - jauh

my latest favourite song ^^ (and my amateurish translation, bear with me)

Cokelat - Jauh (Far Away)

Hari ku lalui
I spend the day
Tanpa hadirmu lagi
Without your presence anymore
Ku coba ingkari sepi ini
I've tried to ignore this loneliness
Mengapa terjadi
Why does this happened
Hancur kau akhiri
You ending it, destroying
Satu kata janji
One promised word
Tak kembali
Not coming back

Seribu tanya sesak di dada
A thousand questions crowding in my heart
Haruskah bimbang meraja
Should worry enthroned
Lelah tepis harapanku
My hope is weary and ignored
Sendiri mencari bayangmu
Alone, looking for your shadow

Ku tunggu dirimu selalu
I'm always waiting for you
Ku tunggu
I'm waiting
Walaupun
Even though
Ku tahu kau jauh
I know you're far away
Ku tahu kau jauh
I know you're far away

Biarlah semua
Let everything be
Seperti apa adanya
As it is
Ku terus mencoba
I have to try
Relakannya
To accept it
Satu yang ku minta
One thing I'm asking for
Kembalilah padanya
Return to her
Ku tahu disana ada dia
I know she is there

Ku tunggu dirimu selalu
I'm always waiting for you
Ku tunggu
I'm waiting
Walaupun
Even though
Ku tahu kau jauh
I know you're far away
Ku tahu kau jauh
I know you're far away

Seribu tanya sesak di dada
A thousand questions crowding in my heart
Haruskah bimbang meraja
Should worry enthroned
Lelah tepis harapanku
My hope is weary and ignored
Sendiri mencari bayangmu
Alone, looking for your shadow

Ku tunggu dirimu selalu
I'm always waiting for you
Ku tunggu
I'm waiting
Walaupun
Even though
Ku tahu kau jauh
I know you're far away
Ku tahu kau jauh
I know you're far away

Cokelat - Jauh

when i think about the lyrics of this song, it sounds so useless to pine away when he seemed happy with his other half and so unreachable (implied by the lyrics)...it sounds sad and hopeless somehow...i love it!i hope i will never have to give up my loved ones but real life doesn't work that way...*sigh*...this song sings straight to my heart...i'm such a hopeless romantic...

nara?dania tania?

how many ways can a baby's name be bungled up by 2 people?from what i've heard from mama and baba about 3-4 hours ago, my cousin boy and his wife have a new baby girl...mama rhapsodized about the baby's cuteness for indeterminable minutes and when i could finally put in words edgewise and asked for the baby's name, she came out with a lot of variations:

dania, tania dalmia, tania dania, tamia deniah etc (somehow all of these sound like a dog breed/pasta sauce that can be found everywhere here in auckland, very doubtful)

then i get to asked baba about the baby's name, u know, just in case he remembers it more correctly, he promptly came out with:

nara (this doesn't even have any rhyme or reason to mama's variations, not even close, and baba didn't even try to remember...he just popped that name out of thin air...he must've thought 'yes, this sounds about right, nara it is!', just to placate me)

those 2 variations clash like purple top and red skirt...how can a name be funnied up so crazily it's unrecognisable???that's my mama and baba....

who, me?

it's hard to pin blame on people when eventually u know that it's ur own darned fault (with the texan accent please, u know, the 'darned' part)...i have an addiction (a confession???)...to dexter...u know the tv series...each season comprised of 12 episodes and the latest season, season 4, is going to be aired soon in america...i can actually say it's yaya and dora's fault...they were looking for movies to copy from ainn/amir's external hard drive and i was curious enough to check what ainn/amir has in her/his drive...dexter stood out coz i remember jaja or gegel loving this series...


then i got on watching the first episode...then the next...after that, the after...and so on...it's like a malicious virus...it's virulent....i can also blame this addiction to ainn/amir...if they haven't lent out their external, i wouldn't even thought of watching dexter...i was in my 'drama rut' these last few weeks since i had seemed to lost interest in new dramas...but alas, my addiction is back...i can actually say it's jaja/gegel's fault too...someone mentioned that this series is intriguing and i have to start watching it...in the end, it is me and only me who watch dexter...so, the moral of the story here, don't watch dexter...seriously...it's such an awesome drama, u seem to get glued to ur screen until u watch all of the episodes...*pst pst, just in case u r interested what dexter is all about, click on the link of dexter above, and try watching the first episode!hehehe*

the generous moi

i didn't know i have a streak of generosity a mile wide...when i was small (it's well established that a general social trait must be instilled when one's still a child, it'll last longer that way *shrug*) i used to offer my second sister, gegel to anyone who thought she was so darned cute and adorable...i even agreed for a trade-up for a bunch of white cotton-tailed rabbits with this cuddly-bear uncle who was so fond of gegel (i don't remember him exactly but i really remember the rabbits)...


gegel was a very very adorable baby and child...she was chubby, cute, with atypical bronze and golden-like tufts of hair and very clear milky white skin...this is in fact quite amazing, comparing gegel when she was a baby to jaja or i as babies...she was like a caucasian baby, very desirable to lots of asian/malay parents...i really secretly thought there was some mistake at the hospital she was born and mama got the wrong baby....but alas, when she grew up, she kinda share similar facial features to the rest of us, conforming there is no mistaken babies trade....but the main story here, i remember i used to offer her to anyone who expressed any slight interest...i am indeed very generous...let's hope gegel would also be generous to me and not murder me when i'm asleep...

mary, mary, quite contrary...

or a newly revised version: harley, harley, quite contrary...women are fickle and contrary creature...god creates us to confound the other half of the population...at least, in my case, this is exactly true...i'm a contrary person, not only confusing the better half of the society (let them think that) but also my bretheren...this is to say i do things in a crazy different way...


usually, i'll be so hungry, i go to sleep eating nothing, promising myself a better tomorrow (somehow sound pathetic, i know, but too lazy to cook & to miserly to buy food)...i always eat at night, usually after class...if i don't cook, i eat whatever i have in hand, or go hungry...sometimes, it's the other way round...i have tons of food (u know, time of the month...not menstrual, allowance time!!!) and i am very motivated to cook...that equals eating too much until my tummy feels all stretched out to the max and at the edge of bursting...like now....


the moral of the story here, i should learn to live moderately...alas, life doesn't always be that perfect...and to end today's ramblings, i feel alone T_T...evie's staying at jessie's coz she's out partying and megu went out in the evening and has yet to come back...it's like a flashback of my holidays...they desert me, traitors!hahahaha....nah...i should go shower, study and sleep (in the order)....


p/s: to answer nicole's twice asked question - 'will u come clubbing with us (with the rest of the gang)?'...my answer - 'interesting question nicole'

pp/s (is there such thing???): did go and buy perfume....err 2 perfumes...escada ocean lounge & hugo boss xx for women...and some other things *shifty eyes*...getting poorer by seconds...yesterday, bought fish n chips n taro slushy (at least shared the slushy with nicole so yeah not so bad) and going for a nice dinner with jae, alex and jessica soon...so yeah, more and more spending!someone put a solid padlock to my bank account please (or at least my credit card)!!!ah n shiitake mushroom tastes sooo yummy, it has this meaty flavour (unrelated at all but i need to state this rather desperately!)...

ewww!!!get a room!

okay, maybe not a room...but somewhere where there is no human to be disgusted by u would be great k...nia told me this 'ewww' story that happened to her yesterday...she was studying at the second floor computer space in kate edgar....u know how crowded that space is every afternoon...people have to wait to get a computer...


anyway, she was studying and in between reading, she looked around...she saw this guy (her description - caucasian male, youngish, probably a first year, with pimply face and orangey hair) near her table and he was studying calculus (from the cover of his opened textbook)...then she saw something no one should ever see in such a public and prestigious place like a university public area....this guy had his fly open and his errr 'privates' escaped from his pants...it wasn't an unfortunate accident...he was deliberately touching himself!!!


do u know what i'm talking about here???email me if u don't!anyway, that's truly yucky!especially for a girl!!!nia said that guy saw her looking at him and he smiled!!!sheepishly she admitted but still!!!i would've ran and never look back if i'm caught in such a compromising position (quoting from so many romance books), not that i'd do something like that in public, mind u!!!my advice is - if u are that desperate, go to the toilet!it's private!no wandering eyes will be offended by such display...


more importantly, that's just plain lacking in taste...can u imagine touching the computer, the mouse, the chair and the table that the guy touched (after he had done whatever he had done)???remind me to buy a sanitiser soon!!!

should i?should i not?

god knows i'm shallow enough a 3-year old child won't be drowned in my head (a statement the opening sentence...is that a good sign?)...let's talk about shopping and sale shall we?i'm saving all the money i can spare...the reason is, shall we say that i have some ideas with that saved money...enter smith and caughey's (u know the hallowed ultra expensive shopping place that rarely been visited by dear ole' moi coz of economic purposes) into the picture and it's massive crazy sale...things like designer perfumes, toilettes, shoes and home decorations are sold at this crazy (affordable) price, tempting poor buggers like who are supposed to be on strict shopping diet...why are all of my favourite things are on sale???that's the main question here...my theories are:

• they are evil...the make us salivate and at the end, we will definitely break...i bought 2 aromatic diffusers coz i thought they were cheap (can u imagine designer aromatic diffuser are like $13 for 2 bottles?!!!!)...now i'm having this 'should i, should i not' internal (and not so internal as i did ask rini just now about it) debate about whether should i buy this divine escada ocean lounge perfume (it's a 50ml edt that cost a pittance at $52!err at least it is rather cheap for a good perfume!)...will someone tell me whether i should (or should not)!!!!
• they are creatures from hell...a lot of perfumes are on sale....i saw dkny be delicious midnight perfume (thought i don't actually favour it's smell, it's a perfume...by the title of 'perfume' itself gives it an indesribable allure that attracts me like a bee to honey!) and some others...i'm salivating...and ah men's perfumes (i have this great need to buy 2 bottles for my brother and father)...
• they are born with 2 horns (not a ram darn it!) aka the devil...a devil's handmaiden aka rini told me that shoes such as witchery's and some other designers shoes are like $60-$90...still expensive that i need to sell one of my kidneys, i know, but considering their designer origins, yeah, those are kinda cheap....

in the end i made this conclusion that smith and caughey's is the very devil and it's natural variations for my purse...