how to be a good agent 101 (or the alternative)

not that i'm an agent myself...i met a lot of agents in my past (not a KGB spy, or FBI agents, rental agents are the type that i'm talking about here, get into the program!)...i met the ones who can barely speak english (it's so accented that i had to strain my ears to hear them, not that my english sounds like the queen's, mind you, but it is that bad)...here in the land of kiwi accented english, any sort of accents are acceptable...but the accent is so thick, you have to keep saying 'i'm sorry, what did you say again?', that it is a major hurdle to pass...i think you may have to allocate about an hour to ask them to fix your door as you may have to ask them to repeat what they are saying about a minimum of 3 times for every sentence...seriously...


i've met agents who are bitchier than the bitch actress in 'mean girls' (the movie which lindsay lohan acted, see i did watch some movies, i don't live under the rock)...they were abrupt and impatient (hey u chose to be an agent, a work which requires you to work with a lot of 'personalities'...didn't they teach you about pc, as in politically correct?)...they hate you and the best revenge is to charge you mountains and you'll get a pittance from your bond (they hate you that much that they check every itty bitty corner of the apartment when you left)...they have this perpetual bored and you-are-a-useless-human-being-so-go-and-die look on their faces every time you see them...they acted like kings and queens and you are their loyal subjects or 'off with their heads!'...you need to listen to them, not the other way round (or at least mutual listening)...


i've met agents who are sooooo busy that you can do your damnedest but you can't still reach them...they may be busier than the president of united states (not that i know whether the president of united states is busy, or more like, 'go and bomb these countries' to his army and sit back and pat his own back)...you can text them, leave them messages on their phone, email them, call their office or mobile, or even call their spouses every day (hey, i'll do that if i got their spouses' number, just to get hold of these agents)...these are useless strategies...you just have to keep on trying and curse them behind their backs (not for under 18 years of age please)...and pray hard that they'll be there when you make and appointment coz i've seen some who managed to not be there...they may have probably forgotten you...


i've met agents who count your rent before it's due and call you when your rent is half an hour late...they can be late in responding to your complaints and needs (or does not do anything about them at all!) but the bottom line is you must pay your rent a year earlier than your stay (nazis, anyone?)....money rules, nothing else matters...i've also met the alternative breed...the agents don't even asked whether u have paid your bond or not...it's like things like bond, letting fee and advance rent don't exist in their dictionary of life...it makes you start salivating, rubbing your hands in wicked glee and put on the evil face and think 'i can even live rent-free this year!hohoho!'....


ah the last breed is the type that say one thing and give you another...this type will paint a pretty as a rose bush picture of things, such as the size of the rooms in the apartment, and the date that you can move in...but in the end, you will get the rubbish, such as 'the apartment is not ready, so can you sleep on the street for a short while, say a month?'...the trick to deal with this type is you have to grit you teeth, endure, and push for the initial promise every day...you may just have what you want....eventually....or you may annoy them to madness and drive them to suicide...either way, you'll still feel cheated...


is there any more types of agents out there?probably...these are the types that i'm familiar and comfortable with...i guess when they decided to be rental agents, they have this guide of 'how to be any type of agents who are not the type of agents people generally want and need'...in other words, the worst kind...i've yet to meet an agent who is not impatient, rude, understanding and efficient...maybe i can try to be one!hahahaha...


by the way, the picture up there...it's stolen from the net...i typed FBI agent on google and used the image button and tada!i got this picture...see how convenient the net is?

copy cats and other related issues...

what?sounds kinda serious...nah...nothing important really...lately i've been feeling so very uhmm fulfilled?ah more like busy...i got involved in a lot of activities and have to meet a lot of people and settle a lot of things...so what do those have to do with copy cats?great question!nothing really...did it grab your attention?good!mission accomplished...hahaha...


anyway, i feel kinda like a copy cat now...i read someone else's blog and now i'm all fired up to write something...now that i start writing, i noticed, really, i have nothing to talk about...my short holiday is coming to end now (cue:a long *sigggggggghhhhhhhh*)...can't say i'm looking foward toward class (what does that seem to you?an unmotivated student?spot on!)...i feel kinda bad, but i wish the holiday is a bit longer...i can laze around and watch a lot of junks (ah don't feel offended my dear korean dramas!you are still first in my heart...err...)...i can also spent skulking around other people's facebook pages (stalker mode: on) and put on nonsense status (i so do love to grab others' attention!)...i can also do my private melodrama diva time, listening to sad love songs (more like break-up, you-are-leaving-me and someone-i-love-dearly-died-and-i-feel-like-dying-now songs) and read tons of romance (again rotting my brain with uselessness)...


i can also spend my free minutes moaning about my financial status (not that i do something about it...like WORK!)...and bemoaning about my useless life right now...i was about to use the word (cue:*tuuuttt*) s*it just now (get it?if not you need to check your brain...nah...jk jk!) to describe my life..i'm afraid i should start stop cursing now...it's addictive...even when i'm in dire financial straits, i still has yet to learn my lesson...i still plan to shop...here cue in keri who's being gentlemanly and will act as my errand boy tomorrow...i plan to buy this lovely table set at stevens that i reaaaaaaaaally can't live without (not that i actually die without it but hey, it's on SALE!)....


what's wrong with girls and sale?it's me who's wrong here...my brain is wired to be unresistant to sale...and clothes...and shoes...and jewelries...and books...and tea set (what??)....and...should stop somewhere before someone starts choking me...anyway, i'm one day away from class season...


another issues: it's raining all day today...what does that mean to me...nothing...i love rain...it makes the summer bearable (summer is coming to an end, welcome AUTUMN!i very much love autumn!summer means sweat, yucks!)...


ah now i remember!i'm so used to reading something in english that when i read someone else's blog in malay, i felt somehow confused...not that my english is so good that i've forgotten my mother-tongue...it just felt different...apparently that lady is very popular online...thousands (did i exaggerate here?) of people read her blog (unlike me who probably got, hmmm, one reader...as in myself...hahahaha)...but the thing is...i can't UNDERSTAND what she was trying to say!


i'm not exaggerating here...it's really confusing to me!i feel like i'm in an alternate universe where people don't actually speak my language...she did some of her posts in english...the thing is, they confused me more!not that her english is bad (and i'm that good), it's just that her sentences are hmmm weird?more like wrong somehow....ahhh...the issue here, why am i criticising her???she doesn't know me and i don't even know her (she will probably think i'm a jealous blogger, that bitch!hahahaha)!....i guess i have nothing important to think about now...that's why i'm becoming bitchier (coz i will focus all my energy towards bitching on other people!)...


as you can see, i can be bitchier when i have nothing to do...bless you, please shoot me when i'm becoming bored...i know this post is very long (and getting longer by seconds)...especially it's about nothing...need to sign off...will write more useless post soon!(don't count ur breath!)


edit: (what???yes this is getting longer...bear with me or just skip this...no one force you to read this!) i just read someone's blog...i keep thinking 'why can't i be as interesting as her?mine is full of bull!!!'...then i sat back and reflected (for about 5 seconds)...and i found that i like my blog (as stereotypical and boring it is)...it's mine...it reflects my eccentricity (or 'normalness', in relative to a lot of other more eccentric people, to quote fazan) and my thoughts...i may not have deep thoughts (about war or world politics or religion or other more important matters), but i have my own depth (defensive?hehehe)...my writing may not be extravagantly great, i won't get a noble prize for writing, i may not even have 100 of readers but hey, at least i read my own blog!hehehe...now, i'm really siging off...i'll leave the rest of my thoughts for my next post (cue:*groan....* more???)

same ol', same ol'

same topic...again...yes, it's about food, specifically about my tummy...i'm hungry (nothing new here)...i got free lunch today and i ate like there's no tomorrow, but still...i'm still hungry...let me recount on what i ate at lunch...i ate 2 egg croissants (they were tres fabulous!), hmm probably 2-3 mini egg sandwiches, one cinammon danish, 3 custard and marmalade danish pastries, one vegetarian salsa mini sandwich...then, when i got home, i ate about 10 spoonfuls of rice and curry (with a quarter of fried egg from yesterday, yucky as it may sound)...


ah and yes, i'm still here suffering from my hunger pangs...should i cook?too much of a hassle (me the anti-hassle kinda girl)...and about 5 minutes ago i was like 'aha!found some candies!'...i ate 2 of those...did i forget to mention that i drank a breakfast juice (u know the disgustingly healthy one with lots of carbohydrate and 5% of fat?)....it was so yummy that i wished i took more (stealing from uniguide breakfast tray, but hey, it's free for all!)...


it's almost hilarious how i can get from full to hunger in like a few seconds (like one of those aston martin spiders, not the wiggly insect, the car, yes my favourite one)...i can list a few of my girlfriends who are just like me...yes u know who u r...if u read this, then i especially dedicate this nothing-but-food-and-instant-hunger post for u guys...again, i know u know who u are!^^


hey i'm off to scavenge some food...i feel like the rats now...or possums...or whatever animals that eat on leftovers...*sigh*....

melodrama

i've stated this before...i'm a melodramatic person...i may not act or look like one, but i swear to god i am one...i love tragic love stories...i'm also addicted to sob movies and books...anyway, to make long story short (this is an extremely short post for a blabber mouth like me), i fell in love with this song and i'm not letting go anytime soon...it's called starlight tears by kim yoo kyung...i first heard it from the teen drama 'boys before flowers' (tacky title yes, and i'm pretty sure, after much deliberation on my part, that i don't understand what the title presents...though, there are heaps of pretty boys in the drama *droolssssss*)...the song is about errr....nah i won't tell you what it's about...i AM making this post short....

here you go:

Kim Yoo Kyung - Starlight Tears

contrary creature

yes that's what we are (or at least i'm pretty sure i am)...i say one thing in one moment and do the opposite in seconds....a fine example of this is related to my previous post...remember i had this one post which served no purpose what-so-ever other than expressing my extreme boredom (with some fine examples of how to spend your quality time since you suddenly have tons of it)....now i'm feeling vice versa...i got too much to do in so little time...


since i'm in a fine mood to list them down to you, here you go (for entertainment purpose, skip at your own risk!):

• had to settle some enrolment problem (now that i am not a 'floating' student, i can be a 'non-alien' since i can apply for my visa; such a hassle to apply my visa year after year!)
• volunteered as a uniguide so 2 days and a half were spent on goodwill (had fun being the 'bully' senior to the newbies...nah, i'm way too nice!ah let's not forget the freebies!lots of extra brunch bars, chocolates, muffins, drink packs and pizzas!see how enduring the malaysian way of 'tapau' here?doggy bags still prevail)
• still need to write down reports for uniguide (definitely last on the list, not so keen on writing reports, has a higher affinity to writing crap)
  
• still need to email my little ducklings (i'm the mother hen...wait, isn't is supposed to be mother duck, goose?) about future meetings etc
• need to enroll for another paper
• need to set up a meeting with new apartment agent about contract

i think i still have millions to do!how am i supposed to do all that in a few days?me, the miracle girl!


ah interestingly (noticed i used this word a lot like a dirty dish rag) my experience as a uniguide is very stimulating, to say at the very least...it started off with me coming in late (slunking into the lecture theatre when everything had started an hour earlier, sadly for me my entrance was quite noticable)...then, we had a big breakfast with scones and some other nice sweet stuff (which some i did managed to take home, again blame it on the inbred 'tapau' attitude)...


moving on, it started to rain before we could entice our little lambs to join our little pastures (good analogy for newbies and faculties?)...i deserted my original faculty and joined jae, sol and alex in their little group (how's that for faculty loyalty?)...i screamed the loudest for people to join our nice little group, well that's what malisha and sophie said anyway...being energetic, i happily showed my uniguide members around...i tripped on my words....A LOT!i think some of them looked dazed...too much information to assimilate in too little time...well, i'm what they get, so take me or leave me....


now i feel too exhausted to care whether this post makes sense or not...probably not...need rest....will see you guys later...chaio!

brothel

no i'm not promoting a madam's house (guys should probably know what i mean *wink wink*, not that i'm making generalisation about guys out there)...i'm not planning to list the names of infamous houses around here or any other places for that matter...i haven't even seen the interior of one...though have been curious about it...hehehe....


anyway the thing is, i am a pretty clueless person...you know, someone when you crack a joke, and responded with 'oh wow, really?i didn't know that?wow!'...n you will probably develop a tendency to bash her head to the nearest wall n yell 'hey wake up!i'm making a J.O.K.E here!!!', thus learning that ur nasty caveman tendency has not been weaned out of u during evolution...this year i volunteered to be a person to aid new first year students a.k.a newbies at my school...the main reason of my sudden burst of goodwill is that i thought that i will make my CV looks interesting and thus makes me look like a all-rounder (good impression people)....very mercenary...well, i do have some nice gene people, ye have no faith...


the story behind the long tedious introduction of me becoming a nice person (or not) is that today, during my second training day of being a uniguide, i passed down this building...what's so interesting about this house, you ask?ah this goes a long, long way back (3 years way back) when i was young and innocent....n green...someone i met (don't remember who) told me that there's this house near the clock tower which used to be a high class bordello back then...n yes, being the green goose that i am, i believed him/her...i think i also might have spinned the story a bit...i told some of my other friends that the house right next to hyde park, the one across clock tower, was a whorehouse and now it's still running healthy...it is so high-class that you have to be super rich to be a customer....see how convoluted the story has turned into (it's not a real story in the first place)?


a few years later, i realised my mistake...there is a big sign upfront of the house that announced 'some important house related to uni or something'...the next building is a preschool, for goodness sake!will people ever build a whorehouse next to a preschool (sending all the wrong messages to toddlers out there)?not that i ever check my facts first...now, how did i missed that before?my obliviousness has made me a laughingstock of my nice small group of friends (not that i know whether they believe me or not, probably some of them seriously believed it's true)....


coming back on track, i told this to my friend i met in uniguide, ian...man, he blew his top off lauging...he said it'll be a good story to tell my little sheeps a.k.a noobs (the newbies people)...he made me realised (i told a lot of my uni experience anecdotes) that i do have a lot of stories...he said i will probably make a great uniguide (show some appreciation here, clap you hands please?hahaha)...telling stories will make them relate to me, make the situation less tense and awkward and make them relax...ahhh...his words made me feel warm all over...


come to think of it, you never see what other people see in you...i'm not boasting here...it's true that we have a lot of good qualities or bad traits that we never realise we have...in my case, i do realised that i do talk a lot...most of the time, a bit too much (okay, not a bit, but a lot too much)...i sometimes feel that i make too much effort to share, or i share too much to others' liking...some of them will probably feel so but some of them are happy to talk to me or just listening (as they claim)....


lastly, brothels n bordellos...not my place...but good introduction...grabbed ur attention didn't it?hehehe...

hop hop hop

i'm a little green frog, short n stout...bla bla bla...can u feel my boredom here?boredom is seeping from my every little pores, saturating my whole being...boredom which is still not cured after an avid session of clicking to every stupid miscellaneous pages of web that my mouse can get it's little paws on...n it's only been 1 hour and a half after my final summer exam...


i've looked out my window and did a little people watching....interesting that it's raining and seems like NO ONE IS AROUND OUTSIDE!to de-emphasize on my boredom, i tried relaxing and listening to the wee animals chirping happily...not working...need some distraction....


i'm full but decided to cook some curry from the numerous packets of curries that indah passed over yesterday...put a teeny tiny bird's-eye chilli...it's soooo hot that i hopped around....


NEXT!will think of something...should i knock on every door n introduce myself to every one of my neighbours (the ones on the same floor, the ones on the floor upstairs whom one of them vomitted on my window, the ones downstairs whom some of them may be a bit unlucky to listen to my warbled singing every now n then)?

type A

have u ever have a conversation in head?i do all the time (does not mean that i need help)...anyway, i was in the shower when I had this glorious conversation about personalities...it’s not about eccentrism or any type of personalities but a group of personalities that identifies a person...type A as opposed to type B...have u eve r heard of these?a type A person is known to be a high achiever, aggressive, has a temper and meticulous...


this type A personality is very well-known in the clinical world...this type of personality is one of precursors of a lot of cardiovascular related diseases and stress (some agree and some not but let’s put things in perspective here...read more on wiki)...thus, what does this signifies (everything has been very straightforward and bit stodgy so far)?this brings me to my next question...am i one?


ah funnily i can pick and choose which symptoms of type A that i have...i can say that i am a high achiever…about 10 years ago…but now, i may accept that i may not achieve as high as possible (but still feel a bit distressed and depressed about it)…do i cry over a B (or C or fail for that matter)?the answer is a no…but do i keep thinking about it, the thought keep on recycling like a hamster running on its wheel, feeling like i wish i can jump off grafton bridge?yup, most definitely…am i suicidal?i’d like to think not but sometimes the thought creeps on my head as i feel like the biggest loser on earth (well most of us humans will feel like this one this one time or another, loser-feeling, not suicidal!if u are seriously feeling suicidal, seek help!)...


i can safely say i am meticulous (though not obsessively, no obssesive-compulsive behavior for me!)...i make a list for almost everything in my little life...list of things i need to do everyday (updated daily), daily budget (updated when expenses occur), yearly budget, list of boxes of stuff i put in storage every year and the list goes on and on (pardon the pun)...my life is said to be ruled by lists...weirdest thing is i rarely make lifelong plan or even short term plans (or rarely stick to them)...if say, i plan to go to the US this winter, there is a strong chance that i will not follow through....


do i have a temper?my whole family can testify to that...but i'm pretty sure 90% of my friends and acquaintances will say that i'm such a 'sweet-natured' person (though i myself will say that i'm no sweet person, i bitch in my head!hahaha)...i rarely lose my temper in public (thus my 'normalness' persona, as opposed to my 'crazy angry bitch' persona witnessed frequently by my poor siblings)...i will usually keep mum for a long while if i get angry when i'm with my friends (as opposed to a bullet-train-speed talker that everyone prays will stop talking asap)....


so with all this material evidence presented, can i safely label myself as a type A person (are u with me so far, or have u skipped most of this post merrily until this part thus have no eartly idea what i'm yapping about?)?i'd say nah...i'm not obsessive about being number one...i can still control my temper (most of the time, mind u don't test me, i can be vicious, meow!)...that meticulous bit, yup i am but so do a lot of people out there (though truthfully i do arrange my clothes according to type and colours in my closet)


are u a type A?be careful...don't break a blood vessel in ur brain!muahahaha (evil laughter)...

lookin' for L.O.V.E

well the pathetic me make this joke of looking for a bf ALL THE TIME with my gfs...talking to put jolted me out of my patheticness....i'm not really seriously looking for bf for the right reasons such as someone to love etc etc...more like, someone to pay for dinner, presents for bdays n such (such mercenary reasons)....


a friend asked me what should she do if some guy she knows confesses his feelings for her when she has not a speck of affection for him...ah the genius love guru is the one she turned to for la-di-da advice...and why am i a genius love guru u ask?ahhh that's coz i'm never in love, never have a bf before in my freaking 22 years of life (ah give or take a year...or two...older or younger, mind you!clue:i'm talking about my age here), never have any serious crush on ANY GUY, never have any guy HAVING A DEEP PASSIONATE love or crush on me....and so on....


that's the extent of my innocence in love...probably she thought that due to that i have a third person view on love issues (more like my unhealthy addiction to yup, romance books....they rot my brain n perceptions)....anyway back to the real issue here...advice to the lovelorn (or love-u-not)...i'm no more a wise owl than any of u out there on the matters of the heart...i know the basics....my mama taught me a lot (she did have a wide as the ocean experience before my dad....unlike her poor firstborn)


for some examples:

• never lead a guy on if you have no feelings for him and plans to stay that way....
• let him down gently (no cursing, no smirking, no spitting...hey no joke...some stupid girls had done this in the past and i'm sure some clueless bimbo will do it again in not so distant future)
• leading a guy means: accepting dinner dates (here means only u and him n no other pesky gfs), accepting his gifts (no matter how small it is such as daily dinner....that's not small though), treating him like his the god of the universe (cooking for him, talking to him online almost 24/7 and txting and calling him all the time...sounds stalkerish to me)
• guys can act like a freak if u either lead him on or reject him like he's a disgusting worm on ur toes

moving on to the patheticness of my non-existant love life...i mourn it so...i wish at least some guy has a crush on me!my friend said it's not flattering and weird but ah....to be crushed on (err...doesn't sound right does it)....anyway, i rarely think of my love life....but when someone talks about his/her significant other or asking all sorts of love-hate advice or complaining about his/her loved ones, i feel like running to the streets and kidnap a stranger (a GUY of course) and force him into being my THE ONE until he finally submits....opps, that's a sure way of showing that i have finally done it and break a major blood vessel in my brain...


ah...funny how i want a significant other when i sometimes think it's too much a hassle....well, cupid, i'm all a-quiver waiting for ur arrow to strike right in the middle of my poor heart...please do it soon ya?i want to shuck my pathetic no-lovelife label from smack in the middle of my forehead....stupid cupid!hehehe...

oh my baby!

further proof that my sisters are indeed a little bit short of their shortbreads...my baby brother is newly introduced to adolescentdom aka acting all macho and all swagger....he's currently in a prison (living in a dormitory for boys) and lo and behold, me the macho boy is acting all tough and yes let's not forget macho....no more mommy's boy act (except in the privacy of our humble abode)...


to get on with the story, one day, out of the blue, he told my whole family that he got transferred to another block....of course being a bunch of old busy body biddies (plus a bit of caring lost somewhere in the action), my dear darling sisters (that being jaja, gegel and alyn) tried to pry him for the all hush-hush reason of his move...


he was proven to be too tough to fall to their oft-used military interrogation tactics...he kept mum...my sisters interest were now in fever pitch...no more miss nice guy...they resort to threat...this is the looniest part of the story....my sisters threaten him with calling him 'BABY ZAYEV' in front of his dormitory yard in full range of hearing of ALL OF HIS MATES!


and it does sounds disgusting....they did it....the called him 'BABY ZAYEV' so many times with so much cloying affection, it's no wonder that my little brother did not act like a sissy boy...jaja even blew him kisses....and my brother's reaction?gave them the finger and shouted '*uck you' with obvious relish....such immaturity despite all his swagger...methinks that mama needs to wash his mouth with soap to cure his cursing tendency....


so people, do u think a normal loving sister will do this to his adolescent brother in front of his friends?that answers ur question on my sisters sanity....