PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!!!

In a crazy stalker-fan mode today ;P So, let's hear it! Drum roll, please..........

Musings Of The Slow Moving River

Lately I have so many inspirations to write, more than I know what to do with. It's just the lack of time and internet access making things harder for me to share my thoughts. Anyway, one good news coming out of this few weeks is that I managed to not bungle up my driving test (again) and won (it feels like I'm winning some sort of prize ;P) my driving licence. Sigh. Finally. The bad side of things is that I'm such an incompetent driver I managed to scare off my Baba and Gegel. Anyhow, I'm practicing and that's what matters, right? Right?......Right?

Life is moving on an even pace lately. Things are slow and the highlight of my day these days is watching my new and latest favourite korean drama 'Lie To Me'. I won't delve into details, all I'm saying is I'm stark raving mad about this drama!!!! Like chincha, really!!! On another matter, Jaja finally got engaged yesterday. She looked very beautiful and the event went over smoothly. We were very much blessed by God and I am truly thankful that Jaja's is happy. May Allah SWT bless you with a happy and fruitful life ahead :)

I want to share pictures but I'm still waiting for them from Uncle Iman (he's our front door neighbour,the photographer of the day). Wait, I feel really weird calling him Uncle Iman. Even though he is married with 2 cute little toddlers, he's like 30-34 years old. Ooops, I almost gave away my age. Anyway, that's the best title I can come out with without sounding weird or cheesy. Seriously, Uncle Iman and Aunty (I seriously never called her that due to all the awkwardness) Mas' children are so cute and amusing :) Especially Irfan. Watching him makes me want to have a toddler on my own. Irfan, I mean. But then again, I'm not sure I can handle kids right now, with everything almost spilling out of my plate. Life as I know it would end, wouldn't it?

Sorry, My English

Translation: Pardon my English.

Today is the 'Sorry, My English' edition. I present you a finding of about a week old. Enjoy!

I love to troll too!!!!Let's trolly today! Hohoho. It seems like something Santa would say, like 'Hohohohoho, are you a good girl this year? Hohoho, I'm in a trolly good mood! Let's trolly!'. Get it?

Misplaced Loyalty

All Malaysian radio stations nowadays (and radios everywhere, actually) are trying to stay competitive in the IT period. People have become progressively dependent on the internet to find new songs to download to their mp3 players that radios are losing their influence, unlike way back then in the 90s. Even I rarely hear the radio, until I come back to KL and my daily journey to KD. This forces me to the only entertainment that I could find, the radio. I don't own any mp3 devices like ipod or so on since I know I am not a keen music listener, so I have none to plug-in onto the car audio system. And I'm way to lazy to make a playlist.

Anyway, 5 years are a long time for more English radio stations to emerge. Hitz.fm which was the ultimate English radio station back then has more competitions now. Sadly, it also means loss of revenue from advertisements, so they are putting in more and more advert time in between songs. The playlist has also becoming repetitive and another bad mark against them is that they also play old songs. There is nothing wrong with old songs mind you, but Hitz.fm is not like MixFM or other oldies-themed radio stations. Their target audience seems to be the young adults and teenagers, so playing old songs, even just last season's, is not a great strategy to fish more audience from your target market.

The talk time by the deejays have also increased. I don't mind a 5 to 10 minutes talk time in the morning, if only they play at least 3 songs in between the talk time. Idiot that they are, the usually have one song per 15 to 20 minutes of talk time and further 10 minutes of adverts. Okay, I exaggerate, but you get me right? Less talk, more songs please. The talking makes me feel like pulling my hair or pulling the deejays' hair! The exceeding talking time is causing me to switch to another radio, as long as this radio plays a song, cause the talking is becoming more and more frantic and tedious to my ears. It's not helping that morning is so not my time of the day.

Anyway, the whole point of this is my way of saying goodbye to an old friend. Yes, by getting angry and smashing on them ^^. In words. I'm saying 'So long shmuck!' to my long-lost friend Hitz.fm which I left behind 5 years ago, and now I'm leaving you again for good. Actually, I'll peek every now and then, when other radios are becoming tedious too, so....Okay. Let's just end it at that *wink wink*.

Team Player

Team work can either yield stupendously great or disastrous result for me. I am the first to admit that I am a really bad team player. When it comes to compromising, I suck. Badly. I micromanage things. I want things to go my way. I want the end result to look exactly like what I have in mind. I want things to go on my pace. If things go my way, then I'll work extremely hard to make sure I can finish it as soon as possible and as perfectly as I can. When it comes to group work, I'm a nitpicky perfectionist bitch. In another word, I'm a monster.

I have 3 strategies when it comes to tackling group work. 2 strategies are totally extreme, that I'm awed by just realising it. First, I would control and do everything. As in, as soon as we got this assignment, I would take over and start my plans. Then, I would proceed to prepare basically everything by myself, even when the others have their own tasks. Later, to show that 'Hey, I'm cool with this so I'll let you put in about 5% of your work in our final presentation! How cool was that?!!!', I'll add in some of my team mates work. That's compromise in Harley's world, baby.

Secondly, I would be diffident, quiet and passive and let the big dog take it. When I feel intimidated by someone who has a stronger voice, or I hate that 'self-appointed leader' or the group or the assignment, or I just plain fuck-it-I-seriously-don't-care-one-way-or-another, I let everyone else take over. Let them do all the decisions and let them do all the work. Basically, I become the yes-girl. I agree with anything and I would do my task (if I'm assigned with something, which is usually the case with team assignments) minimally satisfactorily. I'll put in enough effort to pass muster. Hey, at least I'm doing something right? It's better than nothing hohoho.

Lastly, which I think is the best strategy but rarely employed by dear ole moi, is the I'm-doing-all-I-can approach. I'll let another person be the leader (which I hate so much, the micromanager that I am) and force myself to be satisfied with my task which is given. I would do my very best researching and presenting and help with all I can so that all of us will get the best result or win something. This is a role that I take so rarely, I don't even remember this particular strategy. However, I'd say this is the best compromise that I could make.

Being human, that I am, I am full of flaws and makes many mistakes. Being a good team player is never in my dictionary. With my strong micromanaging personality, it's really hard for me to be a good sport and share. I want my opinions to be heard and taken seriously. Worse, I want them to be implemented totally. So, I'd say I should get a D (or an F, which ever rocks your boat) in team work like assignments, presentations or discussions. It's fully justified, even if I'd hate my marker (should one mark me a D or F) for an eternity.

P/S: Yes, I still use an old-school wired mouse. And yes, it's pink.

Tale Of Precaution & Reminder

This is a tale of a little girl and a little boy who grew up to become somebody unexpected. This little girl came from a reasonably big family with an almost deprived background. This little boy came from a family which was while not poor, this family was not well-to-do either. Both of them were smart and hard-working. They worked really hard and they grew up to be physicians, specialists in different fields, to-be-exact. The boy turned into one of the few specialists in his field in his country, Malaysia (ooops, I'm giving away clues).

To be the best in what he do, this boy got the rare chance to further his study in the UK way back then. At that point, he met this little girl in med school in his home country, broke his previous engagement (yes he was engaged when he was merely a high school boy, a testament of his strong will) and proceed to marry this wonderful little girl, a young girl in her cusp of womanhood. By the time both of them went to the UK to further their respective studies, they were rewarded with their own wonderful little boy, their firstborn.

Fast-forward around 25 years or so later, both of them are blessed with 6 healthy, beautiful and intelligent children, 5 older ones being boys and youngest was a blessing of all blessings, an adorable little girl with the most beautiful curls. The oldest 4 proceed to study in UK in various fields, from engineering to accounting and medicine. The eldest met his future wife in one of the top schools in UK and marry her and now live happily in KL with 2 beautiful little children.

And these 2 little boy and little girl who grew up to their potentials are successful in building their beautiful family with a very blessed background. The now live in a very beautiful house with their own pool and 3 house maids and they owned more than 4 luxury cars most people can't afford to have and 2 high-end condominium units. They traveled to the UK and US for a month at the end of the year and are in want of nothing. They live the life of the selected fews in Malaysia. To top these all up, they were awarded a title a few years back.

This tale started here. What do people like these people, who are so blessed, want the most in the world? They already have more than most people. There is an adage, 'the more you have, the more you want' that fits them to a T. They should be happy, well at least contented, living the life they have. But no. No. They need to show how lucky, how rich, how educated, how luxurious their life is. Yes. In the moment of epiphany, they were blessed with this great insight that they have to rub their blessings in the faces of those who are less fortunate. Yes, this will bring them super happiness that seems to allude them in their adult lives.

The man who lived to his potentials are now becoming a rude, conscienceless, rude (did I already mentioned this before?), stuck-up prig. His nose is now so high, it is touching the sky. He looked down on people's misfortunes, and with his wealth, instead of helping, he gave people his dose of reality medicine by giving stupendously stupid lectures of making-mistakes bla-bla-bla (really, when one is already down in the dumps, one is very much aware how big one's mistakes are already). And the lectures end there, no other help forthcoming, no sire! That's how life is. His motto is, 'everyone for himself'. God created us to live in our own cocoon, never interacting, never helping another person who is also called a human being.

Now, remember that this man used to study in the land of the Caucasians (he revered them) of all Caucasians. Surprise, surprise, he is now unable to speak his mother-tongue, the Malay language. Forget it that he was brought up in all Malay, Boyan to be exact, household for more than 25 years. Forget it that he lived among this so-called Malays (Boyans again). Forget it that he used to lived in Malaysia for 20 odd years, the land filled with population of Malays who speak mostly Malay. Forget it that he probably lived not more than 5 years or so in UK in his late 20s or early 30s, a period of life when one cannot adopt to a new language like a native. It is quite impossible for one to speak a new language, in this case English, like we're born with it. Yes, one can speak this second language fluently but one will still retain our original accent and the first language is the most natural language one can speak. Excepting special circumstances that would not be delved into now.

This man cannot speak Malay. Can you believe it or not? I lived in New Zealand for 5 years. My closest friends are mostly the locals and international people. I still cannot speak in New Zealand accent, believe me. I can imitate. But I cannot speak English in that accent. So, how come this man cannot speak his own mother-tongue, you tell me? This is a classical case of a Malay saying, an idiom really, of 'kacang lupakan kulit' or 'the peanut forgetting its shell'. Translated: a person who forgot his own background. He forgot that he was brought up by a mother who cannot read nor write. He forgot that he was educated earlier in Malaysia which first language is Malay. He simple forgot.

-More to come, the story of the boy who forgot, the girl who is filled with envy and the family who has everything.-

News From The LaLa-Land

Lately I've been avoiding the news. General news, that's what I meant. I'm becoming one of those people who are losing touch from the world as I grow more distant from society. Okay. That's a bit of a mouthful. Seriously, I love where I am going right now, after all the drama these past few years. However, my social life is getting more and more pathetic (not that it was stellar before or I'm anywhere near the title 'Social-Animal of the Year'). I did used to have a life.

I go out with my friends every now and then for brunch or lunch or dinner or what-ever-as-long-as-I-eat. I catch up and gossip once in a while. I missed Dora, Yaya, Evie, Joyce, Nia and Fazan. I missed talking and gabbing about everything and nothing. Lately, it's nothing. Don't get me wrong, I still see Put once in a while, but it's been a while now. Exam is looming so every bit of energy is focused on studying and preparing. I missed my old life sometimes.

That's veering off the main point of this whole thing. I read the news (actually I was told by Jaja and the DJ of the morning show) that this stupid Malay guy who killed his wife, stuff her in a closet (I think) and proceed to have stupid monkey sex in front of the said-closet with his stupid idiotic slutty girlfriends/mistress. Apparently the maid saw/knew about this but was too afraid to come forward as she was threatened by the homicidal couple. And as you know, being a foreigner in a foreign land without absolute protection, that doesn't help the case at all, so this said-maid scrambled off as soon as she could, before the trial. Thus, this stupid fucker was freed yesterday. I got really angry. Like crazy ape angry.

I don't know why the news get to me so much lately. Every single piece of news become so personal and I am emotional invested. That's why I put off reading the news if I could (since I become so crazy busy, it's easier to do so). So, I'm stuck in the La-La land for now (land of my own orbit distance and in my own mind). Somehow, it doesn't sound so bad, once in a while.

P/S: I swear I'll kill this wife-murderer and his cheap mistress if I see them. I heard he lived close by my place. Lucky them I don't know their faces and I've yet mastered the art of killing without leaving a trace *wink wink* And his name is Mohafri Mohamed. Stupid fucker. And I wonder if anyone will ever ever cater from him again (stupid caterer). Yucks and super-ewwww. Read all about this fucker and slut here. And he is stupidly hideous. This slut absolutely has no taste and discretion at all.

Pen

Pen holds a sacred meaning for me. Back then, when I was in primary school (that's for 7 to 12 years old here in Malaysia, at least I think so) we were not allowed to use pens to write. The reason: we make so many mistakes, it's advisable to use pencils. So, no pens for us. Thus, I waited with baited breath for the day when I was allowed to have coloured pens in my precious pencil case.

You see, my pencil case is my holy grail. I am very selective in what I put in my case. Even my pencil case is precious to me. Until now. Back then, my main aim was to fill my pencil case with as many things as possible. To me, it is a sign of superiority. Superiority of pencil cases in school, in any case. I would purposely arrange my pencil case at an optimum viewing area, so that everyone could see how superior my pencil case was.

Anyway, I grow up and grow to love to have a great set of stationaries. I now limit the amount of stuff I would stuff in my pencil case. Everything comes in ones nowadays. In my pencil case, there will be one blue pen, one pencil, one eraser, one ruler and one stapler (an essential). The main point here, the less the better. Quality over quantity. There's a saying, less is more these days (actually, this applies to fashion, but hey, who cares!I can use it where I want it).

I was actually so ecstatic when I graduated primary school and entered high school. That means that I could ultimately use pens when I write!!!!YAY!!!That's like one of the main thing I looked forward to in high school. Can you imagine my apprehension when I first use a blue pen for my notes and assignments. I think I asked my friends about whether I could use a pen so many times, I think my friends wanted to tear their hair out and screamed 'Yes, yes, use that bloody pen as you like, you bloody irritating broad!'.

Nowadays, I always make sure I have a pen with me. And a notebook. That's not important. The most important point of this post is: I love pen. I even tried so many types and brands and I finally settled on Stabilo Liner 808M. It's a perfect pen. The conclusion is, my love affair with pens will last forever. Even with the new technology like touch screens etc, I will love my pens forever and ever and ever. And ever.....

The End.

P/S: This post reminds me of a primary school Malay language essay titled 'I am a pen' where I have to write a story of life of a pen which was valued but got thrown away after a period. Stupid essay -_-

SPM Result Day

I may come from a totally different generation (in terms of SPM), but I still remember my SPM result day. It was a silent morning, you know the kind that is akin to calm before the storm kind of serenity. I couldn't sleep all that well the night before, with all the anxiety and tossing and turning. After almost 3 months of enjoyment (and part-time working which works well as I have the means to enjoy my holiday), it was the reckoning time. If there are such thing as butterflies in my stomach, I have a LEGION of them in my whole abdomen.

Anyway, I remember distinctly that I didn't want to go to my school to collect my result. You see, I wasn't that close to my high school friends in the first place (excepting Put and Farah, but we're like weird great friends; our friendship dynamics are abnormal shall we say, as we could all survive without each other and still be comfortable and happy with each other. I don't know whether I'm making any sense here). So, there was not so much of anticipation of excited chatter, squealing, crying and catching up for me, friendship-wise. I am also never close to any of my high school teacher, being who I am (I am very comfortable in my own skin, so I work well alone), so no motivation for me there too.

Thus, I decided not to collect my SPM result on The Day. However, I was curious (well whoever is not?), so I called my high school office bright and early (around 9 to 10 am, I think). Surprise, surprise, my high school class teacher told me to get my butt to school and collect my result (and told me my actual result). I was happy to collect my result (my result being my ultimate happiness) and went to do so. The rest was a blur since I didn't think I actually catch up with any of my high school friends (I felt like I was outside of my body, looking at myself in a very very detached way) or my high school teachers. But one thing that will always stick in my mind is I was definitely very happy. The SPM day turn out to be a very happy day for me.

What's On My Playlist Nowadays?

It's been a while. I am so busy (and so un-inspired) I haven't been writing. Anyway, I fell in love with this song. It has such a beautiful lyrics, so I just want to share it ^^ Her song reminds me of Brooke Fraser's Albertine (don't know why). Here goes:

Laura Jane Scott - The Librarian

I know the distance it takes

to sail around the world

I've done it many times

on seas of Van Gogh green

And every night with certainty

the stars descend around the whole like fireflies

It's no surprise I'm here tonight

Holding out hope for a change in the tide

Painted windows on the skyline

Sail me off this empty island

I'll be home before you know it

I'll be home before you know I'm gone

I know the secret waves

that lap around the world

The mermaids sing of them

as they brush their hair with coral

Where every lighthouse sends a beam

like Roman columns to a city down below

And this I know: to plunge down and breathe

Is more than possible if you believe

Painted windows on the skyline

Sail me off this empty island

I'll be home before you know it

I'll be home before you know I'm gone

La la la la (8x)

I know the distance it takes

to sail around the world

I've done it many times

behind my knotted desk

In quiet service to the stories I collect

Until it's time to close and go home for the night

Without the pirates

Without the sirens

Without the love notes in bottles at sea

Waiting for someone

Waiting for someone like me

Painted windows on the skyline

Sail me off this empty island

I'll be home before you know it

I'll be home before you know I'm gone

Painted windows on the skyline

Sail me off this empty island

I'll be home before you know it

I'll be home before you know I'm gone