love this!

familiarity breeds contempt...laziness breeds laziness...uhmm...

one thing i noticed about laziness is, it breeds laziness...as in, once you stop being productive aka lazy aka wasting space and oxygen, you tend to become lazy in the future...for example, i used to do a lot of things....sure, a lot of people never notice me and may thought that i did not do anything in high school, but they were wrong...i got a lot of certificates to prove how productive i was in my spare time...well, i might put away one to two hours of sleep after afternoon prep session, but all in all, i managed not to waste tax-payers' money by wasting away doing nothing in high school....

lately, i noticed that i am not so productive...okay, not productive...at all...i don't help mama at housekeeping...i don't help anyone...basically, i laze around watching tv and reading ebooks...i am so totally wasted, urgghh, wasting space and money and anything that a human being essentially need...i wonder if a human can be recharged, like a battery so that this particular human can be active again...and i don't mean by food....or recycled for renewal...or thrown away, like rubbish that i am becoming...well, that's what jaja likes to say anyway...all the time...

right now, at this particular moment, i am thinking to putting together a list...me and my list, i know i know...like, in between being a useless human being, i may be able to do something else, like performing lobotomy on myself perhaps...nah....too much effort...

2PM

on a happy note, i have turned into a crazed 15-year-old teeny-booper...i fell in love with a k-pop boy band with a vengeance....what time is it now?....it's time for 2PM!!!!!!....I LOVE THEM!!!...LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM!...i don't care!!!...i have become an ultimate stalker but hey, what ever that rocks my boat right????hahaha...check them out ^^

2PM - Heartbeat & Again And Again [Performance]

it's ironic when we go around trying to find what fits us, things that make us happy and fulfilled when sometimes, just sometimes, what we want is just in front of us...along the way we make so many mistakes, some we learned from, most we don't even realize we've committed them...only when we make these particular mistakes over and over again, then we pay attention...

realistically, i made a lot of mistakes...and i will continue to do them... regrettably, in doing these mistakes, they cost me time, money and a lot of regrets...i disappointed a lot of people, particularly my own self...however, in retrospective, i don't want to continue to wallow in regrets that i am completely blinded by the future...

there is a saying, 'look behind, then continue to walk forward'...well, i am going to do that...i will look at my past so far and learn from it...i will continue to carve my own future so i can give back...to my family who has an infinite of patience and faith in me...to the government who gave me second, third and even fourth chances to start over...to my friends who continue to support me in all of my decisions, be them good or bad....

lastly, i want to believe myself again...i want to believe in the future....i want to have faith, blind faith that everything will be alright...i want to put my best two feet forward and put a lot of effort to succeed...i want to have my optimism back...in the end, i just want to want again...it has been so long since i have any semblance of ambition that i became pessimistic and all i did was just going in with the flow...may Allah bless me in my future endeavor...i believe that i have come full circle....

new plan

it has been a while ^^ i feel like i have millions of things to share...however, i seem to have lost any semblance of eloquence...anyway, life has been hectic lately...it has taken another twist and i am determined to follow my new path through with effort and optimism...yes, yes this is vague...i will share more as i go along :)

politics

every time time i read a political piece (news, blog etc etc), i get a major headache...politicians are a corrupt breed...one way or another each one of them has done/is doing/will do one of these things:

1. moral corruption - affairs, mistresses, bribe etc
2. illegal activities - threatening, killing, hurting etc

anyway, i am never a political aficionado...i don't dig deep and if you dip into my psyche, you can see a shallow pool of shallowness...so...no politics for me please...i'm dizzy from just looking at the title...

asian

sometimes it bugs me, that word 'asian'...it is such a generalisation...it's quite unfair to term all people from the Asian continent as 'asian' when it is the largest continent, thus holds quite a number of world population...when i see an online poll, something like 'which ethnicity you identify yourself with' or some official forms where you have to tick your ethnicity, the multiple choices are almost always: caucasian (white supremacy anybody?), african american, hispanic, chinese, indian, asian...

what the heck?...is japanese similar to indonesian, let's say....or malay indonesian similar to malay malaysian...or the aborigines of each nation there is similar to another aborigines...can you not at least be aware that south east asians, like the thais, malays, cambodians, filipinos and others are definitely not the same...we don't speak the same language...we don't eat the same food (while there are similarities, i acknowledge that food across the world have similarities due to world trade back then and internet nowadays)...we don't have the same culture...we don't look the same...basically we are all different...wait...even the spellings differ (unless you can't read, so this post defeats its purpose)...

i also do acknowledge that it is easier to put 'asian' for us the 'asians', rather than list 1000+ of ethnicities...but can you not put 'others' so you do realise that there are other ethnicities out there?...i am an asian, true, but no one will ever ever mistaken me for a japanese or korean or thai or manchurian...what would say, an american or british or australian say if they have to fill a form for ethnicity and the only choice they have is 'american' or something like that?...i don't think american is even an ethnicity...it's a country for god's sake!...so put yourself in 'our' asian's boat...take note, asia is a continent, not an ethnicity...

anyway, we all have to be aware and this classification gives off the impression of self absorbance, lack of intelligence or ignorance...it's simply shameful when a government official form reflects one or all of these 3 impressions...

100% Proven True

there are 2 things i am positively sure about myself...they are:

1. i will always, i repeat, always, accidentally fall somewhere.
2. ..............well, i have it 10 seconds ago, but it flew right out my brain box...........

i am accident prone...i hate it but it happens...i am always extra careful....like when it rains outside, i make sure i wear the right shoes so i won't slip...i will walk slowly and carefully...in my head, there is this demented bunny voice repeating 'i WILL not fall, i WILL not fall, i WILL not fall'...and yes, ironically, i will fall, at least 1/5 times...i don't know why...i think God wants to teach me something...some subliminal message that, up until now, i still fail to comprehend...

anyhow, my friends have taken into their hands to make sure i don't fall...when i go out with them, they will always remind me to be careful and hold my arm...sure enough, i have fallen at least once in front of them...these 2 incidents will always be vivid in my mind...one happened during my salad days....i was walking at the sidewalk on symonds street, at the corner of mount street...out of nowhere, with light pedestrian traffic and no strong wind gusting to blow me away, i fell...fell like an old mildewed log...fell like humpty-dumpty...no falling like a hollywood starlet for me, no sire!...the second one was while i was on the way to grafton for my morning class years ago...i fell into the fresh muck...it was cold, windy, rainy and miserable...yes, i did missed my morning class...

the moral of this story is: being careful is not enough...fate has its own way to intervene...so...i just do my best and pray hard that i would never ever fall in disgrace in front of my friends, ever again...i just fall behind their backs...hehehe...

menu of the week

to counter my depression (i've been sleeping hours and hours last week, i need to snap out of it!) and sickness (major major headache and hot-cold feeling), i'll share my menu for next week...believe me, you don't read it wrong...it's my NEXT week menu, as in the whole week...i tend to cook for the whole week basis nowadays...i'm truly overwhelmed with study and assignments to spend hours and hours everyday at the kitchen....

anyway, i'm cooking spaghetti and prawn, plain sambal (i absolutely cannot live without sambal) and deep fried prawn in my special batter (that means anything i feel like adding in the batter)...and peas...i have no idea what to do with the frozen mint peas i have, but i really really need my peas therapy...okay... ciao!over and out!

smile

i was very very depressed this week...nothing seemed to make me better, but i'm resolved to be happier...i have this song playing over and over in my head suddenly...ah for your information this is one of my all time favourites...let me introduce you to my all time favourite:

patti austin & james ingram - baby come to me