Saturday, April 3, 2010

my life so far

let's do some reflection here, shall we?...i have been writing for more than a year now (yay!)...while that is worth noting, nothing i've written so far is worth of note (get it?)...before i digress further, what i'm trying to say is, have i grown with time, insight and maturity that comes with time and experience?...


after careful 2 minutes of deep thinking, i can safely say, in some ways, i am developing, for better or worse...in other ways, i'm right where i was years ago, or getting worse...but really, how bad can a person fall?...as yet, i can safely say i have yet to kill a person (at least not intentionally or literally) and i have yet to agree war is the best answer., say like america have been touting so far..but that is just a simplified way to justifying 'bad'...


before i go further into mysteries and intricacies of words, let's stays focused...have i grown (yes, i know i grew physically but that's not what we're discussing here...my girth and my weight are another whole topic to be discussed...or probably not)?...to date, i am still judgmental...not proud of it but i'm not ashamed too...reason: i am only human, a product of God's way, genetics, biology, feminism, upbringing, religion, society and to some extent, Hollywood/korean/chinese/japanese anime, dramas and movies....i'm vulnerable and i follow my own developing set of beliefs...


does being judgmental means i'm bad/good?...not really...if u are really paying attention, every one of my statement is really ambiguous...it is to say, depending on individual situations, judgmentalism plays a crucial role in steering my way...so far my instinct has proven me right, but then again, i am the sole judge so i'll never really know...


moving on from this tiresome topic....have i gain more insight?...truthfully i don't know...i have yet to spend my time scouring world newspapers for latest updates of wars, politics or whatnot, so i'm not learning something significantly new...i have yet to gather enough interest to read more 'serious' books other than romance (yes, i still love romance)....i believe i am extremely ordinary in that sense...


thirdly, have i gain brilliance?...i have never stood out, i am not physically beautiful and i also don't have the personality to 'wow' people...but i believe in myself...to answer that question, yes, i believe i am brilliant...not genius brilliant alas, but i love myself...and will continue to do so...


overall, with all these questions brewing in my head, will i steer my writing to a new and more matured ideals?...heck, NO!what's the point?...i like writing fluff and will continue updating on the trials and tribulations of acquiring new shoes and life through my very confusing and ambiguous lenses....


p/s: for more fluff on the side, would u accept 'blind like a bat' as similar to 'blind as a bat'?...i felt cheated somehow...




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