Monday, April 6, 2009

men and women & venus and mars


put (my friend, a girl, it's her nickname) brought forward this article today...i was bored, i had free time (yes, it's that time of the semester, called mid-sem break), my friends are all too busy to have fun (actually i'm supposed to study for tests and assignments, but oh well)...i got on reading...man the article cracked me up!its in-your-face straightforward tone and manner is easy to understand...its view is closely related to what i've felt and observed so far and yes, i LOVE it!the article was written by Lucian and it's unsurprisingly called How Women Select Men and it's a fabulous read to those who have too much time in their hands (or contemplating their ceiling's intricate design)....


the question of the century (ah there are many but i like to spout big statement, bear with me)...how does a woman choose a man?we list the qualities that we would like to find in our ideal mate but we drool over robert pattison (or brad pitt, or any hollywood money-maker males that are currently topping the chart of 'i'm bluff, i'm beautiful, i'm rich')....we would say 'i want him to be faithful, be able to provide for me and our children, nice to small animals, have patience of a saint coz i do test people's patience with my non stop babbling' bla bla bla...but we also want him to be reasonably attractive to us personally...this attractiveness includes his ability to string two words together, his ability to appear to listen when we talk their ears off, his physical attributes (must be at least 1 cm/inch taller than us, we prefer to look up, not down, thank you and no body odour please, that's a major turn off) and so on...


so can we say we actually decide who we would like to be paired off with?ultimately, yes...women do choose their ideal mates...we spurn those whom we find unattractive or unsuitable for a long term...nicely of course (some may not agree)...unless, we want a one night stand or one off experience...which does not count as who we ultimately settle down with is the most important...the men in between, they can be chalked down to experiments and lessons to be learned...we choose the traits we find desirable and we push those which we don't want...but all these traits are most important to the woman herself...if she wants to have a nice secure relationship, she will find a nice, secure man...if she wants an exciting life, she'll find an exciting man...but then again, there are types who go for the opposite...if she's shy, she is drawn to an extrovert male...if she's poor, she wants a rich man...


so you see what i mean?women are choosers...they pick and choose...ask any woman...a woman has her own standards (barring those who are in a dead-end relationships such as those with abusers and total losers, that types need to be discussed in another time)...we'll be happy to settle down if we have enough potential materials in our hands...i remember this conversation i have with evie long, long ago...we were talking about a mutual girlfriend and she said something like 'she has to wake up and open her eyes wide...i see no potential with him...he's happy where he is and right now, he's fast being left behind by her...she has a higher education, while he is happy to work and not pursue a better prospect, not ambitious enough'...i can conclude that we screen our mates material way before they achieve their potentials...we want to see a potential, something that we want to see materialised in our ideal mate in the future...we also want them ideally to be superior than us...we want to respect them...we also want them to respect us...


relationships and the mating dance are intricate and delicate...they are lovely and inspiring and fun...they also have their pitfalls with mistakes and heartaches in abundance...but women for centuries still conciously or unconciously still involve themselves in this game of love...i'm not an expert by any means...but i find this topic very interesting and has so much to be discussed on...love is what i want to find in my ideal mate...the others, yes they are important, and yes, they are compulsory too, but i want to be able to at least love him regardless of his faults and foibles...isn't that the ultimate truth?





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