Sunday, March 8, 2009

u, me and martha

personalities are funny things...i can definitely say i am not suffering from multiple personalities disorder (or wanky wacko)...depending on how u see it, i can subtly change in front of different people...i contribute this to fitting in concept...i want to fit in with a lot of people...it's not possible unless u r eccentric enough or brazenly courageous to have a fixed personality (at least that's what i believe)...i'm craven enough change like the chameleon in front of different types of people....is that so wrong, really?i'm pretty sure a lot of people out there do the same thing....


it's not that i'm doing it purposely...i'm not manipulative (i am but in this instance it's not a insidious type of manipulation ^^)...it's an automatic reaction...say for example, if i'm in front of a softly spoken person, i will suddenly become less brash and my voice level will be tuned down (believe me i've got the biggest mouth ever, which means noise pollution whenever i speak)....when i'm with my family i become a motormouth, loudspeaker, say-what-ever-i-want-andromeda-is-the-limit kind of person...someone in family said i am a 'laser mouth' (meaning no filtering is done in my gray matter before i spit out something)...i can be hurtful and my temper is legendary within my close kin....


if i'm with someone who's very open to any kind of ideas and types of people, i tend to say weird stuff that others will look in askance...for example (i did some censorship here so u ppl who are under 18 is allowed to venture forth!), i can talk about marital relationship with relish (as if i got an intimate experience)...if i'm with an avid academic (or great reader or a wise person) i can suddenly become more 'intelligent' (depends on how u see it, i believe it so but i may sound like a donkey braying about tree climbing, not that the donkey ever climbs a tree in his miserable life before)...i can talk about books that i've read (no romance please....this time!hahaha)...i can talk about world economy (like i read the newspaper everyday, which i stopped doing years ago)...


when i'm with a religious person, i tend to be more circumspect...no sex talk, madam, no way!i will observe my actions and language (did i tell u i'm getting addicted to the word *uck and bitch now?i'm trying to wean the habit out from my brain)....if i meet someone i have yet to know, i can be really quiet as if i am a cheese brain with nothing to say (or a snob, some may definitely say)...the weirdest thing is i'm very shy to strangers...but once they start talking to me, oh my, i can talk until their ears fall off...


another thing i noticed is my personality change also depends on the way i'm addressing people...say if i address a person with 'i' and 'u' i'll definitely be more carefree and a little bit sophisticated (why, i'm learning to be a real lady here!)...if i'm using 'aku' and 'engkau' or 'ko' (a brash and crude way of address in malay), i'll be brasher in my way of speaking...if i'm using the name basis way of address (like 'harley' for me and 'ur name' for ur name), i'll be gentler and more soft spoken....


how i show my personalities definitely affect my openess with another person...i'm off now...will find new things to think about next (new inspiration!)....

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